Partial Payback

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, May 29, 2007.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Well, she couldn't get a vehicle large enough to bring mattress but I talked to a friend who will help me get it tomorrow. She's returned everything but the money which she doesn't have. For now, I am letting it go. Told her she until June 30th to get it. If she has not paid me at least some of the money owed, I will make another trip to her new "home" and get her television and any other electrical appliances she has as partial payment.

    It will be interesting to see her apartment and see if I can tell how many actually live there. It is definitely not in a good part of town. I really hope she is being neater there than she was at home. It took me a week and a half to clean her room and bathroom -- both of which were totally disgusting.

    I just hope I don't break down in tears when I see her. Wish me luck!
     
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Good Luck.

    Just keep telling yourself you can do it. No one has to know if you have a good tear jerker at home later, though. :wink:

    Hugs
     
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, you can definitely do this. Your difficult child is 20 so it is really out of your control anyway.

    Love her but let go. I know how hard it is to do. But for your sanity you need to detach.

    I like Lisa's idea of holding it together while you are with her and then having a good cry to let it all out after you get home.

    ~Kathy
     
  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    You have shown her a good first step, YOU won't be taken advantage of. She may test this again, so be aware. Don't worry about her place being neat, it probably won't, just don't go there. You are doing well on follow thru.....take care of yourself....
     
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    My difficult child was 18 when we had to ask him to leave our home and it was heartbreaking, but you will get over it. Believe me, it won't take you long to get used to the peace and quiet and there will actually come a day when you won't ever be able to imagine her ever living home again.
     
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: KFld</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Believe me, it won't take you long to get used to the peace and quiet and there will actually come a day when you won't ever be able to imagine her ever living home again. </div></div>

    This is so very true. It happens even when you are not sure they can ever make it on their own. continue to take care of you! It takes a while to get good at that when we have been ignoring our own needs for years and years. I cry in private still but I cry alot less than I did a year ago.(((HUGS))) -RM
     
  7. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    We adapt to the chaos we live in...


    It takes awhile for the calmness to feel right again, but it will come.

    Take time for yourself now.

    Sending{{{hugs}}}
     
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