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Past the shock....
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 255474"><p>Oh Linda...I'm so very sorry. All your feelings are so understandable. Are you going to therapy? Are you going often? Do you have at least one good friend that you can talk to about these things?</p><p> </p><p>I recall recently when my cousin died. We were close. She was my only remaining female relative. I still can't speak of her in the past tense. She was young. I barely know the others. I don't have siblings. I stuffed it all in. I gained weight. I was grouchy. I had heart palpitations. I ended up in the ER...embarassed. One day...I cried and cried and cried some more. It helped. I still cry a bit when I think of her. I give myself a little break. It's a big loss and it takes its toll on the mind and body. However, that toll is worse when we stuff our feelings.</p><p> </p><p>Linda..how much more powerful your situation with all the complications here. </p><p> </p><p>I agree with the others, you really need to ask for help with different things. Help with household chores, help with business matters.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever you do, don't blame yourself for your husband's illness and/or issues. They are his and his alone. Perhaps he thought he was doing something noble those last days. You can never get in his head. It's not your fault. He made his own decisions. Regarding the anger...it's understandable. But he was not well and perhaps you got caught up into thinking you could make it right. I think all of us here have those two ingredients...anger at the pain and losses and frustration that we can't make it right. This is just such an extreme example of it all.</p><p> </p><p>Your decision needs to be to get healthier...to heal. Time, rest, therapy, friends...use the tools around you to strengthen yourself.</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you. Prayers and good thoughts for your strength and comfort during this very difficult time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 255474"] Oh Linda...I'm so very sorry. All your feelings are so understandable. Are you going to therapy? Are you going often? Do you have at least one good friend that you can talk to about these things? I recall recently when my cousin died. We were close. She was my only remaining female relative. I still can't speak of her in the past tense. She was young. I barely know the others. I don't have siblings. I stuffed it all in. I gained weight. I was grouchy. I had heart palpitations. I ended up in the ER...embarassed. One day...I cried and cried and cried some more. It helped. I still cry a bit when I think of her. I give myself a little break. It's a big loss and it takes its toll on the mind and body. However, that toll is worse when we stuff our feelings. Linda..how much more powerful your situation with all the complications here. I agree with the others, you really need to ask for help with different things. Help with household chores, help with business matters. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself for your husband's illness and/or issues. They are his and his alone. Perhaps he thought he was doing something noble those last days. You can never get in his head. It's not your fault. He made his own decisions. Regarding the anger...it's understandable. But he was not well and perhaps you got caught up into thinking you could make it right. I think all of us here have those two ingredients...anger at the pain and losses and frustration that we can't make it right. This is just such an extreme example of it all. Your decision needs to be to get healthier...to heal. Time, rest, therapy, friends...use the tools around you to strengthen yourself. My heart goes out to you. Prayers and good thoughts for your strength and comfort during this very difficult time. [/QUOTE]
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