PCdaughter and her difficult child behavior

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by everywoman, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I don't know if she is in a depression from the break up with boyfriend or is just sowing a free wild oats, but she is making me crazy. I caught her and two gfs this evening at the home of two guys from college (the guys were not there). Another guy, an evil friend of boyfriend, was there. He was smoking a joint. husband drove easy child and her friends home. I told friend they had to tell parents and that I would call parents tomorrow to tell myself. easy child got home, packed, and another friend picked her up from the house. She left her car keys and sim card to her phone (she had paid for the phone!) I don't know where she's staying tonight. husband is mad at me because I "over" reacted. I am tired of having everyone around me creating drama after drama. I'm tired. I think I'll go online and look for a spa weekend close by and take off and go. I can't stand anymore right now. My heart is broken. She has always been such a good girl (once we got past the 13-15 age).
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Katmom,
    I'm sorry-it doesn't sound like an overreaction to me. I hope things turn around quickly. by the way-a spa weekend sounds just like what the dr. ordered. :doctor:
     
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    She stayed at a friend's house last night. She called her dad again this morning. She will not call me at all. This all started about a week ago. I know she is in a situational depression caused from the break-up with boyfriend. Why do these girls think that they have to have someone to be whole. I thought I taught her better than that. She usually is so mature---right now she is acting 12.
     
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'm sorry I missed this last night. I'm glad that difficult child is safe this morning. I'm not surprised that she didn't call you - tumultuous years between a mom & her daughter right now.

    I don't believe that I recognized the lady my mother was until I hit 25 or so. I then began to appreciate her.

    Spa weekend sounds good....so where are we going? (Notice how I invite myself to any & all suggestions of this nature lately? LOL)

    Take care of yourself.
     
  5. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I think that there is an age where teens change and start moving apart from their moms. This changes when they get older. It sounds like a confusing time for her right now...such a hard age to live through. I hope that things smooth out and she starts feeling less dependant on guy friends. It is a difficult age to feel really together and not as needy on others.

    Sounds like a good time off for you!
     
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I am going to look online for a place today. Fortunately I recieved a check from my grandparents estate from a cd that had been lost for several years last week. I was going to use it to do some improvements to the house, but I need a break from everyone there---including husband---I'll let you ladies know what I decide to do.
     
  7. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Using the money for you is a great idea. My easy child is 16, and I see the whole need a boyfriend thing too. She seems lost when she isn't "attached". It drives me nuts. It seems girls these days need a boyfriend.

    As for overreacting...no you didn't...he was doing something illegal and she could get in trouble for just being there. Its like guilt by association. Does she think a cop would care that she "wasn't smoking". Its like being with someone if they shoplift, they really don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

    I am sorry husband is being jerky....find a nice place, enjoy yourself and come back renewed.
     
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Its just that she has always been so anti-drug. That's the "reason" she and boyfriend broke up. He relasped and she had had enough. I am upset that she is such a hypocrit. She doesn't want difficult child home because he is a known pot-head. UGH!
     
  9. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    "Its just that she has always been so anti-drug. That's the "reason" she and boyfriend broke up. He relasped and she had had enough. I am upset that she is such a hypocrit. She doesn't want difficult child home because he is a known pot-head. UGH!"

    Isn't it funny how that works out? Well, maybe not funny. My older son (difficult child 2 in my sig) is a by-the-book, hard-nosed probable aspie kid. His entire world is black and white, and he's sure he knows the difference.

    We were having a "discussion" a few weeks ago about how he treats people (after he was fired because of a lack of "people skills"). He replied that I should go away and leave him alone until I deal with difficult child 1's drug problems. His "solution" is to lock difficult child 1 up in a rehab unit, even though two docs and a therapist said this wouldn't work right now. No sympathy, just a "deal with the druggie before judging me" attitude.

    A week later, he goes on to tell us about how his close friend is now down to doing X "recreationally", and how he's so happy that she's not freaked on X all the time any more. I brought up the hypocrisy in that he won't tolerate or condone any drug use in his own family, but is the soul of compassion for a friend who has reduced her use of a much more dangerous drug.

    Ugh. Downhill from there, but I thought it was both sad and strange to find him more compassionate toward a friend than to his own flesh-and-blood. I wonder sometimes if I really even know any more what a family is supposed to be.

    Mikey
     
  10. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    katmom, I can understand your frustration. Hope you can get some time off for a nice break from the craziness.
    I'm waiting for something similar with my easy child. For those of us with an older difficult child and younger easy child, they seem to lose their minds at some point and become someone totally different than they were.
    I'm with you, their drama is suffocating.
    You have my sympathy.
     
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