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PCs, g f gs, sibling relationships. Not sure how to handle this
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 538811"><p>I am the mother of 3 boys-similar in age to yours- and also the younger sister of a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Right now, your difficult child's actions are harming your younger son. 15 is a difficult age for boys-ime-one of the toughest times. 1 foot in adulthood, another in childhood - new friendships abound but are not quite bonded yet and they are rapidly experiencing all sorts of growth-physical, sexual, emotional, social. It's also the age that kids see their friends start to chose paths-partier, intellectual, popular crowd, and all that. </p><p></p><p>I think your h is 100% right. You need to let the boys work this out. Right now, your difficult child is having a detrimental effect on your easy child's life. He is 15 and HE NEEDS YOU TO BE ON HIS SIDE. Fortunately, my easy child was (newly 16) driving when difficult child started acting out -so we gave him a car & a visa credit card and said "you do not have to be a witness to this. If things escalate, if difficult child is being a jerk, if you are uncomfortable -even if the air is simply too thick- GO. Please take young easy child too, but get out of here. See a movie, go out to dinner, whatever. Send me a text & let me know what you are doing. This is not your problem to deal with; it's mine and dads. And I am sorry you have to deal with this." </p><p></p><p>You need to find a way to empower your easy child!</p><p></p><p>We also let both pcs know that difficult child is NOT THEIR OBLIGATION. (h had a difficult child brother too & mom made h the "responsible party")</p><p></p><p>Also, remind your easy child that many boys are NOTHING like their brothers. Most boys don't want to be. Heck most siblings prefer to be dissimilar! If his peers suggest that he and difficult child are alike, he can remind them of the lack of similarities between their own siblings.</p><p></p><p>My dad was one of 5 boys and always warned me never to become my sons' referee or I would be stuck with the job forever. He also told me that boys have a way of working things out between themselves. </p><p></p><p>I would take easy child out to lunch and ask him how he wants to handle difficult child's break. And then I would honor his wishes. My guess is you will be surprised by what he says. I always am!</p><p></p><p>Sometimes you just have to let things unfold.</p><p></p><p>Hth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 538811"] I am the mother of 3 boys-similar in age to yours- and also the younger sister of a difficult child. Right now, your difficult child's actions are harming your younger son. 15 is a difficult age for boys-ime-one of the toughest times. 1 foot in adulthood, another in childhood - new friendships abound but are not quite bonded yet and they are rapidly experiencing all sorts of growth-physical, sexual, emotional, social. It's also the age that kids see their friends start to chose paths-partier, intellectual, popular crowd, and all that. I think your h is 100% right. You need to let the boys work this out. Right now, your difficult child is having a detrimental effect on your easy child's life. He is 15 and HE NEEDS YOU TO BE ON HIS SIDE. Fortunately, my easy child was (newly 16) driving when difficult child started acting out -so we gave him a car & a visa credit card and said "you do not have to be a witness to this. If things escalate, if difficult child is being a jerk, if you are uncomfortable -even if the air is simply too thick- GO. Please take young easy child too, but get out of here. See a movie, go out to dinner, whatever. Send me a text & let me know what you are doing. This is not your problem to deal with; it's mine and dads. And I am sorry you have to deal with this." You need to find a way to empower your easy child! We also let both pcs know that difficult child is NOT THEIR OBLIGATION. (h had a difficult child brother too & mom made h the "responsible party") Also, remind your easy child that many boys are NOTHING like their brothers. Most boys don't want to be. Heck most siblings prefer to be dissimilar! If his peers suggest that he and difficult child are alike, he can remind them of the lack of similarities between their own siblings. My dad was one of 5 boys and always warned me never to become my sons' referee or I would be stuck with the job forever. He also told me that boys have a way of working things out between themselves. I would take easy child out to lunch and ask him how he wants to handle difficult child's break. And then I would honor his wishes. My guess is you will be surprised by what he says. I always am! Sometimes you just have to let things unfold. Hth. [/QUOTE]
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