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PCs, g f gs, sibling relationships. Not sure how to handle this
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 541971" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>SuZir</p><p></p><p>This "situtation" between the boys is normal when there is a difficult child in the family. I know, I come from a family overrun with difficult children, not to mention raised 2 in my own family. </p><p></p><p>It's simply not easy being a sibling of a difficult child. First you have to deal with that difficult child day in and day out. A difficult child usually requires more attention than a easy child child, even if parents are doing their utter best to make certain that the easy child child/children are getting plenty themselves. Then you, as the relative, have to deal with the outside world's opinion, and often ignorance, concerning the difficult child (s).....which is not going to be positive very darn often. </p><p></p><p>But in my opinion, there are many valuable lessons to be learned with having a difficult child in the family, as well. They're not easy lessons, and people often think it's horrible that a child need learn them, but personally, I don't. Because of difficult children in the family (both mental & physical) my kids are far more accepting of people based on their actions, not on words or reputation. A disability might cause a blip on their radar....but not on a conscious level, they see the person, not the disability. They learn early on the world isn't just black and white, right or wrong, good or bad. And there are probably dozens upon dozens of other lessons that aren't coming to my mind at this moment because I have little boys running crazily around the house at the moment. LOL </p><p></p><p>difficult child is right. He needs to leave what difficult child says/does at difficult child's feet and tell others who want to bother him with it that that is where it belongs. And then ignore them and stop letting it bother him when he has no control over what his brother does. This can be a tough lesson to learn, but it's a rather profound one, by itself. </p><p></p><p>I know easy child has had it harder because her sibs were difficult children. But I also think it helped shape her into a better overall person than so many of her peers. Just as having so many difficult children in my own family helped shape me differently than society at large. </p><p></p><p>Younger difficult child is 16, so he's still learning. Much of this will come with maturity. Some of it, believe it or not, in my opinion is normal sibling rivalry. </p><p></p><p>And I have to smile because for all the complaints easy child had over her difficult child sibs, they had just as many over her. It's tough being a difficult child with an older sib who can get straight A's without putting forth any real effort, who is readily socially accepted by everyone, who is good at just about everything she does. They really did see easy child as "perfect" until I began to show them she was not really any more perfect than they are. Just better in different ways.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 541971, member: 84"] SuZir This "situtation" between the boys is normal when there is a difficult child in the family. I know, I come from a family overrun with difficult children, not to mention raised 2 in my own family. It's simply not easy being a sibling of a difficult child. First you have to deal with that difficult child day in and day out. A difficult child usually requires more attention than a easy child child, even if parents are doing their utter best to make certain that the easy child child/children are getting plenty themselves. Then you, as the relative, have to deal with the outside world's opinion, and often ignorance, concerning the difficult child (s).....which is not going to be positive very darn often. But in my opinion, there are many valuable lessons to be learned with having a difficult child in the family, as well. They're not easy lessons, and people often think it's horrible that a child need learn them, but personally, I don't. Because of difficult children in the family (both mental & physical) my kids are far more accepting of people based on their actions, not on words or reputation. A disability might cause a blip on their radar....but not on a conscious level, they see the person, not the disability. They learn early on the world isn't just black and white, right or wrong, good or bad. And there are probably dozens upon dozens of other lessons that aren't coming to my mind at this moment because I have little boys running crazily around the house at the moment. LOL difficult child is right. He needs to leave what difficult child says/does at difficult child's feet and tell others who want to bother him with it that that is where it belongs. And then ignore them and stop letting it bother him when he has no control over what his brother does. This can be a tough lesson to learn, but it's a rather profound one, by itself. I know easy child has had it harder because her sibs were difficult children. But I also think it helped shape her into a better overall person than so many of her peers. Just as having so many difficult children in my own family helped shape me differently than society at large. Younger difficult child is 16, so he's still learning. Much of this will come with maturity. Some of it, believe it or not, in my opinion is normal sibling rivalry. And I have to smile because for all the complaints easy child had over her difficult child sibs, they had just as many over her. It's tough being a difficult child with an older sib who can get straight A's without putting forth any real effort, who is readily socially accepted by everyone, who is good at just about everything she does. They really did see easy child as "perfect" until I began to show them she was not really any more perfect than they are. Just better in different ways. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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