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pe Scared And Don't Know What To Do
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<blockquote data-quote="WorriedForSon" data-source="post: 116226" data-attributes="member: 4505"><p>Thanks for the information so far. Yes, I do know I am VERY limited to what I can do because of his age. It has been that way since he was 17, due to the state laws. I have pretty much tried to tread softly and only give advice when he is open to it. I have said very little to her parents but have been extremely frustrated at their inability to be consistent with their daughter. </p><p></p><p>However, when she went into the crisis center for drinking bleach in attempt to kill herself, the mother contacted me and I told her I would support her in anyway possible. This decision made because I do feel it is in the best interest of both, my son and her daughter. My relationship with my son is now in a strain and I was willing to take that strain for the betterment of his life. However, she turned coat and it all seemed for nothing. I do appreciate the last post because I definately let my tongue fly the last couple of days and it got absolutely nowhere. There is no talking logic to the mother at all. I receveid an email from her again on Friday and chose to simply ignore it.</p><p></p><p>I do not agree in giving up control when the daughter is only 16. I do not think they are giving her much of a chance at a normal life either considering she has never dated anyone other than my son and considering the obvious problems she has. She might be strong willed, but the parents will must be stronger. Both of my sons are pretty strong willed but when my oldest was younger and I felt something was bad for him, I did stop the situation. It wasn't always easy and sometimes it took months of battle. But at a certain point, he decided the battle was no longer worth it. I certainly do not think they have done their absolute best to prevent her from doing what the counselors say she should not do. For example, still able to use the phone and answer the phone andd still staying home alone. There are other alternatives they could opt for, but they had rather her continue down the path of destruction and take a few other lives with her. </p><p></p><p>It is very frustrating to watch someone have so much control over your child's life and all you can do is sit back and watch. I honestly think it is a power trip a control issue for both the mother and the daughter. In fact, at one point the mother said to me "we have taken the control from you". I guess in some twisted way that is what she thinks, but I haven't had any control since he was 17. Nonetheless, I think that is what it is all about for them both. Sadly enough, my son will pay the price.</p><p></p><p>He did talk about going to counseling to make the mother happy when they were slamming him saying he was completely and totally abusive. I told him that it would be a good idea. I had hoped he would follow through with that so he could deal with why he chooses to be in such a relationship. So far, he has not done so. But perhaps with the availability of counseling in the military, he will do so.</p><p></p><p>I just feel very helpless when I can see the destruction so clearly. Bless his heart, he repeats things I have taught him over the years but in a somewhat twisted way...like, everyone deserves a second chance, treat others with kindness and respect including those with mental handicaps. It is not their fault and stand up for them if others try to mistreat them, through christ all things are possible etc.</p><p></p><p>I have even tried to reason with him using my own relationship with his father by telling him things he already knows but bringing them back to the for front like the fact that I did love his father but loving someone doesn't mean letting them abuse you. You can still love them, it doesn't mean you have to be with them. I even used siblings as an example, I love them too but I chose not to have a very close relationship with two of the seven because of their ways (theives,drugs etc). Nothing seems to soak in.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thanks again</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WorriedForSon, post: 116226, member: 4505"] Thanks for the information so far. Yes, I do know I am VERY limited to what I can do because of his age. It has been that way since he was 17, due to the state laws. I have pretty much tried to tread softly and only give advice when he is open to it. I have said very little to her parents but have been extremely frustrated at their inability to be consistent with their daughter. However, when she went into the crisis center for drinking bleach in attempt to kill herself, the mother contacted me and I told her I would support her in anyway possible. This decision made because I do feel it is in the best interest of both, my son and her daughter. My relationship with my son is now in a strain and I was willing to take that strain for the betterment of his life. However, she turned coat and it all seemed for nothing. I do appreciate the last post because I definately let my tongue fly the last couple of days and it got absolutely nowhere. There is no talking logic to the mother at all. I receveid an email from her again on Friday and chose to simply ignore it. I do not agree in giving up control when the daughter is only 16. I do not think they are giving her much of a chance at a normal life either considering she has never dated anyone other than my son and considering the obvious problems she has. She might be strong willed, but the parents will must be stronger. Both of my sons are pretty strong willed but when my oldest was younger and I felt something was bad for him, I did stop the situation. It wasn't always easy and sometimes it took months of battle. But at a certain point, he decided the battle was no longer worth it. I certainly do not think they have done their absolute best to prevent her from doing what the counselors say she should not do. For example, still able to use the phone and answer the phone andd still staying home alone. There are other alternatives they could opt for, but they had rather her continue down the path of destruction and take a few other lives with her. It is very frustrating to watch someone have so much control over your child's life and all you can do is sit back and watch. I honestly think it is a power trip a control issue for both the mother and the daughter. In fact, at one point the mother said to me "we have taken the control from you". I guess in some twisted way that is what she thinks, but I haven't had any control since he was 17. Nonetheless, I think that is what it is all about for them both. Sadly enough, my son will pay the price. He did talk about going to counseling to make the mother happy when they were slamming him saying he was completely and totally abusive. I told him that it would be a good idea. I had hoped he would follow through with that so he could deal with why he chooses to be in such a relationship. So far, he has not done so. But perhaps with the availability of counseling in the military, he will do so. I just feel very helpless when I can see the destruction so clearly. Bless his heart, he repeats things I have taught him over the years but in a somewhat twisted way...like, everyone deserves a second chance, treat others with kindness and respect including those with mental handicaps. It is not their fault and stand up for them if others try to mistreat them, through christ all things are possible etc. I have even tried to reason with him using my own relationship with his father by telling him things he already knows but bringing them back to the for front like the fact that I did love his father but loving someone doesn't mean letting them abuse you. You can still love them, it doesn't mean you have to be with them. I even used siblings as an example, I love them too but I chose not to have a very close relationship with two of the seven because of their ways (theives,drugs etc). Nothing seems to soak in. Thanks again [/QUOTE]
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