Sometimes I want to just hand difficult child over to them for a week, and THEN they can be allowed to make suggestions. difficult child is at a level 12 group home and is unfortunately on the edge of being kicked out and placed in a level 14. The home is fairly new, and just installed its own counselor. Im sorry, but this guy is a PUTZ. He called husband last night, WITH difficult child in the room, to try and persuade husband to give difficult childs guitar back to him. Is it just me, or is this really unprofessional? Ahhh the guitar. difficult child loves his guitar and is convinced he is going to be a rock star (so he doesnt do a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g in school except misbehave because he doesnt need school and is way smarter than all those kids anyways). After a while, no carrot or stick seemed to get through to him except the guitar. Lots of money? No effect. Video games? No effect. Outings? No effect. So the group home director started using the guitar. You get it taken away if you do xyz for a set amount of time. You get this many hours with it when you exhibit x amount of good behaviors. Well it sort of not really worked for maybe a week or two. difficult child had a few epic meltdowns and since the director had it written into difficult childs behavioral contract, the guitar was removed to our home. difficult child can play a little when hes visiting us, but thats it. Apparently, in spite of repeated warnings, in spite of the extremely clear behavioral contract, difficult child thinks the guitar was taken from him in a really unfair manner. And since the counselor only got difficult childs side of the story (and difficult child has become very manipulative pretty much tells everyone different stories depending on what he thinks will get him what he wants), he believed him and was treating husband like HE was being unreasonable, all in front of difficult child. Great. The last thing difficult child needs is for someone to support his ideas. It wasnt even husbands decision to take the guitar away! I am so tired of my husband being treated like the villain because difficult child makes him into the bad guy. My husband has had to endure multiple false abuse allegations, being arrested due to one of them, paying bail, going through the court system, difficult child calling him names and being aggressive towards him, being treated like a pariah by people who have believed difficult childs stories and through all this he has been there for difficult child, constantly supporting him, trying to make sure he got the best schooling, that he was being treated fairly, trying to get him the appropriate treatment and services. I am sick of it! I love difficult child, but I am tired of him using my husband as a punching bag. I am so disgusted with his behavior. And I hate that every time I see difficult child, that all sort of melts away and I cant seem to stop from being nice to him because I do love him. He just doesnt deserve it. I really wish he would just be allowed to go and live with his mom which is what started this whole thing but she just cant get her sh!t together and is borderline incestuous-inappropriate with him. Its disgusting. I have tried everything to the fullest of my abilities, as has my husband, as has difficult childs social worker, his CASA worker, his teachers, his principals, the group home director the only one who wont try is difficult child. I am sick of people new to the situation suggesting things like THEY KNOW BETTER.