Perspective on Aspie Intensity

[susiestar]

A week or so ago I was going somewhere with my mom and we were talking about my dad's aspie intensity. When he retired it drove her nuts and still sometimes does.

I made what to me was more of an offhand comment than anything profound and I was totally shocked when it really surprised her.

My dad has that intensity in a MAJOR way. I commented that even though it was annoying when it was about some random hobby, it was really neat to me, esp as a kid/teen because he applied that same intensity to loving my mom.

It had NEVER occurred to me that she couldn't see that. I remember being about 5 and realizing it, that my parents were a lot different than my friends because of this intensity.


For those of you in relationship with Aspies, it may not always be easily visible, but this might apply to your relationship also.

 

[TeDo]

How insightful of you, even at that young age. Keep in mind that sometimes it's easier to see things as an "outsider" than it is as one that is wrapped in the mix. I am VERY glad that you were able to tell her that. I hope it makes some sort of difference for her.

 

[Hound dog]

It did apply to husband.

He might not have always shown it properly, but I never in 30 yrs doubted he loved me. There were also times that with the wrong person, it could almost appear like smothering. Fortunately for husband, he didn't have the wrong person.

The man held my hand everywhere we went for 30 yrs.

This might give your mom a new perspective. I know husband drove me nuts when he was home 24/7........but yeah.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Hmmm... maybe our whole family is Aspie? (no dxes for that... )
Just the whole "intensity" thing.
Even K2 - the almost-easy child social butterfly - has trouble with friends. Because of... the intensity.
Within our own family - us 4 - we don't notice. It's just the way we are.
But I'm sure other people must wonder, sometimes...

 

[TerryJ2]

he applied that same intensity to loving my mom

Oh ...
Sigh.

Yes, it can appear to be smothering. But it seems like you pegged it right. Amazing little kid you were.

 

[Liahona]

I think this intensity is the only reason husband has outlasted difficult child 1 and x. Any other man would've been driven away years ago.