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Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 16801" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Myfirstandlast, on the subject of why you feel a label is necessary, you said, "I think I need the label for me. Despite my best efforts, what if all this is just a result of "child of divorce" and "bad parenting"? It would soothe me to have a name for it, if not a reason."</p><p></p><p>I can understand that. The important thing is, you know WHY you want the label. You've clearly thought about it.</p><p></p><p>You also mentioned problems with encopresis. Very familiar!</p><p>We didn't do too bad with difficult child 3, compared to his older brother. difficult child 1 is pretty good now, although with both of them they sometimes need reminding to go to the toilet and try for a "2". But mostly, they take care of it themselves now.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 especially - would not notice his body signals. Same with difficult child 3, but he got the hang of it much sooner.</p><p>Basically, the body would normally tell you that it's time to go "to the reading room" for a long session. But with these boys, they simply didn't heath their bodies screaming at them. This is fairly common in autism, even high-functioning, because it's part of sensory integration problems.</p><p>Another aspect to the sensory problems - they like what makes them feel comfortable physically. This doesn't necessarily mean they will notice soiled pants. But they DO respond to sameness in clothing - they like to wear the same clothes constantly. difficult child 3 would even choose to wear his school uniform on weekends, because he had got used to them all the week. The clothes also had his 'smell' on them. And if part of that familiar smell is due to the encopresis, it doesn't matter -it's familiar.</p><p>difficult child 1 is my worst in this. I have a terrible time trying to get dirty clothes from him to put in the wash. When I do I have to treat them separately because otherwise everybody else's washing smells. I woke him on his birthday and said, "I want those sheets you're lying on - gosh, where does a YEAR go?" It's not quite that bad, but almost. </p><p></p><p>So be aware - the difficulty you have in getting him to notice or do something - even if it's offensive, it's what he has become accustomed to and change is scary. You will need to support him through changing. nagging makes their anxiety worse and makes them want to cling even more to the dirty clothes.</p><p></p><p>The problem with a soiled tail is the skin irritations. They may respond to that. As I type this, I just had difficult child 3 in here asking me for some cream for his itchy rear end. He's very sensitive to this sort of discomfort, which could be why we got over the encopresis with him so much earlier than we did with difficult child 1.</p><p>What we did - we have a 'telephone shower' head in our bathroom. A kid with dirty pants (and we do the same for a kid with knickers full of sand, coming back from the beach) was put, clothed, into the shower area (shower off) to remove soiled clothing. The soiled clothing would be left in the shower recess. The child would then either turn the shower on themselves, or I would do it to get the temperature right. They then hosed themselves down (and also rinsed their clothing). I would grab the clothing in a plastic bag and take it to the washing machine (or alternatively, a bucket with a manual plunger-washer). With younger children I would check that they had got themselves completely clean, then I would give them either some cream (like Sorbolene) or coconut oil to rub over the area. The oil helps form a barrier and soothes any inflammation.</p><p></p><p>We also keep a box of baby wipes beside the toilet, so the kids can use those to make sure they've got themselves completely clean if they've had an accident. We have a special bin to put the soiled wipes in (not a good idea to flush them). A jar of cream or oil is also beside the loo for convenience.</p><p></p><p>When you have a kid with this problem, charts won't work if the child's brain is simply not picking up the signals. You can't discipline them for something they have little control over. But charts and rewards DO help when they're beginning to get the message. Punishments, never, because the problem is made worse by anxiety and frankly, for the sake of health, we need to encourage honesty and fast response. "Mum, I had another accident".</p><p></p><p>We found a reward system worked well for difficult child 3 once he was able to make the connection. With difficult child 1 we just kept reminding him.</p><p></p><p>My sister successfully 'toilet-trained' her youngest son at the age of 3 months. He was completely bowel-trained. I watched - she would put him on the potty after every feed. Of course she caught everything. And amazingly, this bub quickly got the message of what to do on the potty. But of course, he couldn't take himself to the toilet for another year or more. And then, he needed help undressing himself and climbing up onto the seat. So was he really trained, or was SHE?</p><p></p><p>The thing is, he DID recognise the feel of the potty and knew what to do. And I'm sure it's the same with your son. He knows what to do when he IS sitting on the loo. It's just knowing to give it a go.</p><p>And this is where we stepped in, with our son's understanding - "to reduce accidents, we are going to remind you to go, if we think you need to. And if you can't remember when you last went, then you need to go NOW!"</p><p></p><p>So between keeping an eye (and nose) on him and regular reminders (especially after meals) we have resolved a lot of the problems.</p><p></p><p>And back to your need for a label - I wouldn't rule out Asperger's. It got ruled out with difficult child 1 9 years before he was diagnosed. The smarter the kid, the older the kid, the harder it is to diagnose. But your instincts need to be listened to as well.</p><p>Your youngest sounds very much a easy child. So how could SHE be so easy, and DS not? He sounds Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) to me, and I've never heard of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) being the result of divorce. There are many kids out there, children from divorced families, who are easy child. You have one, which increases the chances of your others being easy child too. Why aren't they? I doubt it's your fault. SO don't feel guilty about wanting some surety. But in the meantime, keep loving the kids and supporting them through this. Treat what you see gently and with love and patience. Have faith in yourself.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 16801, member: 1991"] Myfirstandlast, on the subject of why you feel a label is necessary, you said, "I think I need the label for me. Despite my best efforts, what if all this is just a result of "child of divorce" and "bad parenting"? It would soothe me to have a name for it, if not a reason." I can understand that. The important thing is, you know WHY you want the label. You've clearly thought about it. You also mentioned problems with encopresis. Very familiar! We didn't do too bad with difficult child 3, compared to his older brother. difficult child 1 is pretty good now, although with both of them they sometimes need reminding to go to the toilet and try for a "2". But mostly, they take care of it themselves now. difficult child 1 especially - would not notice his body signals. Same with difficult child 3, but he got the hang of it much sooner. Basically, the body would normally tell you that it's time to go "to the reading room" for a long session. But with these boys, they simply didn't heath their bodies screaming at them. This is fairly common in autism, even high-functioning, because it's part of sensory integration problems. Another aspect to the sensory problems - they like what makes them feel comfortable physically. This doesn't necessarily mean they will notice soiled pants. But they DO respond to sameness in clothing - they like to wear the same clothes constantly. difficult child 3 would even choose to wear his school uniform on weekends, because he had got used to them all the week. The clothes also had his 'smell' on them. And if part of that familiar smell is due to the encopresis, it doesn't matter -it's familiar. difficult child 1 is my worst in this. I have a terrible time trying to get dirty clothes from him to put in the wash. When I do I have to treat them separately because otherwise everybody else's washing smells. I woke him on his birthday and said, "I want those sheets you're lying on - gosh, where does a YEAR go?" It's not quite that bad, but almost. So be aware - the difficulty you have in getting him to notice or do something - even if it's offensive, it's what he has become accustomed to and change is scary. You will need to support him through changing. nagging makes their anxiety worse and makes them want to cling even more to the dirty clothes. The problem with a soiled tail is the skin irritations. They may respond to that. As I type this, I just had difficult child 3 in here asking me for some cream for his itchy rear end. He's very sensitive to this sort of discomfort, which could be why we got over the encopresis with him so much earlier than we did with difficult child 1. What we did - we have a 'telephone shower' head in our bathroom. A kid with dirty pants (and we do the same for a kid with knickers full of sand, coming back from the beach) was put, clothed, into the shower area (shower off) to remove soiled clothing. The soiled clothing would be left in the shower recess. The child would then either turn the shower on themselves, or I would do it to get the temperature right. They then hosed themselves down (and also rinsed their clothing). I would grab the clothing in a plastic bag and take it to the washing machine (or alternatively, a bucket with a manual plunger-washer). With younger children I would check that they had got themselves completely clean, then I would give them either some cream (like Sorbolene) or coconut oil to rub over the area. The oil helps form a barrier and soothes any inflammation. We also keep a box of baby wipes beside the toilet, so the kids can use those to make sure they've got themselves completely clean if they've had an accident. We have a special bin to put the soiled wipes in (not a good idea to flush them). A jar of cream or oil is also beside the loo for convenience. When you have a kid with this problem, charts won't work if the child's brain is simply not picking up the signals. You can't discipline them for something they have little control over. But charts and rewards DO help when they're beginning to get the message. Punishments, never, because the problem is made worse by anxiety and frankly, for the sake of health, we need to encourage honesty and fast response. "Mum, I had another accident". We found a reward system worked well for difficult child 3 once he was able to make the connection. With difficult child 1 we just kept reminding him. My sister successfully 'toilet-trained' her youngest son at the age of 3 months. He was completely bowel-trained. I watched - she would put him on the potty after every feed. Of course she caught everything. And amazingly, this bub quickly got the message of what to do on the potty. But of course, he couldn't take himself to the toilet for another year or more. And then, he needed help undressing himself and climbing up onto the seat. So was he really trained, or was SHE? The thing is, he DID recognise the feel of the potty and knew what to do. And I'm sure it's the same with your son. He knows what to do when he IS sitting on the loo. It's just knowing to give it a go. And this is where we stepped in, with our son's understanding - "to reduce accidents, we are going to remind you to go, if we think you need to. And if you can't remember when you last went, then you need to go NOW!" So between keeping an eye (and nose) on him and regular reminders (especially after meals) we have resolved a lot of the problems. And back to your need for a label - I wouldn't rule out Asperger's. It got ruled out with difficult child 1 9 years before he was diagnosed. The smarter the kid, the older the kid, the harder it is to diagnose. But your instincts need to be listened to as well. Your youngest sounds very much a easy child. So how could SHE be so easy, and DS not? He sounds Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) to me, and I've never heard of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) being the result of divorce. There are many kids out there, children from divorced families, who are easy child. You have one, which increases the chances of your others being easy child too. Why aren't they? I doubt it's your fault. SO don't feel guilty about wanting some surety. But in the meantime, keep loving the kids and supporting them through this. Treat what you see gently and with love and patience. Have faith in yourself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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