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Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 677024" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Hi, and welcome.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>HOW he got to where he is, isn't your biggest problem right now, but... can I take his side for a minute? Given what you've told us about his diagnosis, and his history... life in general, and school in particular, would have been a living nightmare for him, every single day. <em>And absolutely nobody would have seen his side or understood.</em> Having lived that way most of his life, of course he has a very specific perspective. It's not entirely his fault. If there is any blame to be put anywhere, it's on school systems and medical systems and mental health systems that punish these kids from the beginning, never believe them, try to force them to "be like everybody else". Why do I know this? I've lived it... three times. Once myself, and twice more with my two kids.</p><p> </p><p>Once the damage is done, there are no easy answers. Ideally, he would be able to get in to a dual-diagnosis program, where they can deal with both the addiction(s) and the mental health issues, and try to give him the skills for stability. Trouble is, he probably doesn't trust anyone, and especially medical people - due to his past experiences.</p><p> </p><p>We have come so far in our attitudes toward physical disabilities. We are still in the dark ages when it comes to mental illness, and we live in a world that is less accepting and less forgiving every single year.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs. You need to look after yourself. You are important, for you. And for two more kids and a hubby. A child (or adult child) with mental illness can suck the strength and health out of us. We do what we can, but it is necessary to set limits, boundaries, whatever term you want to use.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 677024, member: 11791"] Hi, and welcome. HOW he got to where he is, isn't your biggest problem right now, but... can I take his side for a minute? Given what you've told us about his diagnosis, and his history... life in general, and school in particular, would have been a living nightmare for him, every single day. [I]And absolutely nobody would have seen his side or understood.[/I] Having lived that way most of his life, of course he has a very specific perspective. It's not entirely his fault. If there is any blame to be put anywhere, it's on school systems and medical systems and mental health systems that punish these kids from the beginning, never believe them, try to force them to "be like everybody else". Why do I know this? I've lived it... three times. Once myself, and twice more with my two kids. Once the damage is done, there are no easy answers. Ideally, he would be able to get in to a dual-diagnosis program, where they can deal with both the addiction(s) and the mental health issues, and try to give him the skills for stability. Trouble is, he probably doesn't trust anyone, and especially medical people - due to his past experiences. We have come so far in our attitudes toward physical disabilities. We are still in the dark ages when it comes to mental illness, and we live in a world that is less accepting and less forgiving every single year. Hugs. You need to look after yourself. You are important, for you. And for two more kids and a hubby. A child (or adult child) with mental illness can suck the strength and health out of us. We do what we can, but it is necessary to set limits, boundaries, whatever term you want to use. [/QUOTE]
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