Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 677159" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Drinking binges are alcoholism. An alcoholic does not have to drink each day, or be drunk all the time. But when he drinks, he can't stop until he is completely gone. Your son will spend his "food money" on alcohol. If you want to hellp out, suggest buying some peanut butter, bread and a few other staples, but not any $$$ at all. Would not listen to long stories of his binging, some which may be true, probably some untrue to gain sympathy. Addicts lie to get money to fund their habits, and they lose jobs, and bang up cars (you don't want your son to get a DUI) and blow through landlords...if YOU pay, he isn't given a reason to stop drinking. Trust me, he will deny he is an alcoholic but if he went to AA or to any substance abuse counselor, he would be told, without sympathy, that he is. Until he quits alcohol, this is his life. But it doesn't have to be yours. Like you usaid, he needs an AA sponsor who will not feel sorry for him, but will listen to him. You aren't one. You're not a licensed substance abuse counselor either. You don't know how to help him. It hurts him when you treat him as if he was a "poor little boy who can't take care of his life." He's a man who CAN change. But he has to want to, but he won't if Mother is there.</p><p></p><p>If it were me, I wouldn't listen to his long-winded stories and I'd cut him off saying, "Drinking sure gets you into trouble. I have to go now.," Be very calm. Do not indulge him or let him bring you to tears over how "everyone else" is so unfair to him. He is a man doing this to himself. He is way too old for mommy to be sending him ANY money, which is probably going for partying/drinking anyway. He can find places to eat. </p><p></p><p>I know this hurts you dearly. Hugs and more hugs for your hurting heart. Please take care of YOU and let him figure it out. It's his life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 677159, member: 1550"] Drinking binges are alcoholism. An alcoholic does not have to drink each day, or be drunk all the time. But when he drinks, he can't stop until he is completely gone. Your son will spend his "food money" on alcohol. If you want to hellp out, suggest buying some peanut butter, bread and a few other staples, but not any $$$ at all. Would not listen to long stories of his binging, some which may be true, probably some untrue to gain sympathy. Addicts lie to get money to fund their habits, and they lose jobs, and bang up cars (you don't want your son to get a DUI) and blow through landlords...if YOU pay, he isn't given a reason to stop drinking. Trust me, he will deny he is an alcoholic but if he went to AA or to any substance abuse counselor, he would be told, without sympathy, that he is. Until he quits alcohol, this is his life. But it doesn't have to be yours. Like you usaid, he needs an AA sponsor who will not feel sorry for him, but will listen to him. You aren't one. You're not a licensed substance abuse counselor either. You don't know how to help him. It hurts him when you treat him as if he was a "poor little boy who can't take care of his life." He's a man who CAN change. But he has to want to, but he won't if Mother is there. If it were me, I wouldn't listen to his long-winded stories and I'd cut him off saying, "Drinking sure gets you into trouble. I have to go now.," Be very calm. Do not indulge him or let him bring you to tears over how "everyone else" is so unfair to him. He is a man doing this to himself. He is way too old for mommy to be sending him ANY money, which is probably going for partying/drinking anyway. He can find places to eat. I know this hurts you dearly. Hugs and more hugs for your hurting heart. Please take care of YOU and let him figure it out. It's his life. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
Top