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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 677169" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Totally understand that fragile feeling. Ultimately we all need to do what feels right to us.....I know there are ways I help my son more than some think I should.... But it doesn't really matter because you have to do what you can live with. For example many on this board do not pay for a cell phone for their kids.... All for good reasons. For me I pay for a cell phone for my son because it helped me be able to check to see if he was alive when he was homeless and it gave me peace of mind. Right now he is not homeless but I still feel better knowing he can reach me if he needs to and I can reach him..... So enabling or not I pay for his cell phone.</p><p></p><p>And you are right as far as his car.... You don't own it, you are not paying for it, you can not do a thing about it. I would agree don't pay for his car but it would make no sense for you to try and go and take his car..... That would be the exact opposite of detaching.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.... Remember everyone is coming from similar but different situations and we are comfortable doing different things and setting different boundaries and that is ok. They key is to figure out what they are for you.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 677169, member: 15801"] Totally understand that fragile feeling. Ultimately we all need to do what feels right to us.....I know there are ways I help my son more than some think I should.... But it doesn't really matter because you have to do what you can live with. For example many on this board do not pay for a cell phone for their kids.... All for good reasons. For me I pay for a cell phone for my son because it helped me be able to check to see if he was alive when he was homeless and it gave me peace of mind. Right now he is not homeless but I still feel better knowing he can reach me if he needs to and I can reach him..... So enabling or not I pay for his cell phone. And you are right as far as his car.... You don't own it, you are not paying for it, you can not do a thing about it. I would agree don't pay for his car but it would make no sense for you to try and go and take his car..... That would be the exact opposite of detaching. Hugs.... Remember everyone is coming from similar but different situations and we are comfortable doing different things and setting different boundaries and that is ok. They key is to figure out what they are for you. TL [/QUOTE]
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petrified for 23yo son..
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