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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 677209" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Copa - I totally get why you keep your distance. Your health and well being has to come first. My son is across the country which means we have some natural distance and to be honest that is helpful to me.... Because what is going on with him is not in my face all the time. When he was near by it was much harder in some ways..... Although easier in others.</p><p></p><p>I also agree that my life does not depend on what my son does. I have gone on and developed a life for myself and am no longer completely consumed by how he is doing. And it does not sound horrible to me that that is even true about him living or dying! </p><p></p><p>I am haunted by 3 recent deaths of young people my kids knew. I really can't say how I would handle that..... BUT I came to the point when my son was homeless and I was lying in bed worrying about him being dead in a gutter somewhere... Where I realized I had no control over his choices and that included his choice to live or die. He has got to want to live to live and if he doesn't there is not a lot I can do about that. That relates to drugs and to suicidality. If he asks me for help I can help.... Twice when he was living near me I took him to the hospital when he called and was suicidal. The fact that he called me was a sign that he wanted to live. In a bizarre way that has given me comfort. But in the end we have no control whatsoever of their choice in this matter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 677209, member: 15801"] Copa - I totally get why you keep your distance. Your health and well being has to come first. My son is across the country which means we have some natural distance and to be honest that is helpful to me.... Because what is going on with him is not in my face all the time. When he was near by it was much harder in some ways..... Although easier in others. I also agree that my life does not depend on what my son does. I have gone on and developed a life for myself and am no longer completely consumed by how he is doing. And it does not sound horrible to me that that is even true about him living or dying! I am haunted by 3 recent deaths of young people my kids knew. I really can't say how I would handle that..... BUT I came to the point when my son was homeless and I was lying in bed worrying about him being dead in a gutter somewhere... Where I realized I had no control over his choices and that included his choice to live or die. He has got to want to live to live and if he doesn't there is not a lot I can do about that. That relates to drugs and to suicidality. If he asks me for help I can help.... Twice when he was living near me I took him to the hospital when he called and was suicidal. The fact that he called me was a sign that he wanted to live. In a bizarre way that has given me comfort. But in the end we have no control whatsoever of their choice in this matter. [/QUOTE]
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petrified for 23yo son..
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