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Substance Abuse
Phone calls from difficult child are terrible
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 581423" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Karen - many gentle hugs to you. </p><p></p><p>It is so hard to ferret out fact vs. fiction with- our kids. My son's second Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was a snake pit, ultimately shut down by the state about 6 months after I pulled him out. I heard the stories from difficult child, and I got the rationalizations from staff, and I chose to initially believe staff, because after all, when you place a child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in the first place, you are having to take a leap of faith that they know what they're doing and that they will protect your kid. </p><p></p><p>Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and my son's final placement in a TLP (transitional living program) still had some very violent and aggressive kids (my son being one of them). in my humble opinion, that's part and parcel of residential treatment of older teens. They're not in the most restrictive placement possible because they're cooperative or compliant or even safe. </p><p></p><p>I think the difference between snake pit Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #2 and the others - the warning signs that I should have clued in on much sooner - was staff attitude, communication, and ... concern, for lack of a better word. At #2, staff always downplayed the chaos that was going on. They were really good at rationalizing marks on my son's body and the signs of obvious violence in the building (broken windows, broken chairs, etc.). I witnessed staff not intervening immediately as kids started to rev up. </p><p></p><p>Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and TLP were always upfront with- what was happening. Not only that, but as my difficult child continued to escalate in his aggression, they were *always* looking for better/safer ways to deal with him. He did get clocked by a peer twice in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3, but I immediately got a phone call and an explanation, which always more or less jived with what difficult child told me. They had a boatload of staff per unit in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and they were on top of those kids. TLP not so much, but by that stage and as part of the nature of the program, if the kids had issues, they'd usually just take off from the building.</p><p></p><p>So... what am I trying to say, LOL? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I guess it's that the aggression among peers does not, in and of itself, raise huge red flags to me - how staff deals with it is the key. I know the sheet issue bothers you, and I'm kinda on the fence on that one. On one hand, did your difficult child ever ask for sheets (silly question, but I know my kid probably wouldn't have, assuming that someone would wait on him hand and foot, even in Residential Treatment Center (RTC))? on the other hand though, staff should be doing room checks several times a day - I have a hard time fathoming staff not addressing a bed with no sheets.</p><p></p><p>I went back and read some of your previous posts, and I'm getting the sense that the substance abuse is the primary issue with your son? Leading to noncompliance with- mental health treatment? I know it all gets so mixed up in there it's hard to weed out the issues sometimes, but... I kinda agree with- you that perhaps this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is not the right placement since it's not dual-diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>I know you searched high and low for this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - but I think you need to resume the search again. One resource might be your state board of education - lots of them have listings of residential schools approved by the school; maybe there will be something in there that will fit your needs. Another would be caseworker and/or social worker where he's been hospitalized before - the SW at my difficult child's hospital was a real blessing when it came to choosing the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p></p><p>I'm really so very sorry you're going thru this. I'm not sure it's ever "easy", but I do know it's a gazillion times worse when you have these concerns and there's no sure-fire way to know what is really going on. I would definitely continue with the close communication with- all staff involved in difficult child's tx.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p><p></p><p>ETA: Perhaps your insurance company would also be a good resource in finding a more appropriate placement. What's in-network? Do they have an advocacy program/help line/resource person? Doesn't hurt to call and ask - sometimes "the" answer comes from the most unexpected places.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 581423, member: 8"] Karen - many gentle hugs to you. It is so hard to ferret out fact vs. fiction with- our kids. My son's second Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was a snake pit, ultimately shut down by the state about 6 months after I pulled him out. I heard the stories from difficult child, and I got the rationalizations from staff, and I chose to initially believe staff, because after all, when you place a child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in the first place, you are having to take a leap of faith that they know what they're doing and that they will protect your kid. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and my son's final placement in a TLP (transitional living program) still had some very violent and aggressive kids (my son being one of them). in my humble opinion, that's part and parcel of residential treatment of older teens. They're not in the most restrictive placement possible because they're cooperative or compliant or even safe. I think the difference between snake pit Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #2 and the others - the warning signs that I should have clued in on much sooner - was staff attitude, communication, and ... concern, for lack of a better word. At #2, staff always downplayed the chaos that was going on. They were really good at rationalizing marks on my son's body and the signs of obvious violence in the building (broken windows, broken chairs, etc.). I witnessed staff not intervening immediately as kids started to rev up. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and TLP were always upfront with- what was happening. Not only that, but as my difficult child continued to escalate in his aggression, they were *always* looking for better/safer ways to deal with him. He did get clocked by a peer twice in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3, but I immediately got a phone call and an explanation, which always more or less jived with what difficult child told me. They had a boatload of staff per unit in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and they were on top of those kids. TLP not so much, but by that stage and as part of the nature of the program, if the kids had issues, they'd usually just take off from the building. So... what am I trying to say, LOL? :winking: I guess it's that the aggression among peers does not, in and of itself, raise huge red flags to me - how staff deals with it is the key. I know the sheet issue bothers you, and I'm kinda on the fence on that one. On one hand, did your difficult child ever ask for sheets (silly question, but I know my kid probably wouldn't have, assuming that someone would wait on him hand and foot, even in Residential Treatment Center (RTC))? on the other hand though, staff should be doing room checks several times a day - I have a hard time fathoming staff not addressing a bed with no sheets. I went back and read some of your previous posts, and I'm getting the sense that the substance abuse is the primary issue with your son? Leading to noncompliance with- mental health treatment? I know it all gets so mixed up in there it's hard to weed out the issues sometimes, but... I kinda agree with- you that perhaps this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is not the right placement since it's not dual-diagnosis. I know you searched high and low for this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - but I think you need to resume the search again. One resource might be your state board of education - lots of them have listings of residential schools approved by the school; maybe there will be something in there that will fit your needs. Another would be caseworker and/or social worker where he's been hospitalized before - the SW at my difficult child's hospital was a real blessing when it came to choosing the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I'm really so very sorry you're going thru this. I'm not sure it's ever "easy", but I do know it's a gazillion times worse when you have these concerns and there's no sure-fire way to know what is really going on. I would definitely continue with the close communication with- all staff involved in difficult child's tx. Hang in there. ETA: Perhaps your insurance company would also be a good resource in finding a more appropriate placement. What's in-network? Do they have an advocacy program/help line/resource person? Doesn't hurt to call and ask - sometimes "the" answer comes from the most unexpected places. [/QUOTE]
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