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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 65489" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Janet, I agree with Suz that you should wait a while, at least a month or even longer, before visiting. He may want to see you because he thinks that his pleas to get him out will be harder for you to resist in person.</p><p></p><p>You need to be keeping him at arms-length right now. It will do him good to stew on it for a while. He's got a lot of thinking to do. He has no right whatsoever to expect you to revert to some "warm, concerned mommy" role and be consumed with worry for HIM when he's in there for committing a crime against YOU! TWICE! One of these days that's just going to <em>have</em> to sink in with him! He's always wiggled out of just about everything in the past and he might not be able to do that this time. He's a grown man now and he needs to take responsibility for his actions, be accountable, stand on his own two feet, and get his life back on track. He's still very young - he can do it. But this is something he needs to do on his own. Not saying that you should "disown" or abandon him completely. Be supportive if he makes an effort to help himself, but that's about all you can do. If he ends up in a state prison someday, those guys don't <em>get</em> to call their mothers asking them to get them out! He needs to realize that!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 65489, member: 1883"] Janet, I agree with Suz that you should wait a while, at least a month or even longer, before visiting. He may want to see you because he thinks that his pleas to get him out will be harder for you to resist in person. You need to be keeping him at arms-length right now. It will do him good to stew on it for a while. He's got a lot of thinking to do. He has no right whatsoever to expect you to revert to some "warm, concerned mommy" role and be consumed with worry for HIM when he's in there for committing a crime against YOU! TWICE! One of these days that's just going to [i]have[/i] to sink in with him! He's always wiggled out of just about everything in the past and he might not be able to do that this time. He's a grown man now and he needs to take responsibility for his actions, be accountable, stand on his own two feet, and get his life back on track. He's still very young - he can do it. But this is something he needs to do on his own. Not saying that you should "disown" or abandon him completely. Be supportive if he makes an effort to help himself, but that's about all you can do. If he ends up in a state prison someday, those guys don't [i]get[/i] to call their mothers asking them to get them out! He needs to realize that! [/QUOTE]
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