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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 65720"><p>I know all about retail therapy. :wink: Unfortunately, I also suffer from buyer's remorse. Kind of a catch 22.</p><p></p><p>I've thought often about whether I'm doing too much or not enough for my daughter. I don't know and we will probably never know. Those are questions that don't have answers. Like witzend, and I'm sure like many of us here, my knee-jerk reaction is guilt. That I did this to my daughter, that I didn't do enough, that I've made life too easy so she doesn't have to work so hard. Any way you slice it I'm going to find a way to blame myself.</p><p></p><p>The reality is, it is up to our kids to want to change. That's something I've really been trying to impress upon my daughter of late. I can give her the resources and teach her the tools, but she has to want to make use of them. Like leading a horse to water. I don't want my child to be miserable, but she doesn't want to do the work. In fact, when I've told her that I don't want her to be miserable, her response on more than one occassion has been, "So!! I'm not going to die." Speaks volumes, don't you think? I do realize that part of that is coming from the depression and feeling like everything is insurmountable so rather than make that huge effort it's easier to do nothing. I understand that because I've been there. And at her age, too. I guess the difference between her and I is that I never once found it acceptable to live my life that way. I wanted more.</p><p></p><p>And just like my difficult child, Janet, Cory has to want more. He has to want better.</p><p></p><p>You're handling this very well. Hats off to you.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p><p></p><p>by the way, did you order room service?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 65720"] I know all about retail therapy. [img]:wink:[/img] Unfortunately, I also suffer from buyer's remorse. Kind of a catch 22. I've thought often about whether I'm doing too much or not enough for my daughter. I don't know and we will probably never know. Those are questions that don't have answers. Like witzend, and I'm sure like many of us here, my knee-jerk reaction is guilt. That I did this to my daughter, that I didn't do enough, that I've made life too easy so she doesn't have to work so hard. Any way you slice it I'm going to find a way to blame myself. The reality is, it is up to our kids to want to change. That's something I've really been trying to impress upon my daughter of late. I can give her the resources and teach her the tools, but she has to want to make use of them. Like leading a horse to water. I don't want my child to be miserable, but she doesn't want to do the work. In fact, when I've told her that I don't want her to be miserable, her response on more than one occassion has been, "So!! I'm not going to die." Speaks volumes, don't you think? I do realize that part of that is coming from the depression and feeling like everything is insurmountable so rather than make that huge effort it's easier to do nothing. I understand that because I've been there. And at her age, too. I guess the difference between her and I is that I never once found it acceptable to live my life that way. I wanted more. And just like my difficult child, Janet, Cory has to want more. He has to want better. You're handling this very well. Hats off to you. (((hugs))) by the way, did you order room service? [/QUOTE]
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