Physical Violence Prevails, Once, Again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ShakespeareMamaX, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    So after starting a new journal with the Summer Camp staff, I actually received no calls today (hooray!), but when I got the journal back...

    He kicked a staff member! He said he did it because the staff scared him (staff made some growly face :grrr:, jokingly) and so he ran behind the bleachers, the staff tried to grab him, and he kicked him. *sigh* Since the medication removal, he really seems to just be getting worse. :frown:

    On a good note, I think we'll actually be able to see a doctor tomorrow! Yesssss

    I could really use a few good coping skills. :hammer:
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm glad your getting in to see the doctor tomorrow.

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    OK, it's wrong to kick people, but it sounds like he was reacting in panic. The staff shouldn't have tried to grab him, they should have either watched him from a safe distance and/or talked to him.

    To try to modify this sort of behaviour, we need to get into his head to understand why he reacts this way. Then it's easier to prevent and re-teach more appropriate behaviours.

    Someone on another thread commented that these camps are often run by kids who really don't have the training and understanding to 'get' a difficult child.

    And another point from easy child 2/difficult child 2 - she has done a lot of 'carnie' work, entertaining kids at carnivals, street fairs etc. She used to dress as a clown in full white-face, with hearts and glittery stars on her face, with a rainbow wig. She was not much bigger than most of the kids she was entertaining, except when she was doing it on stilts. But for the last few years she has refused to wear her clown face because she says too many little children are scared by it. She might have some face-paint on, maybe a spray of flowers across her cheeks, but not white-face. She says she's getting much better interaction with the kids. I think she's right.

    But it took her time and experience to work this out. She's amazingly good with kids of all ages but especially really little ones. The adults who hire her often ask for her to dress as a clown - she's lost work because she refuses. She will dress as a fairy or a pirate, but not a clown. Her last job, she dressed as a giraffe! But she wasn't working with little kids for that one.

    So it's always important to remember - some kids can be spooked really easily by something intended in fun. The camp people should have known this, and it should be discussed with them in resolving any issues. I wouldn't punish him but I would make him apologise to the person he kicked, and make him work out with them a more appropriate way to cope next time.

    Good luck with the doctor.

  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    What we noticed with difficult child 1 was that when a meltdown was coming, using a monotone, low, reasuring tone was key. Once you combined that with re-directing the focus to something other than what was triggering the outburst, he mellowed out 10 times faster.

  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Have your read the Explosive Child yet by Ross Greene? He gives wonderful tools in helping manage these meltdowns. Now, of course, it will not help with schools and camp staffs, but maybe the ideas you learn within it you can share as needed with the staff.

    Our kids, definitely can get violent. I am glad you are going to the dr tomorrow, he should be able to help with this.
  6. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    I like the idea of the monotones. I find myself, automatically, doing this and it really does help! It's amazing how, sometimes, the lower you talk, the more attention you get.

    I agree, Marg, about some of the younger staff being under trained. I wrote something in a past post about how upsetting it is to me, that camps/daycares don't do enough to get the proper help.

    I'm pretty sure the staff member my son kicked was the same one laughing at him while my difficult child was running into the girls' bathroom. I was easy on my son when I heard what he did, to who and why, but I still explained that hitting is never the answer...unless you're cornered and being attacked. :p

    His day was a bit better today with the exception of him running away from the staff into the parking lot.

    I had given him a goal to do one more good deed a day and have one less problem (instances are counted in his journal), and, today, it really showed! And though, he got one more negative count than yesterday, he got TWO more positive counts!

    It was so relieving, considering what happened with the doctor. Or...what DIDN'T happen. I called the office and, to make a long story short, the therapist available at the moment got on the phone and said they could do nothing for me, I have to wait until my son's regular psychiatrist is in (Tuesday) to make an appointment, and I should keep my son "contained" and not let him do things where he hurts himself. If it gets too bad for me, I should go to my nearest emergency room.

    Bah... I think I may invest in searching for a new psychiatrist. I should have taken a clue when, after my son was prescribed a new medication, we were rescheduled from the 5th of July to come back in August when my son's medications had long run out and nobody had monitered my difficult child's behavior for nearly 3 months, because the doctor wanted to go on vaca.

    Fortunately, my son and I got a great psychologist out of this office.

    Wish us luck for the weekend! And >skwishes< to you all! <3
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you didn't get into the doctor today. I know how frustrating that can be. I'm glad he had a fairly good day at camp today!