Picking up wee from school yet again.

[confuzzled]

I'm involved in a couple of local support groups, but none are in this district.

forget "this district".

where are these peoples children finding successful programming? what private schools do their children attend? what public schools? it really doesnt matter "what district" they are in...if they could possibly meet wee's needs, and accept tuition based students, then you should look at them. even if they are on the moon. even if the school sounds like it so might not apply....like "the childrens school for the purple"....a small group setting with trained personnel might work wonders for wee. it doesnt have to be a behavioral placement. it just needs to be an appropriate placement. (although, at this point, it still seems to me that just about any alternative is more appropriate than now)

and dont forget...the IEP drives placement, not the other way around. so goals/mods would have to be worded just so if you find somewhere else...not broad statements that can be met in any school setting, or you'll be right back to "this district".

 

[tictoc]

I find it appalling that when Wee needs a break from class he is sent to sit at the principal's desk. What about going outside to run or swing or whatever physical activity he finds calming???

I understand that you are in a small district and it sounds like the SD simply lacks the personnel/expertise to help Wee in a constructive manner. So, it looks like you either need to advocate for an alternative placement or (with the help of you therapist, psychiatrist, and other experts) create a plan for the school to follow and take legal action to make it happen. Or, move.

But, really, none of those options is at all appealing.

 

[whatamess]

Wee should have a place at his home school. They can create a program for him, but it is easier to push you around (and Wee) and by easier I mean cheaper. It's really about the money for districts. Start by simply writing an email that states how Wee is not receiving FAPE and state what you believe Wee needs to receive FAPE. Ask for a response within 2 business days. Send the letter to the director of special education, the principal of Wee's school, and the Superintendent. You should see some action soon. Do you know what Wee needs? It sounds like he needs 1:1 and a list of positive behavioral supports to prevent behaviors to start with. You could also mention compensatory education for all the missed days of school so far, that may mean they'd have to give him extended school year (and they hate doing that).

 

[tiredmommy]

Actually, I think wee would probably benefit from an extended school year IF he had an appropriate placement. It could limit a lot of the transition problems.

 

[KTMom91]

Wow. Wish I had some other ideas for you.

 

[SRL]

When you are asking around, ask where the nearest therapeutic day school is because there may be something else out there not run by the public schools. Be sure and ask his team as well-they need to know stop thinking about limiting Wee's setting and services to what's on hand at the school.

Also, make sure to let them know it's time to think out of the box. For instance, when our district has a student that can't handle the school setting for a full day but isn't to the point of needing a therapeutic day school setting, they will use a homebound teacher one-on-one at the school or another district site so that the student receives a full day of school. It fulfills the obligation of FAPE and is less stressful to the student, while not assigning the existing staff a student that is more than they can handle with their existing responsibilities. It also keeps the burden of educating the student on the school,as part of their legal obligation.

 

[confuzzled]

i thought about you all night, and i wanted to come back to this thread....

my posts make it sound like i'm an advocate for restrictive placements--and i most certainly am not. i'm actually quite the opposite...i believe in the value of LRE, i think kids should go to their neighborhood schools and be mainstreamed to the fullest extent possible.

my actual position on education is that there needs to be options. there are times that needs just cannot be met in a public school and a private setting IS the LRE.

after following your threads, i assumed a lot of things, maybe rightly, or more likely wrongly. i assumed there is no real resolution with your local district. i assumed it was impossible to get wee's needs met in the local school, for whatever reason. and i also assumed that what you both are experiencing cannot.go.on, not for a second more.

perhaps it is just that your district is uneducated in how to deal with a situation like wee's, and would be more than happy to "fix" it if they knew how. maybe they really have done all that is reasonable to do. or maybe not. you seem like a highly motivated mom, and i get the impression you've done every single thing you could possibly do, and then some, and there is no room left to collaborate with your district.

but its wee that suffers while everyone continues to figure it out. its not fair to him to not find some modicum of success on a constant basis while the grown-ups try to throw various solutions at the issue....

it just seems to me that its time to think outside the box.

 

[Shari]

I don't know any support group moms in this district. And the majority of moms in neighboring districts have pulled their kids to home-school. I dont' know any kids at the alternative school...very secret/private kinda thing. I know one mom who forced the issue in her district and came out with an acceptable outcome. I've been using her as a resource since last year, but I haven't made the progress she had.

I apologice, also, for not responding. We packed up Wee and took him to the fresh air and sunshine for a few days. Insead of sitting around at home "being out of school", we went on vacation. Scr** them. I wish they had to deal with him in the hotel room 600 miles from home, crying because he's a screw up and didn't get to go to his Valentine's party. But, they aren't.

I hope you understand that I do realize the principal is running a school for 300 kids - BUT has placed himself in a position of wanting to be closely involved with Wee...which I commend. But also, with which, I put a greater level of responsibility/accountablility on his shoulders...if you are going to be closely involved by choice, you've got to understand the ramification of your actions with Wee and weigh them at every turn, or you WILL elicit a physical response. And the more I think about this, the more I think perhaps there is a conflict of interest for the principal...while dealing with Wee, his thoughts also have to go to what is best for the other 299 kids there...he doesn't worry solely about what's best for Wee. I think he needs to step out of that roll andd find another person to fill it.

I know it sounds like Wee is horibly fly off the handle, and there are days, but he's really not that bad and is entirely re-directable IF you'll take the time to learn to read him. Je really does tolerate a lot of frsutrations these days. WAY more than years past. And you can't expect him to "sit in a chair and cool off"...again...takes time and practice to learn that...

The school has not yet talked about the manifestation...I left a message with SpEd director to get it on the books.

I have not one iota of doubt that, again this year, I could shadow Wee thru school and keep him in the mainstream classroom all day long the vast majority of the days. I don't expect perfection from the others, but I expect someone to at least try to learn how. Not ship him out every time the going gets tough. And I guess thats why I get so mad. They say "we'll help, we'll help" and then when they screw up, there's no acknowledgement of what they could have done different and it all falls on Wee.

SRL, I've talked about homeboud...are there any guidelines for that you know of? As in what time of day or location? I've been told out district will try to send a tutor to the house in the evenings...which still makes me their scape-goat...

Ya know....Wee's in-home talked about having a really tough case he worked in this district some time ago...I just recalled that...I'm goign to call him.

 

[susiestar]

I think you have some excellent points that the school has just ignored the ball, not dropped it. The spelling game in gym is one example.
'
If you really want to move, my district has 5 elem schools. Open district which means relatively easy transfer to another school if you have problems at one. Each school has at least one sp ed teacher, and some have 2. PLUS we have a school with a more in-depth program than the others. More therapeutic, more staff, more interventions aimed at special needs. My kids haven't been there but I know many of the staff and they are really good (librarian is sister in law to husband's bff, for example). We are an hour-hour and a half from TWO large cities - each with hospitals, specialists, and more. You have seen one of our cities and it is NOT the one with the larger children's hospital, though it does have a children's ER that is very effective with shorter waits than most.

I think the 2 paras is nuts. The idea that if sp ed and para are there that para is wasting time is nuts. Para is LEARNING and providing continuity. Also provides info as to what is happening all day. Until this happens they have NOT provided "all they can". I have not ever heard that a para was "wasted" if another staff member was there, it just flabbergasts me in its stupidity.

I really hope you can get this changed and hopefully have the paras read teh IEP and BIP and FBA. They NEED this info, if they are trustworthy enough to be paras then they are trustworthy enough to read this, in my opinion. I would be tempted to get my copy of these and copy it and give it to the para. Until that happens how can the para be effective?

Why is wee taken somewhere to sit when he is mad? It is nuts. These people are idiots, in my opinion, cause there is no COMMON SENSE in their plan.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[Shari]

ExMIL used to work in this district and she is just horribly disappointed with it all. VERY. They want to do something. I beleive that. But they have no idea what or how, and do little to learn unless pushed or otherwise at wit's end. The problem is, Wee is the one that pays if I am allow them to truly get to that point...

I don't want to, but I will move him if I have to. The OK doctor says he thinks schools there will work with him, so if we move, it will probably be somewhere like that that we have some assurance that its not for naught.

My last post seems a little short, too. Sorry...didn't mean to come across that way.

We've had a good time today at the beach. We visited the forts and rode the ferry, shelled at the beaches andd he even swam in the gulf, even tho its WAY too cold for that. Minor meltdown at a souvenir store when he wanted to buy a gun and we said no, but got over it, and when he went back in, purposely stayed away from the guns. And tried and loves alligator.

Its been good to escape.

 

[SRL]

I don't know any support group moms in this district. And the majority of moms in neighboring districts have pulled their kids to home-school. I dont' know any kids at the alternative school...very secret/private kinda thing. I know one mom who forced the issue in her district and came out with an acceptable outcome. I've been using her as a resource since last year, but I haven't made the progress she had.

I would try NAMI or Autism Society of America to see if there's a chapter anywhere in your general area.

NAMI
http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm


It's usually not easy to find out what kids are attending alternative settings. The school certainly shouldn't be divulging the information so what's left is word of mouth.

I hope you understand that I do realize the principal is running a school for 300 kids - BUT has placed himself in a position of wanting to be closely involved with Wee...which I commend. But also, with which, I put a greater level of responsibility/accountablility on his shoulders...

Did the principal make it sound like he was doing anything out of the ordinary? Because in most schools what he's doing is just part of the normal job description, whether it's written into the IEP or not. Our elementary school has a high population of sped and behaviorally challenged kids and all four principals we've had have done this same role of assisting when a child is on the verge of not being able to handle the classroom or staff can't handle them. Sometimes the child sits quietly in their office, sometimes the principal is doing some serious talking with them, occasionally he/she is physically restraining the child, or giving directions to other staff. I assure you, the position he's put himself into is not at all unusual he's just doing what is expected with his job.

I know it sounds like Wee is horibly fly off the handle, and there are days, but he's really not that bad and is entirely re-directable IF you'll take the time to learn to read him. Je really does tolerate a lot of frsutrations these days. WAY more than years past. And you can't expect him to "sit in a chair and cool off"...again...takes time and practice to learn that...

Your only recourse for this is to have it written into the BIP, and if it's already there and they're not following it, then hold their feet to the fire. Otherwise they can do what is convenient, least expensive, illegal, etc.

In order for redirection to happen consistently, it will be necessary to have a para assigned to him from the moment he steps foot on school property to the time he enters his transportation home. Best would be the same para with a substitute during the para's break times. The school can argue about wasted time and costs all they want but that's not your problem. Your problem is that Wee's BIP cannot be followed without it, thus violating his right to a FAPE (have your definition of FAPE and log of missed school days ready).

The reality is that they cannot expect every single staff member who comes into contact with him to a) know who he is and b) to handle him according to the BIP. Just yesterday a teacher friend of mine was chatting and said the staff had received a warning to not intervene with a BD kid in their school who was being disruptive; the problem is the kid was alone in the hallways and none of the staff in that area of the building knew he was a BD kid because they're never identified to the rest of the staff. Staff are in an impossible situation, both because of this and because virtually all staff members have responsibility of more than one kids at a time, and because kids don't respond to all adults in the same way.

Also, it's worth mentioning that just because he's redirectable by you, the sped teacher, and the speech therapist who did one day of testing, it's no guarantee that will translate to other staff members. Even as parents we see that kids often respond to one parent far more appropriately while flying off the handle at the other, even if the parents responded in exactly the same way.

I have not one iota of doubt that, again this year, I could shadow Wee thru school and keep him in the mainstream classroom all day long the vast majority of the days. I don't expect perfection from the others, but I expect someone to at least try to learn how. Not ship him out every time the going gets tough. And I guess thats why I get so mad. They say "we'll help, we'll help" and then when they screw up, there's no acknowledgement of what they could have done different and it all falls on Wee.


SRL, I've talked about homeboud...are there any guidelines for that you know of? As in what time of day or location? I've been told out district will try to send a tutor to the house in the evenings...which still makes me their scape-goat...

Any plan which involves you during the school day is a violation of Wee's federally mandated right to a free and appropriate education. For any forward progress to be made it's important to let the district know that educating Wee is their responsibility from 8am to 3 pm (or whatever a full day of school is in your district), whether that is done in his current building or a more specialized, therapeutic setting. Anything short of that (or an agreed upon shortened school day that follows the state's definition of a legal school day), is illegal.

Reading over therapist's note to you it sounds as if he doesn't think Wee can handle the building at this time, then an IEP meeting needs to happen fast unless it's written in there that he is to be home half time.

Homebound instructors are usually assigned to students who have medical reasons for which they cannot attend school. For sped students with behavioral problems homebound is inappropriate beyond a very short term arrangement because it's a violation of the student's FAPE, and in most cases, least restrictive environment. Our district will also offer to use a homebound instructor at a school or other district location for situations like students who have anxiety issues so that they don't become so accustomed to being home that it compounds the problem. FYI: homebound instructors frequently only come during the course of the school day since the student should be home with an adult.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/blog/?p=59

Given the amount of school he's missed, it would be appropriate to bring your therapist in for an emergency IEP meeting to help push for a temporary least restrictive arrangement, and if you can find one, an advocate to push for a more suitable long term arrangement. I know it's hard to want to work reasonably with the district, but if they don't respond to reasonable, you have to fight or hire someone to do the fighting for you. I know of someone whose child attended a very small school who conveniently for them maneuvered so that parents of kids with issues got fed up and moved away. They wanted their child to remain at the neighborhood school and when they couldn't make it work, they got it done in one meeting with a $2000 attorney bill. Not fun or cheap, but from that point on the child got what he needed.

Hang in there, Shari. Glad to hear you had a good getaway.

 

[busywend]

I can feel the warrior mom coming out!


My difficult child used to go hang out with the prinicpal, too. This was 7th grade. She ended up missing so many classes. And I did not know for many weeks that she was doing this. I don't understand how someone that runs the whole show can have time to hang out or watch any child.

 

[SRL]

I don't understand how someone that runs the whole show can have time to hang out or watch any child.

I'll tell you how--if there's no other administrator around, the secretary does the watching part of the time...or all of the time if the principal is out of the building.

 

[tiredmommy]

Shari- I've subbed as a classroom aide and a para. A classroom aide is there to assist the teacher and a para, in general, is assigned to a student. You have to believe me when I say there is no wasted time for either unless the teacher doesn't give back up work to do. An example I get when I sub for the cutest little autistic guy in the world who is in a mainstream kindergarten class: the teacher does his 1:1 reading, so I work with another small group. Also, the teacher works with the assumption that he will go with the flow for at least part of the day and gives me busy work to do a few minutes at a time. I accompany to specials and escort to speech & Occupational Therapist (OT). I return to the class and act as a classroom aide at those times. His regular aide only requests me because he's familiar and comfortable with me.

 

[Shari]

Did the principal make it sound like he was doing anything out of the ordinary? Because in most schools what he’s doing is just part of the normal job description, whether it’s written into the IEP or not. Our elementary school has a high population of sped and behaviorally challenged kids and all four principals we’ve had have done this same role of assisting when a child is on the verge of not being able to handle the classroom or staff can’t handle them. Sometimes the child sits quietly in their office, sometimes the principal is doing some serious talking with them, occasionally he/she is physically restraining the child, or giving directions to other staff. I assure you, the position he’s put himself into is not at all unusual—he’s just doing what is expected with his job.

Yes, actually. I think, anyway. He wants to be the backup safe person when SpEd is gone. He wants Wee to come to him long before Wee has lost it, gosh, not sure how else to explain it. But he wants to do very passive things to re-direct Wee - sitting calmly, reading a story book to Wee, sitting and chatting, etc.

When Wee left the gym class, he was not escalated at all - but he knew it was coming and he had to get out, and was doin exactly what he was expected to do - go to SpEd immediately. And the principal physically prevented that, thus resulting in the meltdown that ended up being a 5 day suspension. All he would have had to done, was walk with Wee! Or follow Wee.

This latest incident, Wee was head-banging. Tons of autistic kids do this. Physically grabbing a kid who's at this point is asking for it...and Wee will almost always respond to a redirection that involves physical activity (which, by the way, is written into the IEP - several examples of options are.)

I guess what I'm saying... he wants to have the rapport with Wee that the SpEd does, yet won't admit to or learn from his own short-comings in doing so. Does that make more sense?

 

[Shari]

Question...I have been thinking...
What might "homebound", in this situation mean? Does that mean I'll be responsible for finding someone to watch him all day while a tutor shows up?

I've had 6 lovely hours driving with everyone else asleep to think. And my mind just goes wild. Not even home and already the stress returns. Ugh.

I think I will give them husband's phone number and tell them to call him...collectively, they can figure it out. I'm so sick of this.

TM, will you come para here?

Also...Wee had a calm moment today and said something about Mallory and not wanting to go back to school. I asked him what he thought would make school better. He said if Mallory wasn't there anymore. OR if he was just alone.

 

[SRL]

Question...I have been thinking...
What might "homebound", in this situation mean? Does that mean I'll be responsible for finding someone to watch him all day while a tutor shows up? .

Usually in cases where a young student is out because of discipline related problems, it's the parent or close relative that would be home with the child. The school would probably be sending in a homebound instructor that doesn't know Wee at all and it would be important to have someone there who can handle him.

Homebound should only be considered as a short-term solution with a timeline and plan to transition back into an appropriate setting as it usually violates FAPE, LRE, and requires rewriting the IEP. (Take a look at Wee's IEP now, and see if his goals could be met on homebound --usually they can't). In difficult cases it's important to have someone who knows Special Education law involved on the planning.

This court case talks about these issues beginning on page 16.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/law/caselaw/IL_dist93_johnf_00_10.pdf