Plastic Bubble Syndrome

[AnnieO]

Oh, there were PLENTY of predators out there.

Until age 10, Dad or Mom (usually Dad) walked me to the bus stop. See, I was a little blonde in a border town... Yeah, like that.

Anyone who took me, though, wouldn't have gotten far. I was a biter. And man, could I scream.

Since I went to school across town, I knew my address and parent's numbers, yada yada, early on.

I didn't play unsupervised except in the back yard (10-ft stone fence...) till I was about 10.

But... Here's the thing. Communication is so much more instant now. Amber Alerts are awesome, but by the time the 6 o'clock news came on, a kid could be 5 states away. TV stopped at 9 PM - they'd play the national anthem, then the test pattern, then snow. So... We didn't find out unless someone called us - which means we would have been personally connected. Now? We're ALL personally connected to all these kids we never meet, and many of whom we never know if they're returned or not. Cause the news likes to report the bad...

 

[DammitJanet]

Well my kids did play outside. If I had tried to keep my younger two cooped up inside my house all day long and parked in front of a TV all day, they would probably have gone stark raving mad. When they werent in school, I opened the door and pointed out. They just had to check in periodically. Normally they wandered in and out when hungry or thirsty. They would be riding their bikes, playing in the woods making forts or just climbing trees, fishing, walking to friends houses, gosh...I dont know. They were just out there. And this was at relatively young ages.

The first place we lived here in NC, I could let them out in the yard at 4 and 6 to play all day long alone. Now I was right inside the house and could see them from every window in the very small house but there was a big yard with trees, horses, a swing set, our dog, their bikes, tons of outside toys.

 

[muttmeister]

That is one of the few joys of living in a small town. Not that something bad couldn't happen here, but it almost never does. I think part of it is, if you're in a big city and see a kid outside, the kid is somebody you probably don't know and have no connection to. Here, you know the kid, their parents, their grandparents, and their dogs and cats. You're more likely to know if something is "off."

This town has barely 200 people. My kids played outside every day. Of course, being the difficult children they are, if somebody had tried to take them it would have probably been like O. Henry's "Ransom of Red Chief." LOL

I grew in a town less than half this size. We played outside all day too. Back then, I'm not sure anybody even thought about somebody snatching us. Of course that was in the old days about the time they invented dirt, but still....
I feel sorry for kids now who have to be under some adult's gaze all day every day. I understand the need for it but, still, it's really not good for the kids.

 

[tiredmommy]

Duckie and her buddy on the block play outside too, although there are some restrictions right now. There was a strange door-to-door salesman in the neighborhood last week so they must be in our yard or her friend's yard and the parents know where they are. A parent will be outside (reading, gardening, etc) if they want to play outside or ride bikes. Want to go for a walk around the block? Take mom's cell phone just in case. They know the drill. I let her walk to corner for the bus, but watch from our porch (she doesn't want to be a dweeb, ya know!). She already knows it's important to be where she says she will be because it's frightening to her parents to think she's missing.

FWIW, a neighbor saw a man following me from school way back in 1973. Turns out he was a child predator fresh out on parole. Vigilant neighbors help to keep kids safe.

 

[AnnieO]

Vigilant neighbors help to keep kids safe.

That's when you have neighbors that actually care.

We have: T, next door. 3 kids - 22, 18 and 12; she watches out when she can, but she has health issues AND works. One door down from her, is D, who has grandkids over every month or so. He's a friendly drunk, but really nice. Mr. P, end of the block, older, almost never outside, but waves when he is. 2 college kids & their GFs, nice but never home. B&A, across the street, with their difficult children - 9 and 7 - the neighborhood terrorists - and A screams at the neighborhood kids when adults aren't visible (but you can hear her on a summer day when you're inside with A/C on, doors closes, and the katydids humming). She won't yell at adults, won't even face us. Next is J, and his decent son, about 17, and 2 young-adult daughters known together as the town s***s. He called the cops on husband when husband parked the trailer in our yard on the gravel - because he was having trouble backing out of his driveway (though his driveway isn't across from our yard...?). Cops came out, looked, told him to deal. Funny, his daughters' friends had no problem parking IN THE YARD - NOT on the gravel - till husband talked to the son and said, look, I'm not calling the cops unless I have to, but...

So we have one neighbor who's ever outside. And she's the one with health issues. I'll watch from the kitchen window sometimes, but when they're in our back yard it's not really a problem.

 

[Shari]

Sorry, I haven't read all the responses, but I agree totally. We are protecting our kids to their own detriment. And natural selection does serve a purpose, tho I don't like to think about it.

Diane Henry, a very celebrated Occupational Therapist (OT), also contends that not allowing our children to experience some of these things is affecting their development and behavior. She maintains that many things provide sensory input that help develop the brain.

 

[Hound dog]

That's when you have neighbors that actually care.

Yup. For sure.

I was always outside with my kids. I didn't hover, I did my own thing, but they were within my sights or shouting distance most of the time. There were many a time I bit my tongue and let them suffer natural consequences instead of correcting them.

I also never went on the defensive if someone came and told me my kid did such and such. I'd get the kid side of the story (I can still always tell when they're lying to me) but oh man, would they get it. But parents today too many live with their heads in the sand and of course their kids are perfect angels and would never do anything wrong so if god forbid you approach them they totally go off on you. ugh