Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
played like an idiot
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar II" data-source="post: 104940" data-attributes="member: 4391"><p>Sending hugs, carolanne.</p><p></p><p>Beware of trangulation. Emphasis can shift so easily from the issue of the drug-using child's behaviors to frustration with the marriage partner. The kids eat up on this, because they get to play victim to the mean, over-reactive parent.</p><p></p><p>Whatever you and your husband decide, get on the same page with each other. </p><p></p><p>Now might be a good time to go for coffee somewhere and carve out a plan for how you will both proceed if your child's behavior continues.</p><p></p><p>Let this incident, and the anger attending it, go.</p><p></p><p>Nothing can change what has already occurred.</p><p></p><p>Prepare for the next time now.</p><p></p><p>Be proactive.</p><p></p><p>husband should not have said what he said about it being okay for you to leave but that you should not take the baby.</p><p></p><p>This tells me he is stressed and defending a position he may not really believe in because he does not know how else to respond.</p><p></p><p>When we parents are at each other's throats, that is a sign that the child has what he or she has been aiming for ~ chaos in the home so the wrong behavior cannot be properly addressed.</p><p></p><p>You need to create a united front with your husband now. The only way to do that is to nurture your relationship.</p><p></p><p>If this child is going to choose this kind of behavior, you will need to come up with a plan for how to react in the future.</p><p></p><p>Let the anger go.</p><p></p><p>Reach out to your husband.</p><p></p><p>Get away from the house if you can do it.</p><p></p><p>It is just as Fran posted on another thread: the mother is the spindle around which the family comes together.</p><p></p><p>husband wants you to be happy. He wants you not to be angry with him, because he did not do this.</p><p></p><p>Most husband's just want peace in the house, and will take whatever choice will give them that at the moment.</p><p></p><p>Nurture your relationship with him now, and the rest will fall into place.</p><p></p><p>Make a decision to let the anger go.</p><p></p><p>Set rules and consequences for future behaviors from this child.</p><p>Discuss them with your husband once your relationship has stabilized again.</p><p></p><p>Kids become masters at triangulation once they begin using.</p><p></p><p>You and your husband need to stay one step ahead of her.</p><p></p><p>What a crummy morning you have had!</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar II, post: 104940, member: 4391"] Sending hugs, carolanne. Beware of trangulation. Emphasis can shift so easily from the issue of the drug-using child's behaviors to frustration with the marriage partner. The kids eat up on this, because they get to play victim to the mean, over-reactive parent. Whatever you and your husband decide, get on the same page with each other. Now might be a good time to go for coffee somewhere and carve out a plan for how you will both proceed if your child's behavior continues. Let this incident, and the anger attending it, go. Nothing can change what has already occurred. Prepare for the next time now. Be proactive. husband should not have said what he said about it being okay for you to leave but that you should not take the baby. This tells me he is stressed and defending a position he may not really believe in because he does not know how else to respond. When we parents are at each other's throats, that is a sign that the child has what he or she has been aiming for ~ chaos in the home so the wrong behavior cannot be properly addressed. You need to create a united front with your husband now. The only way to do that is to nurture your relationship. If this child is going to choose this kind of behavior, you will need to come up with a plan for how to react in the future. Let the anger go. Reach out to your husband. Get away from the house if you can do it. It is just as Fran posted on another thread: the mother is the spindle around which the family comes together. husband wants you to be happy. He wants you not to be angry with him, because he did not do this. Most husband's just want peace in the house, and will take whatever choice will give them that at the moment. Nurture your relationship with him now, and the rest will fall into place. Make a decision to let the anger go. Set rules and consequences for future behaviors from this child. Discuss them with your husband once your relationship has stabilized again. Kids become masters at triangulation once they begin using. You and your husband need to stay one step ahead of her. What a crummy morning you have had! Barbara [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
played like an idiot
Top