Playground Behaviour

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by yayita25, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. yayita25

    yayita25 New Member

    I am sooooooo!!!!! Fed up with my difficult child's school I want to scream

    Eveyone at this school knows about my difficult child and her impulsivity and I know that other children will feed off off this or push difficult child's buttons to get a rise out of it or just to get her in trouble!!!! But what gets me soooooo mad are the Playground Supervisors they have just plainly given up they do not want to even ask what is going on they just give difficult child the darn Red Tickets without even asking what happened?????

    Any how today difficult child brought home a pricipal referral for getting 5 playgrond tickets the notes states that difficult child admitted to throwing sand and using a stick to scratch blank's leg and that she threw sand because she did not want the boys to be around she also CLAIMS she thinks she heard them say a bad thing but cannot remember. signed the Principal

    When I question difficult child she told me that she was playng in the sand box and two boys asked what she was doing and since she does not want to get in trouble she did not answer then they called her a bad word and she threw sand at them and they ran away then this girl named BLANK came and started stomping on her sand creation difficult child says she was holding a twig and she was pushing Blanks leg away to stop her but Blank continued then when blank had enough she ran to a supervisor and told on her!!!!!!
    Supervisor came over and sent difficult child to principal difficult child said she told the principal everything and the principal told her she had made the wrong chioces and she would not be allowed on play ground for 3 days.

    I know what you are thinking difficult child did make wrong choices but she is taunted so much where are the supervisors when she is being taunted!!!!!!

    Anyhow 3 weeks ago my difficult child got a good ticket for picking up sweaters that kids take off at recess and throw on the floor difficult child picked them up and put them in a bin where supervisors are soppose to put them in if left on the floor. Well two days later difficult child does this again hopeing to earn a good ticket well a boy who had left jacket on floor went and told supervisor difficult child took his jacket and would not give it back at the same time difficult child was walking with several jackets on her arm heading toward the jacket bin the supervisor approached her SNATCHED them from her arm threw them on the floor and Yelled at difficult child to sit on the bench for the rest of the recess!!!!! I know this is how it happened because anoher supervisor called a told me how it happened before difficult child told me and when I question difficult child it was the same story.

    Well I called the principal and she heard me then said she would get back to me. Well the vice principal called me back and said that the supervisor did not snatched but just removed the jackets from difficult child and told difficult child to go and sit and that this supervisor has been an employee of this school for so many years they cannot beleive she did this. I told her that her supervisor was human and capable of making mistakes and that if she could please ask the other supervisors about this situation and that difficult child always tells the truth even if she gets into trouble and I believe my difficult child... And I do not want to confuse difficult child about how she can ern this good tickets.

    The vice principal said she would get more info and get back to me but has not brought it up again.
    I have personally witnessed the supervisors chatting with each other and not supervising the kids they rely on the kids to tell on each other and if they get hurt by another child they have to bring the child that hurt them to the supervisors so that they can give them a reprimand. Well with the attention span my difficult child has she couldn't describe which one it was so she gets pushed around alot and when she gets fed up she strikes then she is in trouble!!!!

    I am so fed up I don't know what else to do it breaks my heart when difficult child tells me she tries but she always gets in trouble!!!!

    Well I wrote a note on the Principal referral since I had to sign and return but really I am so tired of this situation I don't even know what else to tell th principal to make her understand that these supervisors need to rotate more and aks a bit more before handing out the bad tickets!!!!!!

    Thanks for reading I needed to rant!!!!!!!!!

  2. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Oh hun...that sounds SO frustrating! {{{{hugs}}}}
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    How frustrating for all concerned. Unstructured times (like recess & gym) were always the worst for kt & wm.

    It sounds like you may need to meet with all concerned to clear up this matter.

    Does difficult child have an IEP or a BIP? Would it help to find her a playground buddy?

    I hope tomorrow is a better day at school.
  4. yayita25

    yayita25 New Member

    Thanks for the hugs Alisonlg

    Timerlady what is a playground buddy???? Thanks for the concern.
  5. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style="color: #6600CC"> well my first thought was why in the he*ll do they have a sandbox on an elementary school playground. yuck....they are filthy & do nothing but cause trouble.

    when linda says playground buddy she means some other child....not known for getting in trouble....who can buddy up with-difficult child & hopefully help her not be so impulsive....and it would provide a witness to these goings~on.

    ODD s rarely a stand alone diagnosis. has your daughter been evaluated for ADHD &/or other dxs. any family history of disorders? i would strongly recommend that you have her evaluated ~~~ independently as well as by the school. with-o such evaluations you cannot request a behavior plan nor any other assitance.

    how is difficult child's behavior in other venues....home/in the neighborhood/daycare?? is the behavior just in school?

    </span> </span> </span>
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Haven't seen you for a while, yayita.

    We had problems like this with difficult child 3. The school was slack, frankly, and the staff were never going to change. I managed to get some extra support funding for playground supervision, they hired an aide specifically for that job. While he had this in place a VAST amount of problem behaviours simply stopped, his anxiety went down and behaviour improved. Also, bullies were being caught in the act.

    Unfortunately, i was not able to get it to continue, since the District office were sure that teacher supervision in future would be enough. it never was.

    There was a time when difficult child 3 did have a playground buddy though. It was nothing put in place formally, just another kid who liked difficult child 3 and seemed to understand him. This buddy would stick up for difficult child 3, would be a witness when difficult child 3 was not believed and it was really helpful. Unfortunately they moved away and difficult child 3 was alone again.

    Eventually we left the school. You can't change them. We were able to find another school about half an hour's drive away which had good playground supervision and a strict policy in dealing with bullies.

    Yayita, she sounds so much like difficult child 3 in her social inappropriateness. Have you done the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test on her, from If she scores as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in that it would explain a lot. It would also explain why she keeps getting picked on by teachers as well as students and why she is not believed (even though she is truthful). it would also explain why she is so truthful (a very good trait but not good for survival in the playground).

    Although the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test is not diagnostic you can print it out and take it to the specialist for his opinion. THAT can be diagnostic. And such a diagnosis SHOULD get the school staff being a bit easier on her.

    Do let us know how you get on with it all.

  7. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Did you ask if the two boys got red tickets for saying something inappropriate to your daughter? I don't understand why they have red tickets. I work lunchtime at an elementary school with 1st, 2nd, & 3rd graders. We give the children time outs during recess.

    If the child does something wrong, we try to explain about feelings and have "I'm sorry" said. If it happens again soon, we give the child a 15 minute time out. Next offense would be a 30 minute (whole recess). The teacher gets told next, who then talks to the child. We try again for a couple of times and then the teacher talks to the parent. If it continues from there, they have to have a 15 minute time out with the principal during recess. Then it goes to 30 minutes.

    When dealing with an impulsive child, we always look for buttons being pushed. We ask many questions. We make sure that if we find out Child A set off Child Impulsive, that Child A also gets the exact time out. Child Impulsive is told that they are getting the time out for not getting an adult when they had a problem. We put more emphasis on getting an adult than on the reaction, unless it's a real bad reaction.
  8. yayita25

    yayita25 New Member

    Thanks everyone I had a dental appointment and could not post. :bravo:

    I will try to be quick I have to go get the kids from school.

    Currently my difficult child was tested for ADHD and she is on a 10 day Concerta (27mg) trial, difficult child does have an IEP and had FBA done. In class difficult child is fine unless she is writing class (defiant will not do her work 40% of the time) which I believe her speech impediment contributes to this because she has a hard time spelling using sounds.

    At home she is compliant with everything that is expected of her, homework, bath time, chores, dinner time she has her occasional fight with easy child brother but nothing out of the ordinary.

    The supervisors at the school are really dropping the ball here!!!
    I recently found out through other parents that last year during am recess a child threw a ball out of the school yard the yard is protected by a pretty tall fence well the children ran to the fence and egged on another child to climb the fence run across a street to get the ball the supervisors did not noticed the child climbing the fence they noticed him when he was climbing back in!!!!! This was a FIRST Grader anyhow I spoke to the mom of this child and she said her son was expelled for two days and she was told she was lucky the school did not call the police because this was criminal conduct????? WHAT ABOUT THE SUPERVISORS!!!! :nonono:

    Well The Principal called me today I have an 8:30 meeting with her I want to go over ideas of how to help my difficult child have a much better playground experience,,,,

    Any Ideas form you all are more than welcome thankyou. :salute:
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    My difficult child has the same problem. Everything is always his fault. Well, most of the time it is his fault, but he does tell me what hapens, he is if anything overly truthful.

    he does get teased quite a bit. He has hives, and is staying home so he does not beat someone up for making fun of him, he is quite red and bumpy.
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Since she has an IEP and BIP maybe you could get an aid to watch her. The principal will say that what is in place is just fine, but then difficult child wouldn't be getting in trouble would she. Even if the stupid supervisors would talk standing next to difficult child it would help. Fine ignore the rest of the kids, but do your ignoring within earshot of my kid. Sorry I'm a bit mad. Unstructured time can be so scary for kids.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid were getting taunted on the playground, I'd demand an aide for him and remind them that if my child is damaged physically or emotionally they are responsible. And I'd get the aide. Playground supervisors have no idea how to handle "different" kids. My sister is a playground supervisor and she sees all "different" kids as troublemakers with weird parents. She has no training with kids other than she's a mother. I doubt any of the supervisors on your child's playground know diddly about your child. I hope you get this resolved. It bothers me when "different" kids are egged on and then THEY get into trouble.
  12. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MidwestMom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid were getting taunted on the playground, I'd demand an aide for him and remind them that if my child is damaged physically or emotionally they are responsible. And I'd get the aide. Playground supervisors have no idea how to handle "different" kids. My sister is a playground supervisor and she sees all "different" kids as troublemakers with weird parents. She has no training with kids other than she's a mother. I doubt any of the supervisors on your child's playground know diddly about your child. I hope you get this resolved. It bothers me when "different" kids are egged on and then THEY get into trouble. </div></div>

    I was a playground supervisor for many years, I know I'm not the norm because of my own kids, but when I was, I DID handle (and still do) them differently to a great degree and gave them a lot more slack. Yes, I know that other kids can hassle them. And I give those kids the business. About a month ago I had to deal with a nasty little stinker who kept teasing, and hassling this one student who is a very sensitive difficult child and had a huge meltdown while in my library. Let me tell you, I LET THE LITTLE STINKER HAVE IT. Plus, I sent him to the office and they sent him home. I will not tolerate teasing, and cruelty, under any circumstances and I let the students know it under no uncertain terms. I want my students to feel the library is the ONE place they can come and they are safe and can breath easy knowning I will swoop down on anyone that attempts to disturb that.
  13. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Since your child has an IEP, you might want to request that the people on the playground be made aware of it and how to handle difficult child. By us, legally the school can't tell us about a child's IEP, etc. unless the parent okays it. Normally we get around it by asking the teacher or principal what they find works for them when they have such & such a problem with the child. Also, anyone who has kids with allergies should know that the people supervising them at lunch just might not be aware of the allergy because of the same reason! Even kids with severe asthma, etc. might not be known.
  14. yayita25

    yayita25 New Member

    Well I had the meeting this morning and the principal came at me with: At this age difficult child should be learning how to make the correct choices we can understand that difficult child did not want to leave her sand creation to tell on the boys but all other kids this age are facing the same choices and she like them must learn to make the right choices as for the girl who accused difficult child of scatching her leg with a stick she said she had told difficult child not to throw sand then the girl came over and stepped on difficult child's creation and that is how THAT happened but if difficult child had not thrown sand in the first place this would not have happened!!!

    I was %^&%*&&^@##56 :grrr:inside but I kept my cool and responded WHERE were the supervisors????? Response : We have a very good staff they watch 900 students and have never had any big incidents happen in our school I think that speaks for how good our staff is! :surprise:

    My response So you are of the people who think that not until a child drowns will we cover the well???? And I can understand that you have had your staff for many years and that does explain how these habits have formed I have seen your tenure staff chit chat together and not cirulate and if they have so many students that is an even greater reason why they should be moving more instead of relying on the kids to tell on each other I would expect that since they have been here for so long they have experience with kids like my difficult child and they know that they are prone to getting bullied more than the easy child's ?? I then brought up the idea of an aide for difficult child for her recess schedule. :hammer:

    She then says that my difficult child is doing sooooo much better than the last 2 years and she has really florished and that the playground behaviour is 80% better than last year in fact difficult child is only getting in trouble at the play ground maybe only at the most 2 times every 15 days :nonono: and she knows difficult child does not qualify for an aide and difficult child is extremly smart and she just doesn't see how an aide can get assigned to difficult child.

    I then brought up the buddy system the teacher said that she could get that going asap then I brought up the supervisors getting more info and developing a more nurturing relationship with difficult child (maybe this will get difficult child to go to them more when bullied)the principal agreed and said she would speak to them and talk to them about circulating more.

    There was alot more back and forth about the supervisors but she backed off when I brought up the incident aabout the boy who left the play ground to fetch the ball!!! She did not know I knew about it and she aid she would be talking to her supervisors again.

    Sorry this is long thank you all for your words of wisdom
  15. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My response So you are of the people who think that not until a child drowns will we cover the well???? </div></div>

    Excellent response. The Principal is going to support the staff, no matter what, to a parent. Frankly, even if they are incompetent.

    One of my biggest pet peeves, when I was a supervisor, was my co-workers chit-chatting. There were six of us, and three or four of them standing in a group yakking away. :nonono:

    I don't know how many times I mentioned it to the principal. It also put me outside their little clique. Their common thread being that they like to moan and complain about their husbands to each other. I liked watching them scatter whenever the principal would come out to the playground.
  16. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Do you have a PTA or PTO, etc? If you do and are a member, you could attend a meeting and ask about ratio of supervisors to kids or is the play area broken down into areas for supervisors to watch. Just bring it up nicely under "new business". Other parents probably would join in since it can be a safety issue.

    We spread our aides around the perimeters of the playground, one in the middle to oversee games, & one walking around the whole playground. We don't have a sandbox, we have a big slide. One of the perimeter aides stands by the slide and mainly oversees the slide. Maybe suggest having someone stand by the sandbox.

    Are there older kids on the playground that can volunteer to be playground helpers? We use the 5th graders. They normally are eating when we are on the playground. The principal has a rotating schedule of blocks of 6 fifth graders. They are the 1st to get their lunch, they eat, and come right outside to volunteer to referee games, etc. for us. The younger kids love it & listen better to the older peers. The 5th graders like it because they have someone looking up to them. School counselor likes it because it builds self esteem within the 5th graders.
  17. yayita25

    yayita25 New Member


    This is exactly a major issue at this school Supervisors CHIT CHATTING not all of them but enough of them that just allows kids to fend for themselves and difficult child's that do not have the capacity to run and tell get blamed the most!!! :crying:

    Recess is broken down into grades my difficult child is in 2nd grade and her recess is shared with 3rd grade I did ask at the meeting about having the Peace Patrol( 5th and 6th graders that patrol playgrond) help out but the principal reminded me that these grades do not share the playground and 3rd grade is to young for Peace Patrol duties. :rolleyes:

    I will bring this up to the PTA but to be honest our PTA seems to have there own clique they come off like those popular High School students they are too cool to mingle with us regular parents some of them are related to the supervisors and one of the supervisors in fact the one who snatched the jackets from difficult child owns a restaurant and the PTA and Principal usually hold their lunch meeting there with a nice discount!!! :grrr:

    But I will try .

    Thanks for your support :thumbsup: