Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Please Advise-before my son gets home!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 31774" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>B,</p><p></p><p>I totally agree with DDD about not yanking everything before really thinking - in other words, don't just react. Give it some serious thought.</p><p></p><p>At 15, it's not unusual for boys to have "girlie" stuff around be interested in music that their parents abhore. That's just typical teen stuff. Now, the suicidal thoughts next to a torn up girl's picture would definately be cause for concern and something I would speak to the doctor about.</p><p></p><p>I believe, were I in your shoes, I would approach it this way....when my son returned home, I would sit down calmly (once husband is home as well-don't approach him until you are a united front) and let him know that I found the music, the tapes and the writings. Make sure he understands that you did not do this to snoop, but were left no choice but to check up on him because of past behaviors. Reiterate again the house rules regarding music. Let him know that you understand his interest in girls, but in your opinion, this is humilating and degrading to woman and anything of this sort is not allowed in your home. Period. Advise him that you are very concerned regarding the writing. You understand disappointment and deep saddness and you love him and are concerned about him. You have scheduled an appointment at the docs for the three of you tomorrow and you will discuss it further then. For tonight however, there will be no tv on in his room. If he wants to watch tv, he does so with family tvs. End of discussion - no more conversation. Period. Do not allow him to drag you into an argument about anything. Make sure he understands the conversation is over. Most importantly, stay calm and focused - no blame, no guilt, no punishment other than his room tv stays off for the night.</p><p></p><p>If he wants to discuss it further, let him know that you are not ready to dwelve deeper, you are upset and worried and you will all speak again tomorrow. Delay more conversation for the doctor's office.</p><p></p><p>I think it is important, if your son is truly in a depressed state right now, to not dump blame and guilt on him. The majority of what he's done is not abnormal teen behavior (with the exception of the writing - although teen age love can be a real bummer).</p><p></p><p>Stay strong. Again, this is only my opinion and what I would do were I in your place. I hope this evening goes well and that you are able to find some action plan with the doctor. Please keep us informed.</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 31774, member: 805"] B, I totally agree with DDD about not yanking everything before really thinking - in other words, don't just react. Give it some serious thought. At 15, it's not unusual for boys to have "girlie" stuff around be interested in music that their parents abhore. That's just typical teen stuff. Now, the suicidal thoughts next to a torn up girl's picture would definately be cause for concern and something I would speak to the doctor about. I believe, were I in your shoes, I would approach it this way....when my son returned home, I would sit down calmly (once husband is home as well-don't approach him until you are a united front) and let him know that I found the music, the tapes and the writings. Make sure he understands that you did not do this to snoop, but were left no choice but to check up on him because of past behaviors. Reiterate again the house rules regarding music. Let him know that you understand his interest in girls, but in your opinion, this is humilating and degrading to woman and anything of this sort is not allowed in your home. Period. Advise him that you are very concerned regarding the writing. You understand disappointment and deep saddness and you love him and are concerned about him. You have scheduled an appointment at the docs for the three of you tomorrow and you will discuss it further then. For tonight however, there will be no tv on in his room. If he wants to watch tv, he does so with family tvs. End of discussion - no more conversation. Period. Do not allow him to drag you into an argument about anything. Make sure he understands the conversation is over. Most importantly, stay calm and focused - no blame, no guilt, no punishment other than his room tv stays off for the night. If he wants to discuss it further, let him know that you are not ready to dwelve deeper, you are upset and worried and you will all speak again tomorrow. Delay more conversation for the doctor's office. I think it is important, if your son is truly in a depressed state right now, to not dump blame and guilt on him. The majority of what he's done is not abnormal teen behavior (with the exception of the writing - although teen age love can be a real bummer). Stay strong. Again, this is only my opinion and what I would do were I in your place. I hope this evening goes well and that you are able to find some action plan with the doctor. Please keep us informed. Sharon [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Please Advise-before my son gets home!
Top