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Please Help, 25yo brother stealing from family
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<blockquote data-quote="Cheese" data-source="post: 545009" data-attributes="member: 15003"><p>Thank you for all your kind words and helpful advice. My post is a little delayed as more drama has unfolded. My brother is now living with my parents and I in the basement because he is just flat out broke. He didn't choose to live here. He just didn't have any other option. No food, no money, no car. He even texted my mother asking her to buy poppy seeds for him. You know he's desperate if he's asking his own mother to fuel his addiction.</p><p></p><p>Before this all escalated, I would have been fine with him moving back home, but now I'm totally scared. I've been booby trapping my stuff to see if he's been in it, looking for ways to lock all my items up. We've hidden all our keys. I don't even feel comfortable with him outside alone with my dogs. I was hoping for him to stay a few days and then go get treatment, but he's being his stubborn, cold self. He would not go back to his apartment and help my mother clean it up. He's not taken any actions to help himself or us. He took a whole bottle of wine from our fridge and drank it all last night. Whenever he sees me, he acts like nothing is wrong.</p><p></p><p>I recently bought a car too, so me moving out isn't going to work either. Although, I've most certainly been looking and analyzing my finances to see if I could make it work. I just can't live like this anymore.</p><p></p><p>I have talked to my parents and told them that I'm just done. If they need help or someone to talk to, I'm there for them, but I've offered all I could for my brother, and he's done nothing. Nothing for himself and nothing for me. I have nothing left to give, so I'm done with him. Until he starts acting like the adult he claims to be, I will have nothing to do with him. His words mean nothing. I need to see him actually doing something good for me to change my stance. I told them my stance on calling the cops if he steals from me again. I AM FIRM on that. He's stolen THOUSANDS of dollars from my parents, and they never reported him. He only stole a handful of cash from me. And despite several talks telling him that if he needs help money wise to just ask, he still steals. It's clear that there's nothing we can do to teach him that stealing is not okay. He needs a firm smack of reality to stop him at this point.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to see him in jail or on the streets, but I can't keep living a life full of tears for something that's not my fault. I told my dad the same. I told him that he and my mother need to at least tell my brother that if he is not taking any proactive steps towards getting help, whatever he chooses, then he can not live at home. I doubt he'd believe it as my parents are so loving and nice, but crying every day is not healthy, and my parents are at the end of their ropes too. They have to keep taking time off from work to help him, but helping him involves money, money that they can only get from work. They just can't win. My mother just went over to her brother's house to talk to him and his wife about all that's going on. She just can't handle it on her own and despite trying to keep the drama on the inside, she decided she needed some help, which I'm glad she did. Even if her brother can't help much, at least she's got someone to talk to other than me. I keep telling my parents that they might benefit from talking to a therapist of sorts, if only to perhaps get some extra thoughts on how to deal with the situation, but it all comes back to time and money. They've taken so much time off from work it's hard to take any more time off and therapists cost money in addition to the money they might spend on my brother if he actually does get some sort of treatment.</p><p></p><p>My mother has a doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow for my brother, and she is supposed to drive him there. Every single time something like this is scheduled, he always backs out at the last second, so we have no idea what to expect tomorrow....well, probably more drama. My dad keeps saying there's something not right with my brother mentally. He says whenever he talks to him, he's just cold, never reacts to my mother crying in front of him. That stuff just scares me. We just need a direction to go, and hopefully come Monday, we'll have one.</p><p></p><p>Again, thank you all for replying and reading this post. These things are so depressing.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cheese, post: 545009, member: 15003"] Thank you for all your kind words and helpful advice. My post is a little delayed as more drama has unfolded. My brother is now living with my parents and I in the basement because he is just flat out broke. He didn't choose to live here. He just didn't have any other option. No food, no money, no car. He even texted my mother asking her to buy poppy seeds for him. You know he's desperate if he's asking his own mother to fuel his addiction. Before this all escalated, I would have been fine with him moving back home, but now I'm totally scared. I've been booby trapping my stuff to see if he's been in it, looking for ways to lock all my items up. We've hidden all our keys. I don't even feel comfortable with him outside alone with my dogs. I was hoping for him to stay a few days and then go get treatment, but he's being his stubborn, cold self. He would not go back to his apartment and help my mother clean it up. He's not taken any actions to help himself or us. He took a whole bottle of wine from our fridge and drank it all last night. Whenever he sees me, he acts like nothing is wrong. I recently bought a car too, so me moving out isn't going to work either. Although, I've most certainly been looking and analyzing my finances to see if I could make it work. I just can't live like this anymore. I have talked to my parents and told them that I'm just done. If they need help or someone to talk to, I'm there for them, but I've offered all I could for my brother, and he's done nothing. Nothing for himself and nothing for me. I have nothing left to give, so I'm done with him. Until he starts acting like the adult he claims to be, I will have nothing to do with him. His words mean nothing. I need to see him actually doing something good for me to change my stance. I told them my stance on calling the cops if he steals from me again. I AM FIRM on that. He's stolen THOUSANDS of dollars from my parents, and they never reported him. He only stole a handful of cash from me. And despite several talks telling him that if he needs help money wise to just ask, he still steals. It's clear that there's nothing we can do to teach him that stealing is not okay. He needs a firm smack of reality to stop him at this point. I don't want to see him in jail or on the streets, but I can't keep living a life full of tears for something that's not my fault. I told my dad the same. I told him that he and my mother need to at least tell my brother that if he is not taking any proactive steps towards getting help, whatever he chooses, then he can not live at home. I doubt he'd believe it as my parents are so loving and nice, but crying every day is not healthy, and my parents are at the end of their ropes too. They have to keep taking time off from work to help him, but helping him involves money, money that they can only get from work. They just can't win. My mother just went over to her brother's house to talk to him and his wife about all that's going on. She just can't handle it on her own and despite trying to keep the drama on the inside, she decided she needed some help, which I'm glad she did. Even if her brother can't help much, at least she's got someone to talk to other than me. I keep telling my parents that they might benefit from talking to a therapist of sorts, if only to perhaps get some extra thoughts on how to deal with the situation, but it all comes back to time and money. They've taken so much time off from work it's hard to take any more time off and therapists cost money in addition to the money they might spend on my brother if he actually does get some sort of treatment. My mother has a doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow for my brother, and she is supposed to drive him there. Every single time something like this is scheduled, he always backs out at the last second, so we have no idea what to expect tomorrow....well, probably more drama. My dad keeps saying there's something not right with my brother mentally. He says whenever he talks to him, he's just cold, never reacts to my mother crying in front of him. That stuff just scares me. We just need a direction to go, and hopefully come Monday, we'll have one. Again, thank you all for replying and reading this post. These things are so depressing.:sigh: [/QUOTE]
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