As is our custom, we have invited difficult child's bmom, grandmother, and 1/2 brother to his birthday party. difficult child doesn't want a huge party--just a sushi dinner. So we will sit at the hibachi table, which is pretty good entertainment. I called the biograndmother a cpl wks ago, and she told me some very strange things. First, she said that her daughter, (difficult child's bmom) had never told the other, older son, D, that difficult child is his half brother. Huh? difficult child has introduced him as his brother at other parties and no one batted an eyelash. She also said that bmom won't come because Fridays at dinnertime are awful and she isn't really into the birthday thing with-difficult child anyway. Huh? They jumped and yelled about an open adoption and now they don't want to deal with-it? Bmom has missed several of difficult child's bdays and of course, it really hurts difficult child. The only benefit here is that difficult child can figure out for himself that she's a flake and he doesn't fantacize any more about the perfect like he would have had with-her. Today, bmom called for directions to the restaurant and said that she is coming for sure. Woo hoo! I knew better than to take it from the grandmother. Which is why I called bmom. I mean, the grandmother shouldn't speak for her anyway. Very strange. We chatted a bit, and she asked about school. I told her that difficult child was in a public school and it didn't work out at the private school. He missed a lot of days, never turned in his homework, and hated the rules. She was surprised, and said that her son was very into pleasing people, and very affected by opinions. "Maybe it's a phase that difficult child is going through," she said. Yeah, like, from birth. I think that bio grandmother is Aspie. She is very bossy and totally unaware of and unconcerned with-what other people think of her. She still bosses around bmom, when bmom is 34 yrs old. Bgrandmother once told me that her psychiatrist told her that she's a know-it-all. (Ya think?) Bmom asked if difficult child wasn't into having her at his parties, that he's going through a stage where it's not cool to have her there. I told her no, he loves having you there. I know she means that it's because they don't communicate much. But when you're with-a kid, you have to be the conversation initiator. Bmom just sits there and expects difficult child to start a conversation. You can't do that with-someone you only come into contact with-once a yr! So of course, husband and I do as much as we can to keep things going. It's hard work. Anyway, the older difficult child gets, the more his diagnosis will become apparent, and someone is going to say something. I just hope it's difficult child and not me.