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Please help-Mom on the edge
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<blockquote data-quote="jkrupinski" data-source="post: 153400" data-attributes="member: 5242"><p>You poor thing! I'm new to this forum as well, having just had my 6-year-old daughter evaluated for three months before we finally got the diagnosis of ODD. Your 3-year-old reminds me of where we were three years ago ourselves. Unfortunately, that's a tough age because from ages 2-4 certain oppositional behaviors are normal. But let me tell you, you KNOW when yours is just a tad more exaggerated than the next child's...</p><p> </p><p>We always knew something was different about our daughter, but unfortunately most doctors will not refer you until after the age of five. However, I have been reading that some doctors will diagnose ODD at your son's age, so maybe look into having your pediatrician refer you to a qualified therapist. I honestly regret not doing that sooner with my daughter, as even the past three months have been helpful and I've learned a lot about better parenting techniques to use.</p><p> </p><p>I have to admit that I would get so sick of punishing my daughter that it got to a point where it didn't even seem worth it. It never worked. So I just quit...but this is where my problems really began. Despite the discipline I handed out in the past, my daughter never responded to it. That's because (as most of the therapy sessions we've had so far have made me realize) the kind of punishments for these children have to be very firm and absolutely consistent...and sometimes even what you might think is cruel (taking away dance or football, not going on a trip, not getting to see grandma, etc.). Unfortunately, the time-outs and loss of toys aren't going to work as well with these kids as they might with others.</p><p> </p><p>For a three-year-old, I can see how discipline is even harder. I always felt like a horrible mom when I punished my toddler/preschooler. They're just so little and there temperaments are so volatile. But please remember that you must stay firm and consistent, and even though you might think you are being cruel, you certainly aren't (you may even have to turn it up a notch, as crazy as that sounds). Just keep reminding yourself that it's for his own best interest, so that 3 years down the road you aren't having problems with teachers (as we are) and impaired social relationships (as we are). Keep your chin up and explore what resources are available to you. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jkrupinski, post: 153400, member: 5242"] You poor thing! I'm new to this forum as well, having just had my 6-year-old daughter evaluated for three months before we finally got the diagnosis of ODD. Your 3-year-old reminds me of where we were three years ago ourselves. Unfortunately, that's a tough age because from ages 2-4 certain oppositional behaviors are normal. But let me tell you, you KNOW when yours is just a tad more exaggerated than the next child's... We always knew something was different about our daughter, but unfortunately most doctors will not refer you until after the age of five. However, I have been reading that some doctors will diagnose ODD at your son's age, so maybe look into having your pediatrician refer you to a qualified therapist. I honestly regret not doing that sooner with my daughter, as even the past three months have been helpful and I've learned a lot about better parenting techniques to use. I have to admit that I would get so sick of punishing my daughter that it got to a point where it didn't even seem worth it. It never worked. So I just quit...but this is where my problems really began. Despite the discipline I handed out in the past, my daughter never responded to it. That's because (as most of the therapy sessions we've had so far have made me realize) the kind of punishments for these children have to be very firm and absolutely consistent...and sometimes even what you might think is cruel (taking away dance or football, not going on a trip, not getting to see grandma, etc.). Unfortunately, the time-outs and loss of toys aren't going to work as well with these kids as they might with others. For a three-year-old, I can see how discipline is even harder. I always felt like a horrible mom when I punished my toddler/preschooler. They're just so little and there temperaments are so volatile. But please remember that you must stay firm and consistent, and even though you might think you are being cruel, you certainly aren't (you may even have to turn it up a notch, as crazy as that sounds). Just keep reminding yourself that it's for his own best interest, so that 3 years down the road you aren't having problems with teachers (as we are) and impaired social relationships (as we are). Keep your chin up and explore what resources are available to you. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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