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Please help with our decision to bail 35 yr old son out of jail..
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 636789" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Why in the world would you help him when you don't even have the money to help in in the first place? He doesn't deserve YOUR money and because he is a difficult child, with both your health problems, in the future you will need that money because you certainly are not going to be able to depend on difficult child to take care of YOU. I believe in the rule for difficult child's: you got yourself in the mess, you get yourself out. Of course you feel guilty - he has talked you into feeling that way. Does he feel guilty that both of you are in poor health and it will be a financial hardship for you to come up with the bail money? No, no he doesn't. Does he understand how his cries for help because jail sucks puts emotional stress on you - which with heart problems, additional stress is the last thing you need? No, no he doesn't. All he understands is that he is in jail and if he can manipulate you he can get out of jail. Simple and to the point. WHO can I count on to get me out of the current mess I have created for myself? Well, geesh, my parents fall for my BS every time so I will target the ones most likely to get me out of jail!! Don't do it! Think of yourselves first - just as difficult child does. If you do not bail him out he will find someone else to do it or he will sit in jail. I understand you just want to hug your son - but which son? The good one you raised or the con artist and manipulator he is NOW? If I were in your situation, because you are so vulnerable to his BS I would stop accepting his collect calls and I wouldn't visit him in jail either. Save your money for things you and your husband need, either now or in the future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 636789, member: 18366"] Why in the world would you help him when you don't even have the money to help in in the first place? He doesn't deserve YOUR money and because he is a difficult child, with both your health problems, in the future you will need that money because you certainly are not going to be able to depend on difficult child to take care of YOU. I believe in the rule for difficult child's: you got yourself in the mess, you get yourself out. Of course you feel guilty - he has talked you into feeling that way. Does he feel guilty that both of you are in poor health and it will be a financial hardship for you to come up with the bail money? No, no he doesn't. Does he understand how his cries for help because jail sucks puts emotional stress on you - which with heart problems, additional stress is the last thing you need? No, no he doesn't. All he understands is that he is in jail and if he can manipulate you he can get out of jail. Simple and to the point. WHO can I count on to get me out of the current mess I have created for myself? Well, geesh, my parents fall for my BS every time so I will target the ones most likely to get me out of jail!! Don't do it! Think of yourselves first - just as difficult child does. If you do not bail him out he will find someone else to do it or he will sit in jail. I understand you just want to hug your son - but which son? The good one you raised or the con artist and manipulator he is NOW? If I were in your situation, because you are so vulnerable to his BS I would stop accepting his collect calls and I wouldn't visit him in jail either. Save your money for things you and your husband need, either now or in the future. [/QUOTE]
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Please help with our decision to bail 35 yr old son out of jail..
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