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Please help with our decision to bail 35 yr old son out of jail..
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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 664321" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>God bless you Laura, I know this is incredibly painful and difficult for you. I think you are doing the right thing by not bailing him out. My son has been to jail three times for pot possession, I bailed him out each time. He has not learned anything, I will not bail him out again. My brother, an alcoholic, became homeless & went to jail several times, I refused to help him - he just wanted my money for beer and cigarrettes. He was found dead behind a dumpster (drank himself to death). Its pitiful when people you love self destruct. You can NOT take on their impending doom. Unless they want to help themselves and change, become better people, there is nothing we can do to help. I too never dreamed my son would be a worthless pot head at age 23. He has no goals in life except to get stoned out of his mind every day and party at night. You must detach - hardest thing in the world to do (especially for me as I have no other family). I spent the last 4 years enabling my son. I kicked him out last week, changed the locks... Im done. Until he changes I want nothing to do with him. I love him more than life but he is drowning and not taking me down with him. Ive lost my son to drugs and alcohol. Its not my fault, I was an excellent mom and raised him with morals - did everything to ensure a great child hood (as a single widowed mom). He chose to make bad choices - its his circus to run, not mine. My advice - pray, detach, tell him you can not bail him out. Until he wants to get clean and sober - you can no longer enable him. Keep posting on here - those who have gone down this road will give you better advice than a shrink. Post as much as you need to on here - you will get support and answers -follow everyones advice. You are not alone - we are all going thru this same b.s. Its like a death at times but stay strong ok?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 664321, member: 18773"] God bless you Laura, I know this is incredibly painful and difficult for you. I think you are doing the right thing by not bailing him out. My son has been to jail three times for pot possession, I bailed him out each time. He has not learned anything, I will not bail him out again. My brother, an alcoholic, became homeless & went to jail several times, I refused to help him - he just wanted my money for beer and cigarrettes. He was found dead behind a dumpster (drank himself to death). Its pitiful when people you love self destruct. You can NOT take on their impending doom. Unless they want to help themselves and change, become better people, there is nothing we can do to help. I too never dreamed my son would be a worthless pot head at age 23. He has no goals in life except to get stoned out of his mind every day and party at night. You must detach - hardest thing in the world to do (especially for me as I have no other family). I spent the last 4 years enabling my son. I kicked him out last week, changed the locks... Im done. Until he changes I want nothing to do with him. I love him more than life but he is drowning and not taking me down with him. Ive lost my son to drugs and alcohol. Its not my fault, I was an excellent mom and raised him with morals - did everything to ensure a great child hood (as a single widowed mom). He chose to make bad choices - its his circus to run, not mine. My advice - pray, detach, tell him you can not bail him out. Until he wants to get clean and sober - you can no longer enable him. Keep posting on here - those who have gone down this road will give you better advice than a shrink. Post as much as you need to on here - you will get support and answers -follow everyones advice. You are not alone - we are all going thru this same b.s. Its like a death at times but stay strong ok? [/QUOTE]
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Please help with our decision to bail 35 yr old son out of jail..
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