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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 206558" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Get him a track phone. He can only use the amount put on it.</p><p> </p><p>At 18, he needs to get a job and start paying his own expenses. He can apply for a state health care program that will provide funding for rent, personal needs spending money, and medical coverage.</p><p> </p><p>Because of his sisters' young ages, it is good for him to be out of the house. My 18 year old does not get along with my 12 year old and we did have some rough times but now she is hardly home the same time he is awake and they have learned to stay out of each other's way. They even spent time in the game room tonight - that really did my heart good. Your daughters may not be feeling safe when he is around if this is his behavior. The girls my develop anxiety issues if their brother continues to fight with them. I believe a large part of my difficult child's anxiety is how his sister treated him over the years.</p><p> </p><p>My daughter has also gotten a nasty mouth and is disrespectful to me. I finally had it with her and told her not to ask me to give her anything until she can be nice to me for one month (not just no bad language but also respectful behavior). This started about 2 months ago. Right now she is up to November 25th before I will give her anything. It is working. The disrespect has gone way down and she has even started a few respectful conversations. As you can tell by the next date for the one month mark, she still has a little way to go, however, our home is much more peaceful and she slips every few days. She has gone up to 2 weeks of being nice.</p><p> </p><p>You can tell your son that he is old enough to get control of his life and stop pushing his problems into your lap. That is what the screaming is - he wants you to cater to him and make sure he has food/clothing/shelter. He doesn't want to grow up. He has built his world of comfort and does not want to grow up out of it.</p><p> </p><p>There is a book titled "The Manipulative Child". Your son is a little old to implement the suggestions to deal with manipulation (though I did use it on my daughter last Spring at one situation) but it may help. It would help if the girls start to pick up on that behavior.</p><p> </p><p>Welcome and I hope you can find peace with your decisions of detaching. Detaching means that while you still love and support your children's positive behaviors, you do not put up with or contribute to their poor choices. Sometimes we need to be very mean to get them to grow up and own their own challenges.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 206558, member: 5096"] Get him a track phone. He can only use the amount put on it. At 18, he needs to get a job and start paying his own expenses. He can apply for a state health care program that will provide funding for rent, personal needs spending money, and medical coverage. Because of his sisters' young ages, it is good for him to be out of the house. My 18 year old does not get along with my 12 year old and we did have some rough times but now she is hardly home the same time he is awake and they have learned to stay out of each other's way. They even spent time in the game room tonight - that really did my heart good. Your daughters may not be feeling safe when he is around if this is his behavior. The girls my develop anxiety issues if their brother continues to fight with them. I believe a large part of my difficult child's anxiety is how his sister treated him over the years. My daughter has also gotten a nasty mouth and is disrespectful to me. I finally had it with her and told her not to ask me to give her anything until she can be nice to me for one month (not just no bad language but also respectful behavior). This started about 2 months ago. Right now she is up to November 25th before I will give her anything. It is working. The disrespect has gone way down and she has even started a few respectful conversations. As you can tell by the next date for the one month mark, she still has a little way to go, however, our home is much more peaceful and she slips every few days. She has gone up to 2 weeks of being nice. You can tell your son that he is old enough to get control of his life and stop pushing his problems into your lap. That is what the screaming is - he wants you to cater to him and make sure he has food/clothing/shelter. He doesn't want to grow up. He has built his world of comfort and does not want to grow up out of it. There is a book titled "The Manipulative Child". Your son is a little old to implement the suggestions to deal with manipulation (though I did use it on my daughter last Spring at one situation) but it may help. It would help if the girls start to pick up on that behavior. Welcome and I hope you can find peace with your decisions of detaching. Detaching means that while you still love and support your children's positive behaviors, you do not put up with or contribute to their poor choices. Sometimes we need to be very mean to get them to grow up and own their own challenges. [/QUOTE]
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