Please help

[oneday]

Hi, Im a first timer and really would like to know if there is anyone out there in new zealand that has a child with CD mostly. I need to get help for my difficult child. I have try most Gov supplied agency's and have got no where. As he just doesnt fit the norm. Has anyone else had this problem. I know my difficult child and he needs help sooner than later.

 

[busywend]

Welcome Oneday! I am going to move this post to the General Forum.

 

[Marguerite]

Hi, Oneday. I know of a couple of Kiwis who visit occasionally, but most of the people here are in the US. However, I'm from across the ditch, to the west of you. I love Auckland! We were there three years ago. If you go through the old files (esp in Watercooler) you can find a little bit of journalling about our trip, in June of 1997 (if the files go back that far). We had made it to Wanaka on South Island when that really bad blizzard hit. We have photos of Mt Cook with snow right down to the lake edge. Ditto Queenstown. Anyway, back to business...

With kids like ours, the best thing you can do is get the individual problems addressed as best you can and keep an open mind. Conventional parenting methods not only don't work, they can make them worse. Especially if there is ADHD or possible autism there. However, there are some facets to having such a kid, that you can work in your favour.

Some reading for you - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene can give you some ideas on how to manage behaviour problems (regardless of what the underlying disorder might be). The methods advised will also work well on PCs. If you want a preview, go to the Early Childhood forum and read the sticky there, on this book.

Other reading (for you to think about, given your query with the diagnosis) - go to www.childbrain.com and look for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. You can't use it to officially diagnose, but you can print the results and take the printout to the doctor and see if it helps with ideas. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is an umbrella term that covers Asperger's, autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified (not otherwise specified).

Keep a diary on your child and if possible, share the diary with school. Get them to write down any problems (or just the interesting stuff) and you do the same. It really does help a lot, it also helps you and the school stay a team.

Keep in touch. Even if there is nobody near you, there is still a different kind of support here and in its own way, incredibly helpful.

Marg

 

[oneday]

Thanks for that. Do you have any advise for putting my difficult child to sleep and also for punishment. Nothing is working that we have tryed. Sleep we have tryed setting bed times with quietly reading to him, massages, soft music, going to bed and leaving him, (big no no house nearly got distroyed) locking him in his room (also big no no). I have sat on his bed telling to shut his eye until 2am and still no sign of defeat. We have tryed all punishment except and nothing seems to work he just does not care. We feel like we are pirsoner in our on home. Every day our lives are getting distroyed by difficult child and the only way we get any peice is to let him do what he wants. All the speclist we have seen all can work him out and just keep staying that nothing is working and he is getting worst but they dont know what is really wrong our difficult child has to many behavour problems and they dont know what to do. If you could give me any idea's I will be greatful.