Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Please help....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 400256" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I am glad you got him to school today.</p><p> </p><p>When Diva was about 10 or 11, she would also try the refusal to go to school route. I could get her to school by saying, "YOU call YOUR teacher and YOU tell him why YOU have decided to not go today." She did not want her teacher to know the troubles I was having with her so she would opt to go to school. </p><p> </p><p>We also talked to difficult child's daycare provider with Diva present about what the foster care system would be like. Diva wanted out of the house so bad and the provider having been a foster care provider also was able to spell out to her that if she was to be taken out of our house then she would be living under very strict house rules in whichever home she was placed. AND, if she wanted to change her mind and come home, that would NOT be an option. That no matter what she wants and what Mom and Dad wants, the COURTS get to decide when and if she gets to return home. No, "I guess I did make a mistake. I want it to end!". She would have to ride it out. She pretty much convinced Diva to stay at home and not look for a way out.</p><p> </p><p>I know how extremely hard it is to get our 10 and 11 year olds to do what they have set their minds against. You just have to hold firm.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child had school refusal for anxiety reasons (I think Diva did also but at that time I didn't know to look their). With him, a medication helped a lot. It took the edge of his anxiety off to get him in the door. Once inside, he was fine.</p><p> </p><p>If you don't find an answer through the school, I think I would push the psychiatrist appointment even though he doesn't want to go that route. Tell him that you know he must not be feeling very well and that you want to explore every doctor possible to figure out what he needs to feel better.</p><p> </p><p>Another thing to maybe look at: Have you noticed in the past years a little more resistance to do things during the winter months? Some people shut down a little or a lot during the months of decreasing sunshine. Has he had a physical this year? His regular doctor would be able to check him out and refer to a psychiatrist or psychologist.</p><p> </p><p>I do hope that this fear of someone coming to get him holds on for awhile.</p><p></p><p>Now, you and go to him again tonight and ask him how he felt this morning. What was there that made him not want to go to school? Was there something about today? A certain class? A certain person? Encourage him to share his fears with you instead of shutting down and refusing to leave the house. Tell him that you and his dad are there to help him through everything and that you know that with his family's help, he can overcome anything.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes if kids don't know the answer, they don't think anyone else will either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 400256, member: 5096"] I am glad you got him to school today. When Diva was about 10 or 11, she would also try the refusal to go to school route. I could get her to school by saying, "YOU call YOUR teacher and YOU tell him why YOU have decided to not go today." She did not want her teacher to know the troubles I was having with her so she would opt to go to school. We also talked to difficult child's daycare provider with Diva present about what the foster care system would be like. Diva wanted out of the house so bad and the provider having been a foster care provider also was able to spell out to her that if she was to be taken out of our house then she would be living under very strict house rules in whichever home she was placed. AND, if she wanted to change her mind and come home, that would NOT be an option. That no matter what she wants and what Mom and Dad wants, the COURTS get to decide when and if she gets to return home. No, "I guess I did make a mistake. I want it to end!". She would have to ride it out. She pretty much convinced Diva to stay at home and not look for a way out. I know how extremely hard it is to get our 10 and 11 year olds to do what they have set their minds against. You just have to hold firm. difficult child had school refusal for anxiety reasons (I think Diva did also but at that time I didn't know to look their). With him, a medication helped a lot. It took the edge of his anxiety off to get him in the door. Once inside, he was fine. If you don't find an answer through the school, I think I would push the psychiatrist appointment even though he doesn't want to go that route. Tell him that you know he must not be feeling very well and that you want to explore every doctor possible to figure out what he needs to feel better. Another thing to maybe look at: Have you noticed in the past years a little more resistance to do things during the winter months? Some people shut down a little or a lot during the months of decreasing sunshine. Has he had a physical this year? His regular doctor would be able to check him out and refer to a psychiatrist or psychologist. I do hope that this fear of someone coming to get him holds on for awhile. Now, you and go to him again tonight and ask him how he felt this morning. What was there that made him not want to go to school? Was there something about today? A certain class? A certain person? Encourage him to share his fears with you instead of shutting down and refusing to leave the house. Tell him that you and his dad are there to help him through everything and that you know that with his family's help, he can overcome anything. Sometimes if kids don't know the answer, they don't think anyone else will either. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Please help....
Top