Please help!

[exhausted]

I'm glad he has agreed to take on responsibility. Actions will speak for themselves. I would not home school this child. She needs to face the music at school and you need another set of eyes . This is too hard on you-thus the mini-stroke. I guarantee it is too hard on your baby. There are many placements at schools for children with these issues. I would have her tested and placed. She may have a learning disability-smart kids often are twice exceptional (very smart and then having a disability in one or more areas). She is no doubt, emotionally disturbed (be it Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or an emerging personality disorder, trauma, etc.). There are placements for these children as well. Some of these teachers are very good at what they do. (You will hear horror stories on the board-so keep your eyes open). If she is manipulating you( pretending to be "dumb") and not doing the work she should-this is not good for anyone and to me indicates some pretty serious problems.

If the emotional stress does not begin to level out, husband does not come to the plate, and you do not begin to be able to cope, I would not stay and risk the well being of my little 2 year old. There is no way to shield him from your stress and health problems and the stress your SD causes, it will cause him issues. This little girl is likely to suffer and have issues much of her life-and it only gets worse when a biomom plays games with her children. An puberty? It's hard with normal kids, imagine with a child who is not well. Please do everything you can to take care of yourself first or you will not be able to care for your children. And I agree with DDD, keep insisting on husband pulling up to the plate. ((Hugs))

 

[DDD]

I'm happy you have taken a step or two with husband. As the very old staying goes "the proof is in the pudding", so time will tell whether he "gets it" or not. I completely and totally understand the concept of wanting everyone to be happy and healthy. Unfortunately...that is not a healthy guideline for life. Sorry 'bout that. I have been there done that and it is not the right goal for your life. You need to claim your right to live an independent adult life with-o sacrificing everything for others. Really, believe me, I am "old and wise" lol, the best thing you can do for your child is to enoy the best quality of life available for a young loving Mom. Sacraficing your life is not the goal. Sincere and caring hugs. DDD

 

[mazdamama]

What a frightening mess. Sounds as though difficult child was strongly connected to her brother but maybe not in the best of ways. God bless you for caring so much for this child. And I pray your husband will "man up".
As for what exhausted posted....I agree.....this child needs to go to school. There are security measures that can be put in place to keep her from being taken by bio mom. You and your 2 yr old...especially you...need a break. And difficult child needs to face the music. She will not be able to manipulate the staff at the school. An IEP would have to be put in place though due to the issues she is showing Me...I dread spring breaks, winter breaks and even weekends sometimes. Not that I don't love my boys...only have the one here right now...other in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)...but I have to schedule all my appts while he is in school and even get my shopping done.
We have time out here but it is usually me that will take a time out...make sure all is safe and then I head to my room and put the KEEP OUT AND THIS MEANS YOU! door hanger on the knob.