Please, please, let her have stability soon.

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
She is such a fricken mess. I know things are not good when husband and I are fighting.
K has been delusional for around 2 weeks now. I can't even keep it straight. But the past 2 days she has been gone. Completely living in fantasy land, husband is walking around with the look, you know.

K is convinced when she was born her brain collapsed and when she realized we were her "bosses" her brain started forming again and squeezing together. Forming a new brain and special brain. Closing in growing tighter. She has special powers now and can see her fairies and can can see the monsters that are coming to destroy our house. They are going to smash it. If we don't believe her fairies die. We must join together and fight these things.
She was inches from my face last night, "Mom you have to believe me"
She is not sleeping well and she waking early. Agitated the minute she wakes.
So this morning she is going again. She starts on husband, I was walking the dog. The monster has a name, Mongoo. (Not like Blazing Saddles,Mongo! LOL)
She started drawing pictures of him throwing these balls that her uncle built and destroying her Fairies... very graphic and ugly picture...
She is in our face again. Urgent needs to call "Uncle Bucky" to build this Machine that can help destroy Mongoo...
We need to have a plan. We need to save the fairies. We need to save the world .
So she thinks she is at war and we need to help her.

I have her in front of the TV, it is the only thing that helps a little. She will get up every once in while and start rambling. I calm her... she keeps telling N she is going to die. We separate them, but N wants to be near her sister.

The only good thing is Her and husband are flying to Tucson to meet with psychiatrist on Friday. He is bringing notes.

I am just so lost. I have been trying so hard to soothe her and remain positive. I have her and N doing melti-beads. I am trying to keep her as busy as possible. She is so frustrated... Her poor little brain is racing and just pure chaos.
I have been manic and a mess. But never so bad like this.
I know some of you have had kids who have slipped from reality... has anything helped? While they were at home? I know we have been giving her PRN's...
Any thoughts. TIA.
I know she should probably be Hospitalized but with the move and all... I just can't. Maybe that is dumb. I don't know. husband has finally come to terms with all of this, he said he is grateful she is just BiPolar (BP) at this point... He fought that for a long time.
I am just sad today... I am feeling my hypo-mania coming on. I couldn't get my Ambien filled yesterday and could not sleep. Which well you know.
 
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bran155

Guest
You poor thing, sounds heartbreaking. It is so hard to watch your child losing it, as a parent I know you feel helpless. Kudos to you for keeping your cool and doing what you can to calm her down. I dont really have advise as my difficult child hasn't really ever actually lost touch with reality. I just wanted to send you some cyber {{{hugs}}}. Hang in there and God bless.
 
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butterflydreams

Guest
Oh Totoro, my heart goes out to you! Poor K. I understand you don't want her hospitalized, but she might need to be to get stabilized, just a thought. It's good that husband and K are flying to see psychiatrist on Friday.

Sending lots of hugs for all of you.

Christy
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
OMG, toto. Catbus, take you away....

I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Don't feel guilty for using the TV. Guilt over too much tv is reserved for easy child parents only - didn't you read that rule? I'd be hesitant to hospitalize with the move coming, also, if you can get by without...any chance the move is what's triggering this? Just grasping here...

Otherwise sending hugs.
 

Andy

Active Member
Wow! Poor thing! Have you called psychiatrist and to let him know what is going on? How is the trip with husband going to go? Does husband know how to calm her, to work her through the moment's difficulty?

I think maybe N wants to be near K because she is scared for K. N knows something is wrong and is trying to figure out what is going on.

I can feel the frustration in your home. So much going on, so confusing. Does K like to fly? I hope you get some helpful answers on Friday.
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
I think the world triggers her! She has been "more" unstable for a few months now. It has slowly increased since we stopped her medications in February. We started her back on medications about 5 weeks ago. So she is not even at therapeutic levels most likely yet.
She most likely needs an adjunct medication as well. psychiatrist wants to see her for a medication evaluation. I had called her to let her know K was not well and she prescribed the Risperdal-m-tabs PRN. But it is so hard to get them in her at times and to get them in her fast enough before she is out of control. Sometimes they don't touch her.
I think the trip, the move all of it has to be affecting her this time. When she was younger these things didn't have so much of an affect on her. But I think they do as she gets older.
Some days she wants to move others she has lots of anxiety over it. We are trying to make it as fun, smooth as possible. Trying to make it no big deal, letting them talk when they want. Letting her know I am scared also and it is OK, we will all slowly get over it and have lots of fun and make new friends find new places to go. I remind her of all of the places we have already discovered there.

She loves swimming so we made sure and found a rental with a pool.
I don't know... I hope psychiatrist has some suggestions. I can read and read, you know? I need it in my face someone for once sitting with me, telling me, lining it up, helping me... I know it may never happen. I just wish.
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
Thanks everyone... as always, sometimes just getting it out makes me feel better. Clears my head and gets me thinking again. I know she will be OK. As OK as she can be. I will never give up on her, but sometimes it just weighs so heavy on my mind, especially when my own Bipolar is acting up!

MWM~ yes I think she is psychotic... of course it will break when she gets to Tucson. Not that I wish it to last, but we all know how we need our psychiatrist's to really "see" our kids. Fortunately our psychiatrist is pretty good at taking our word for it and seeing K for who she is, so far.
 

smallworld

Moderator
Toto, when is the psychiatrist seeing K next? Will the psychiatrist prescribe an antipsychotic now? Many psychiatrists add in an AP while the MS is coming up into the therapeutic range. It's not good for her to be so out of it for so long.

Hugs.
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
Smallworld~
Friday she is seeing her. She prescribed the Risperdal as a prn. She really wanted to see how the Depakote was doing to get a grasp on how K was doing.
I think Friday she will up the Depakote and maybe add a AP. I would like to try Seroquel. That is one we have not tried.
She has even been kicking Clemey, the dog. She is not like that. :(
husband just took her to Horse Therapy to try to get her to focus on something else. She will be the only one there.
 
W

Wonderful Family

Guest
Thoughts and prayer - hard day for everone. It's so hard when they are so little!
 

smallworld

Moderator
My kids only go after our dog when they are not stable. It's very sad to watch.

As I've posted before, Seroquel has been a miracle medication for my son. Our psychiatrist says it is a "softer" AP than most of the others and less likely to cause dystonia and akathisia (two side effects my son experienced). If the psychiatrist prescribes it, I hope it works well for K, too.

Hugs again.
 

Christy

New Member
So Sorry! I understand why a this isn't a good time for a hospitalization but it must be so hard for all of you. I hope things take a turn for the better.
(((hugs)))
Christy
 

SRL

Active Member
A video or a sound recording of her carrying on in this mode would sure help psychiatrist see for herself what you're dealing with. If she won't stand being filmed, a small digital camera can at least record the sound.
 

meowbunny

New Member
Oh, hon, I am so sorry. I can only imagine your pain and fear. I hope the psychiatrist can help, even if just a little.

Have you tried making her some fairy dust (glycerine, a touch of cologne and glitter)? Tell her this can be used whenever she sees the monsters. I know it's not the same thing but I used this formula for my daughter when she was afraid to sleep because of monsters. It may give her a little relief.

In the meantime, hugs to all of you. No one deserves to see their child in this kind of pain. No child deserves to live this.
 

Steely

Active Member
OH toto..........

I just have no words. I don't even know what to tell you.

What do you say to her when she is in her fantasy land? What do the experts say to do? Play along and try and help them feel safe, or try and bring them back to reality based decisions?

Have you ever read the book by Wally Lamb about the twin brothers? "I Know This much is True"? Excellent read. N's behavior reminded me of the stable brother who was always trying to help the unstable one.

I like the idea of a tape recording to take to the psychiatrist. And really focusing psychiatrist on finding a medication that will slow her mind. Seroquel has got to the be the next choice. Right?

A bazillion hugs............and grace, peace, and strength for your whole family.:peaceful:
 

klmno

Active Member
I just wanted to send Hugs and support. I'm sorry you and she are going thru this. The only thing I can throw out- the pediatrician told me not to overlook when and what OTC medications I ever gave difficult child as sometimes they could trigger cycling- even if our psychiatrist or pharmacist says otherwise. Apparently, it can be almost anything that we can so easily take for granted that it wouldn't be an issue. In this case though, it just sounds like the other things going on around her that you don't have much control over right now. I'm sorry for the frustration you must be feeling- at least it is just a couple of days before you can get input from psychiatrist.
 

4sumrzn

New Member
Oh my.....I'm so sorry. I want to send my thoughts & prayers.....many {{hugs}} too. Hopefully the appointment Friday will result in something positive.....medication change or whatever is needed to help. It has to be so very hard, I'm sorry.
 
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