Please pray for difficult child 1

[Shari]

difficult child 1 is still overseas tho due to return home soon. I have been concerned about him for a while. I can't say what he's seen; only that he's seen and done plenty while he's been involved in this war. He is very depressed. He is afraid to come home. When he gets here, he doesn't want to spend time with his wife and son. He doesn't want to handle being responsible for day to day 'stuff'... He is really reminding me of when he was at his worst when he was 15/16. I am worried for him and his wife and little boy. If you can spare a prayer for him, and for a little strength and wisdom for his wife, and maybe even me, as we head down this path with him.

 

[KTMom91]

Prayers going out, Shari.

 

[Star*]

Prayers gone!

 

[Mattsmom277]

Many prayers heading his way, and for you, his wife and son etc.

 

[1905]

Prayers sent to all.

 

[HaoZi]

Prayers going out for them. He needs to make certain he gets therapy. Have you also considered asking Patriot Guard for a Welcome Home greeting for him?

 

[TeDo]

Prayers going out to all of you. It's going to be tough and yes, he will need therapy. So sorry you are all going to be going through this. I can only imagine. Never had anyone close to me in the middle of it. We're here for ya'!!!

 

[Shari]

His wife and I have talked about counseling. How much we will be able to push without pushing him away will be the fine line to walk. He doesn't like to admit he needs help.
Thank you all.
I thought patriot gaurd rode funerals?

 

[HaoZi]

They also do welcome home missions to greet the ones coming back, all you have to do is ask (the more notice the easier it is to coordinate). If you want to PM me with what state he'll be coming back to I'll get you the contact info for the Ride Captain, or you can go to PatriotGuard.org and talk to them. You also don't have to be a biker to participate - Kiddo and I have done missions, too.

 

[Shari]

Tho most of dex's family is former military, it was all before my time. ExBIL tho does have experience in the same branch as difficult child 1 and having seen combat. The downside is that he doesn't always fully comprehend difficult child 1's other 'issues' and how they play into things. But we do had him to lean on, also.
I've never been down this path, but ready or not, we're fixing to head there. His wife said today that she gets lonely because no one really knows what difficult child 1 is like...so that leaves me for her to really talk to. My heart hurts for her...she really wants her husband back, and instead she's going to have to continue to be the leading force in her home.
I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

 

[Shari]

Thanks haozi. I'll ask her what she thinks. He doesn't like attention called to him, but occasionally really likes it when you break that rule.

 

[HaoZi]

I've never seen one upset by it, it's done with respect and happiness. Of course it's only when the family asks, and family knows him best (same with funerals, it's only when requested by the family). It's to make them feel welcome and appreciated for their sacrifices, and many of the bikers are former military.

 

[DDD]

I promise that my prayers are in transit. Do you have a VA hospital nearby? My brother had "stifled" issues as a result of Viet Nam. He's now in his late 70's and within the past ten years accidentally met up with some other veterans and
told me "that's the first time I spoke with people who understood". My heart goes out to all of you because he has to be the one who acknowledges his feelings and the need for help. Many caring thoughts coming your way. DDD

 

[Hound dog]

HaoZi is right. And now days it's pretty necessary with many because you just don't have the long travel time from war zone to home front to adjust like back in the day. It's not just your difficult child who is scared of adjusting back into civilian life......most go through the same thing to one degree or another. My nephew when he came back from the gulf had some troubles at first. Travel time was just too fast. He said to him it felt like one day he was shooting people, the next he was home. He did better when he went this time because when he came back his wife (awesome woman) had pulled resources to help him make the adjustment smoother.

I'll keep difficult child in my prayers.

Hugs

 

[susiestar]

Praying for the family. Lisa, what resources helped your nephew transition home? If you could get some specifics it might be things that Shari's daughter in law could arrange to help her husband upon his return.

 

[shellyd67]

Prayers for all of you. I hope he finds peace and is able to transition back to his life with his family.

 

[Hound dog]

Well I'm not sure what they were called. I know there were places on base that his wife contacted that offered counseling to returning troops. One was a group sort of deal where the guys/gals just more or less hung out, very informal, and would talk about issues they were having with the transition and how they were finding ways to cope. I think it was over seen by a therapist. I would imagine the base chaplains would be able to give his wife any info the base has to help with the transition back home.

But in this war he only served a year at the very beginning over there before sustaining an injury that brought him home to a desk job. That was several years ago, so I don't know what all they have available now, but the chaplains should know.

 

[gcvmom]

I like HaoZi's suggestion!

Sounds like he is really, REALLY going to need time to debrief and decompress. He is REALLy going to need some serious counseling, most likely on his own, and I would recommend his wife seek counseling on her own to know how to deal with having him back but not "really" back for a while. It's not going to be an easy transition, but I think it's vital for them to each get their own support separately. When the time comes, then maybe they can look at joint counseling, but I think in the beginning it's got to be apart. They are both dealing with just two completely separate worlds still.

I hope there are resources available to him and the he USES them.

 

[BusynMember]

Hi, Shari. Thank him for me for serving.
He has my prayers...does your town have people, often bikers, who welcome home vets?

 

[AnnieO]

Will do...

And if he needs to talk to someone who's BEEN there... Let me know, I'll FB you husband's email.