Please pray for thank you

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by slsh, Jun 3, 2012.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    thank you's girlfriend committed suicide this morning - oh my god, ...... i don't know what happened - husband said it sounded like she was actually here at 4 a.m (I didn't hear anything) and wanted to come in, thank you said no. Sounds like he was trying to break up with- her - they were on and off forever. She texted him sometime later and said that he was her one and only and that whatever happened next wasn't his fault.

    Two friends came around 10:30 to tell thank you... I knew something was up. Facebook filled in the blanks.

    thank you's comment to husband was "i'm responsible for the death of another human being."

    I'm terrified and my heart is breaking into little pieces. I love her - she was a difficult child in her own right, but a really sweet girl. Brought me flowers for mother's day. Screwed up kid but.... god, she was trying.

    thank you's with- his friends now - they swore to me they'd watch him carefully. I told them to lock up drugs/knives/sharps/guns... I love her so much but I'm so freaking angry too that she laid this at thank you's feet.

    Diva's going to be devastated. She loved B like a big sis.

    How do you survive this? HOw on earth?
     
  2. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    What shock you must feel. Words are very inadequate but I am truly sorry this has happened. May you all find peace with it, though it may be a long road.
     
  3. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    ........words aren't enough........ May you and your family find strenght and guidance.
     
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am so sorry Sue. What is it with these kids that they resort to such an extreme, providing it really was the break-up. It sounds like she might have had other things going on that were not being dealt with. I really feel for thank you. No one should have to live with that guilty feeling. I really hope thank you is able to get past this.....and so can you. Short-term therapist for you both???
     
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers and strength going out to all of you.
     
  6. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your family and all the other loved ones of this poor girl.
     
  7. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I have no idea what to say. What a shocking and awful tragedy. thank you (and all of you) will be in my prayers.
     
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Sue...I dont even even know what to type to try to help. I am so horribly sorry. I cant imagine how upset all of you are but especially thank you. I flash back to that precious little boy from when I first started here and I so hope he wont do anything awful. I can put Cory in his place and I know what the effects would be and they would not be pretty. I was afraid Cory was going to hurt himself when his friend died leaving his house so I cant imagine what it would be like with a girlfriend. Oh gosh. Im just praying so hard. Please, please let you guys be okay!
     
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    (((Hugs)))

    Please do not try to walk this road alone. The local police station often has a therapist on staff that can help when this happens and they should have a list of grief specialists in your area.

    http://www.afsp.org/

    We will pray for thank you and all of you. thank you is NOT responsible for her death, only she is.
     
  10. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm so so sorry for everyone involved! ~biggest hugs possible~ Suicide is not an easy thing for anyone to handle. Especially those left behind that the person did not even think about. thank you has a long road ahead of him, and NO he is not responsible for it as she did say to him, though he will NOT see it that way now and for a long time to come. I'm sure you will get help for him and daughter as needed and for anyone else in the family that needs it (and it WILL be needed).

    Please let the CD be your arms and strength to hold you through the roughest times that are ahead now. I'm so sorry for this loss.
     
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ((((hugs)))))

    OMG what a horrific tragedy! Prayers going up for thank you. Prayers going up for this girl's family. Prayers going up for your family.

    This is in no way shape or form thank you's fault. It could've been an act meant to get his attention, and it just went terribly wrong and succeeded. Or she could've meant it. Either way? We never have control over someone else's actions.

    I don't blame you for being angry. I'm angry too and I didn't even know her. But this is so totally unfair to put onto another person. The main thing about suicide that infuriates me.

    I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.

    ((((hugs)))))
     
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    When a person commits suicide, it effects so many people it's unbelievable. I'm so sorry thank you, her family, and all the extended family and friends have to ddeal with this. I hope thank you sees quickly that this is a reflection of her MH issues, not him or anything he did or didn't do.
     
  13. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Active Member

    Please tell thank you for me that girlfriend's life was her own responsibility. She was ill. She wasn't thinking about hurting everyone who loved her, she was only thinking of herself and her unbearable pain. Also tell him that he wouldn't feel responsible if she had died from cancer. Mental illness is also a disease and the ill person is in charge of reaching out for help when she feels suicidal. She reached a place where she was too ill to reach out and the worst happened. It isn't anyone's fault. Even hers.

    My family survived; yours will, too. We're here for you.
     
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How tragic, I'm so sorry Sue. I don't know how you get over something like this except with time and a lot of support from friends and family. I've seen many of difficult child's friends die over the past two years from drugs/alcohol/suicide and each one is so devastating. But for thank you this will be especially painful and he may need some counseling to help deal with it.

    Sending hugs and prayer to thank you and all involved in this tragic event. thank you is not responsible but no one can convince him of that right now.

    Nancy
     
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Just so, so sorry. What a terrible loss. Will pray for thank you, and your family. Her family too.
     
  16. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Omg, Sue, there is nothing logical any of us can say at a time like this. Definitely have you, thank you and Diva, as well as girlfriend's family, in my thoughts and prayers. I'm just so sorry. Hugs.
     
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, Sue... So many prayers and warm gentle hugs and thoughts.
     
  18. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Thank you all. It's been a devastating day. Diva cried for over an hour, throwing up half the time. thank you finally came back about an hour ago - he's been getting alternating condolences and threats. B's parents have banned him from the wake. I understand, they have to blame someone and they can't blame B, but at the same time, my boy is hurting something fierce. This is the second woman he's loved and outlived - first was murdered. I'm so worried about him.

    I can't stop crying myself - for my children's pain and for the loss of B. I keep hearing her laugh and smelling her perfume ... well, it's just beyond surreal that she's gone. Just surreal. I mean.... how can this be?

    She used a gun. thank you can't wrap his head around it at all. As if anyone can...

    Horrible horrible time. thank you I think is still in shock. Blaming himself. If he'd just had her come in, if he'd just stayed up five minutes to talk to her. I told him that maybe it would have stopped her, today, but the only person who could have saved B was B.

    What an absolutely heartbreaking waste.
     
  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh! I am so sorry for thank you and for your family. It will take time to process this. The what ifs will be unbearable for him. I agree with someone above get help with how to handle this. Nobody will be able to convince him that he couldnt have done something different. Her parents arent helping. This is so awful and sad.
     
  20. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Sue, I'm so sorry. Suicide is so tragic. I just had a nephew commit suicide at the end of March and it just is so horrible. Sending hugs and love for your family (extra ones for thank you and sending him super gentle hugs).
     
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