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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 312419" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome, Melinda.</p><p></p><p>I'm grabbing a minute after midnight here to let you know - you're not alone, it's not your fault, the autism label sounds exactly right (although we can't diagnose here, he's already been given an autism label, you say). You've been given a number of labels by different people - this happens as you go down the diagnostic journey. Each label shouldbring you close to the most accurate one. Some of the labels will be descriptive (such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) - you get this often simply as part of an autism spectrum, they don't stand alone in that case). Avoid the alphabet soup confusion and aim for a label which is an umbrella, it covers it all.</p><p></p><p>I have so much to share with you - but it's very late here and I have to head for bed. It will be another 24 hours or so, then I will be able to take the time to give you a more detailed post.</p><p></p><p>Two things I will say now.</p><p></p><p>1) Read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, it will help. Find a library copy, Google it to get info, do what you can. Also, the advice you will get here should help. This is not your fault. Neither is it Brenden's fault. The poor kid is stuck in aconfusing world that won't communicate in his language on his terms - and they are the only terms he knows.</p><p></p><p>2) Your starting point in helping him (and while professional therapy is important, the starting and finishing point is always you and your child) is to start with him, where he is, doing what he is doing, and on his terms. That is the place to begin. As and how much he can handle. Be gentle, be loving. Walk away rather than get angry. Positive motivation, not punishment. There's no point punishing what he can't control or help. Don't judge him according to "normal" or "he should be doing better at his age". Don't try to do too much - refer back to point (1). It will help you with point (2).</p><p></p><p>I'll talk more later. Meanwhile - some good poepole have already made some valuable suggestions.</p><p></p><p>Help is here. And it's highly likely he will do better than you've been led to believe. The trend seems to be, with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), to give us a bleak picture. But with the right support and stimulation, our Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids can amaze, astound and delight. Yes, they are also hard work, but when you find something that works for you both (and it's a matter of careful searching, asking questions, observing and trying things) then you can see sometimes drastic improvement.</p><p></p><p>He may always need some level of support, it can be a bumpy ride sometimes, but we just can't predict how he will turn out. All you can do is help as much as you can, and observe how he makes use of this help in trying himself to find ways to cope and to adapt.</p><p></p><p>I'll post more tomorrow night (my time).</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 312419, member: 1991"] Welcome, Melinda. I'm grabbing a minute after midnight here to let you know - you're not alone, it's not your fault, the autism label sounds exactly right (although we can't diagnose here, he's already been given an autism label, you say). You've been given a number of labels by different people - this happens as you go down the diagnostic journey. Each label shouldbring you close to the most accurate one. Some of the labels will be descriptive (such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) - you get this often simply as part of an autism spectrum, they don't stand alone in that case). Avoid the alphabet soup confusion and aim for a label which is an umbrella, it covers it all. I have so much to share with you - but it's very late here and I have to head for bed. It will be another 24 hours or so, then I will be able to take the time to give you a more detailed post. Two things I will say now. 1) Read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, it will help. Find a library copy, Google it to get info, do what you can. Also, the advice you will get here should help. This is not your fault. Neither is it Brenden's fault. The poor kid is stuck in aconfusing world that won't communicate in his language on his terms - and they are the only terms he knows. 2) Your starting point in helping him (and while professional therapy is important, the starting and finishing point is always you and your child) is to start with him, where he is, doing what he is doing, and on his terms. That is the place to begin. As and how much he can handle. Be gentle, be loving. Walk away rather than get angry. Positive motivation, not punishment. There's no point punishing what he can't control or help. Don't judge him according to "normal" or "he should be doing better at his age". Don't try to do too much - refer back to point (1). It will help you with point (2). I'll talk more later. Meanwhile - some good poepole have already made some valuable suggestions. Help is here. And it's highly likely he will do better than you've been led to believe. The trend seems to be, with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), to give us a bleak picture. But with the right support and stimulation, our Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids can amaze, astound and delight. Yes, they are also hard work, but when you find something that works for you both (and it's a matter of careful searching, asking questions, observing and trying things) then you can see sometimes drastic improvement. He may always need some level of support, it can be a bumpy ride sometimes, but we just can't predict how he will turn out. All you can do is help as much as you can, and observe how he makes use of this help in trying himself to find ways to cope and to adapt. I'll post more tomorrow night (my time). Marg [/QUOTE]
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