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Please share your stories about how you were able to tell your difficult children "NO"
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 614555" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>"He was very appreciative." I may just be down on difficult child son, but all I could think about when I read that is this: There was a time, after we moved difficult child son out of our house one time (to a job and a city about three hours from us) when, after difficult child did well for awhile and then, quit the job and started doing not well, but we still thought that was about a poor upbringing and not the drug use it turned out to be, that we would go there and bring difficult child son to dinner and grocery shopping. We bought those big bags of frozen broccoli spears from Sam's for him, along with whatever else. Know why I remember the broccoli? Because for years afterwords, difficult child son was so explosively angry about that stupid broccoli we always bought instead of just giving him the money. </p><p></p><p>I am making him sound like a real jerk. Surely, that cannot be true. Maybe he meant it to be funny. (Said Cedar, not having managed to manufacture an adequate defense mechanism fast enough not to see this.)</p><p></p><p>****************</p><p></p><p>On keeping the large house, Janet. That is what my kids mean when they talk about people in the South who welcome their families home. We did have a bigger house. There were so many horrible memories associated with it that we sold it when it looked like we no longer needed the room, because both kids were gone and things were not going well. husband retired, and we moved to our cabin ~ a little log house on a pretty lake. Two beds, one bath.</p><p></p><p>And do you know that within a month, both kids (one of them pregnant), a grandchild, three dogs, two cats (one with a litter of kittens) and a cageful of parakeets came to live with us in that little house with only one bathroom?</p><p></p><p>I see that I don't have a point in telling that story. (Or, says Bad Cedar, I don't want to know what it is.)</p><p></p><p>I am going to opt for that latter choice.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>********************</p><p></p><p>I do feel that there should be a safe place for the kids to come home to, if they need to.</p><p></p><p>I don't ever want to live like that again, is the problem. </p><p></p><p>Source of conflict, for me.</p><p></p><p>The house here is bigger. We could take difficult child son in. difficult child daughter probably will come here later this year.</p><p></p><p>Dread the thought of it.</p><p></p><p>Definite source of conflict.</p><p></p><p>I admire you Janet, for being able to do it. I hope I never have to take anyone in, again. Even difficult child daughter will need to set about recreating her own life, though we will help her to do that. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 614555, member: 1721"] "He was very appreciative." I may just be down on difficult child son, but all I could think about when I read that is this: There was a time, after we moved difficult child son out of our house one time (to a job and a city about three hours from us) when, after difficult child did well for awhile and then, quit the job and started doing not well, but we still thought that was about a poor upbringing and not the drug use it turned out to be, that we would go there and bring difficult child son to dinner and grocery shopping. We bought those big bags of frozen broccoli spears from Sam's for him, along with whatever else. Know why I remember the broccoli? Because for years afterwords, difficult child son was so explosively angry about that stupid broccoli we always bought instead of just giving him the money. I am making him sound like a real jerk. Surely, that cannot be true. Maybe he meant it to be funny. (Said Cedar, not having managed to manufacture an adequate defense mechanism fast enough not to see this.) **************** On keeping the large house, Janet. That is what my kids mean when they talk about people in the South who welcome their families home. We did have a bigger house. There were so many horrible memories associated with it that we sold it when it looked like we no longer needed the room, because both kids were gone and things were not going well. husband retired, and we moved to our cabin ~ a little log house on a pretty lake. Two beds, one bath. And do you know that within a month, both kids (one of them pregnant), a grandchild, three dogs, two cats (one with a litter of kittens) and a cageful of parakeets came to live with us in that little house with only one bathroom? I see that I don't have a point in telling that story. (Or, says Bad Cedar, I don't want to know what it is.) I am going to opt for that latter choice. :O) ******************** I do feel that there should be a safe place for the kids to come home to, if they need to. I don't ever want to live like that again, is the problem. Source of conflict, for me. The house here is bigger. We could take difficult child son in. difficult child daughter probably will come here later this year. Dread the thought of it. Definite source of conflict. I admire you Janet, for being able to do it. I hope I never have to take anyone in, again. Even difficult child daughter will need to set about recreating her own life, though we will help her to do that. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Please share your stories about how you were able to tell your difficult children "NO"
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