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Parent Emeritus
Please share your stories about how you were able to tell your difficult children "NO"
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 614560" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>husband and I may have to access outside help, too. With the site, with all of you, I am able to think through things so much more completely than I remember being able to do in therapy. This site is like being in group therapy, everyone getting better together because we hear our stories reflected in yours. </p><p></p><p>I hear what we should do, but there is so much of me that wants everything to be okay. It really is very hard to sit with these feelings. </p><p></p><p>I feel like a volatile gas compressed into something barely able to maintain its integrity, this morning. </p><p></p><p>These are the feelings Recovering posted about. I need to remember that there is nothing I need to do. Nothing to fix, nothing to mourn, nothing to change. The one person I have any influence over is myself. I am going to read through your posts, which teach me so much, and then, am going to begin taking care of myself in a conscious way.</p><p></p><p>Each of the postings I have received in response to my question have been of immeasurable value in helping me see how to come through this without lapsing into playing the fool or the tragic victim or even, the supportive wife and/or perfect mother role. This is right where I need to be. No cookie baking, no house cleaning, no shopping spree. Just going to sit here. Yoga later, and Tai Chi.</p><p></p><p>Here is a funny thing. I told husband this morning that I was in a bad mood. In his usual way, he tried to joke around a little and so on, first to find out whether it was something he had done {{{( :O) Power to the people, baby!)}}}} and second, to figure out what he needed to reflect back to me, if the problem wasn't him. I didn't even respond as I usually do. So he made us breakfast, which is something I usually do. Which is a good thing, actually. We are both just sort of sitting here, seeing what this feels like. Probably the healthiest thing, given that I have all of you to process these thoughts and feelings with.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>husband did FB with difficult child son last night, and called him this morning. I can't imagine what difficult child son thinks has happened, but trust me, the conversation was a very different thing than he is used to.)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 614560, member: 1721"] husband and I may have to access outside help, too. With the site, with all of you, I am able to think through things so much more completely than I remember being able to do in therapy. This site is like being in group therapy, everyone getting better together because we hear our stories reflected in yours. I hear what we should do, but there is so much of me that wants everything to be okay. It really is very hard to sit with these feelings. I feel like a volatile gas compressed into something barely able to maintain its integrity, this morning. These are the feelings Recovering posted about. I need to remember that there is nothing I need to do. Nothing to fix, nothing to mourn, nothing to change. The one person I have any influence over is myself. I am going to read through your posts, which teach me so much, and then, am going to begin taking care of myself in a conscious way. Each of the postings I have received in response to my question have been of immeasurable value in helping me see how to come through this without lapsing into playing the fool or the tragic victim or even, the supportive wife and/or perfect mother role. This is right where I need to be. No cookie baking, no house cleaning, no shopping spree. Just going to sit here. Yoga later, and Tai Chi. Here is a funny thing. I told husband this morning that I was in a bad mood. In his usual way, he tried to joke around a little and so on, first to find out whether it was something he had done {{{( :O) Power to the people, baby!)}}}} and second, to figure out what he needed to reflect back to me, if the problem wasn't him. I didn't even respond as I usually do. So he made us breakfast, which is something I usually do. Which is a good thing, actually. We are both just sort of sitting here, seeing what this feels like. Probably the healthiest thing, given that I have all of you to process these thoughts and feelings with. :O) husband did FB with difficult child son last night, and called him this morning. I can't imagine what difficult child son thinks has happened, but trust me, the conversation was a very different thing than he is used to.) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Please share your stories about how you were able to tell your difficult children "NO"
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