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<blockquote data-quote="jamrobmic" data-source="post: 67159" data-attributes="member: 1412"><p>I don't think Ross Greene advocates letting a child run your household. I think anyone who thinks employing his methods means letting your kid do what they want so they won't have a tantrum completely misses the point. And I don't think his methods are helpful with every kid who throws a fit (nor are they meant to be). I do think there are some kids who are wired differently (due to various reasons), or have psychological issues (also due to various reasons), that make the usual parenting methods useless with them. </p><p></p><p>My son was a easy child for about the first eight years of his life, and then he became extremely oppositional. The more he balked, the more strict I was. If I told him to wash his hands, and he didn't wash his hands, I dragged him over to the sink and forced him to wash his hands. This didn't make him more obedient, it made him more defiant. However, we parented like this until he started getting into real trouble at 15. He skipped a day of school (yes, "one" day), so I had the school charge him with truancy, which got him into the juvenile system. If you thought I was tough on him, they were ten times tougher. NONE OF IT changed his behavior. So we were forced to change our parenting by picking our battles. Our goal wasn't blind obedience to our every command, it was to change behavior that was destructive to him. That didn't mean letting him do what he wanted. He did not run our household. But if he didn't wash his hands, so what?</p><p></p><p>As for John Rosemond's belief that some kids are just bad, and that chemical imbalances don't exist...well, my son was a different person on medication, and now that he's off medication, he's a different person again (one with a nasty disposition, unfortunately). Others have noticed the difference as well, so it's not just my imagination. I don't think that's the case with every kid, but for some, I believe it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jamrobmic, post: 67159, member: 1412"] I don't think Ross Greene advocates letting a child run your household. I think anyone who thinks employing his methods means letting your kid do what they want so they won't have a tantrum completely misses the point. And I don't think his methods are helpful with every kid who throws a fit (nor are they meant to be). I do think there are some kids who are wired differently (due to various reasons), or have psychological issues (also due to various reasons), that make the usual parenting methods useless with them. My son was a easy child for about the first eight years of his life, and then he became extremely oppositional. The more he balked, the more strict I was. If I told him to wash his hands, and he didn't wash his hands, I dragged him over to the sink and forced him to wash his hands. This didn't make him more obedient, it made him more defiant. However, we parented like this until he started getting into real trouble at 15. He skipped a day of school (yes, "one" day), so I had the school charge him with truancy, which got him into the juvenile system. If you thought I was tough on him, they were ten times tougher. NONE OF IT changed his behavior. So we were forced to change our parenting by picking our battles. Our goal wasn't blind obedience to our every command, it was to change behavior that was destructive to him. That didn't mean letting him do what he wanted. He did not run our household. But if he didn't wash his hands, so what? As for John Rosemond's belief that some kids are just bad, and that chemical imbalances don't exist...well, my son was a different person on medication, and now that he's off medication, he's a different person again (one with a nasty disposition, unfortunately). Others have noticed the difference as well, so it's not just my imagination. I don't think that's the case with every kid, but for some, I believe it is. [/QUOTE]
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