UAN,
Getting here very late but want you to know how sorry I am... I'm having a difficult time expressing in words what I'm feeling, want to tell you. When a loved one commits suicide, I know first hand how hard it is for those left behind.
I'm glad you're going to be with your parents. Take it day by day. Be gentle with yourself. Loss of a loved one is never easy but when it is a suicide, it's complicated by all the unanswered questions, all the what ifs...
Sending strength, prayers to help you through today and those that follow, as you begin the journey down that rocky, uneven path to understanding, acceptance, and peace... Much love... SFR