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Plenty of "newbie" Residential Treatment Center (RTC) questions
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 382092" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>I really think difficult child needs an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I think we need it as a family as well. It took me a long time to get over guilt, sorrow and then allowing myself to give up in a way that isn't actually walking away but seeking other options that seemed to painful at first. Letting go isn't easy but it is what is best, I finally see that and it isn't in a wishy washy "he's doing better for now" way. I kept concentrating on his good side and making excuses for his bad side. The danger level is simply too high to ignore anymore.</p><p> </p><p>I know I am in the fight for my life to get him into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My only ally is his regular psychiatrist.</p><p> </p><p>Regular psychiatrist- already very on board with a local childrens home referal for short term, she is easy to work with and just an awesome person. She recognizes and acknowledges the situation for what it is. Long term care isn't something we broached yet. Even though she is well known and respected in our area she is the rare gem that both values and respects my parental input and research/opinions. She actually listens.</p><p> </p><p>psychiatrist at psychiatric hospital-Seems to be one of those busy important types who may or may not be on board but was VERY reluctant to admit difficult child in spite of dcfs referal because difficult child was calm at emergency room. Um, hellllooooo...he has a cyclic mood disorder and odd. Calming down don't mean squat after an assault at home. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /></p><p> </p><p>School-Fo'get about it! Even IF they saw a need they would still cost us more in legal fees than actual Residential Treatment Center (RTC) cost. Plus, difficult child has good grades so there is no way they will see it as their problem. The outbursts are at home. In spite of some academic needs he is a perfect sweet little angel in their eyes. Unless I'm missing something I don't think they are technically responsible in our case.</p><p> </p><p>DCFS-May or may not be in our lives voluntarily. They also hold very close to the theory that I need counseling, I need classes and some anger managment for difficult child will be the cure all. No matter what I suggest difficult child needs they counter it with what I "should be doing". It's just another wall to talk to. On top of that they do not want to foot the bill either. I have already been clued in that odds are I will HAVE to take him home or my only other alternative is a "lock out" and eventual having to sign him over to them or have them take him. I either tolerate his garbage with minimal help on their end or they yank him and presumably continue to have nothing much to offer and I lose custody along with potential issues with other kids in house. We will get past the "incident" unscathed but they will punish me legally with their authority if I insist on REAL HELP.</p><p> </p><p>DCFS also would rather dump him on family instead of help him. IF they get custody they will just send him back to his abusive birth father, the unmedicated schizo who messed difficult child up in the first place. The ex is manipulative and can play normal long enough to get difficult child and then difficult child is lost forever to a perpetual adolescent Dad who will give him no rules, boundaries or mental health support. He'd have better odds trying to run across a highway.</p><p> </p><p>Our finances-Going to mess us up at every turn. On paper we look comfortable but we have limited resources in reality. A couple to a few hundred a month is possible but it would create a rather large hardship. The thousand or more Residential Treatment Center (RTC) requires is absolutely beyond our means. Although loans and second mortgages are suggested I just can't see 30 years of financial hardship in order to help difficult child. I know that sounds cold but we have been through a lot already. Throwing ourselves and our OTHER CHILDREN into lifelong financial hardship is just more than we can deal with anymore. If I knew it would "cure" him or had a 100% chance of rehabilitating him, maybe. It's also likely adding 20, 30 or even 100 thousand in debt won't add up to much in his life and he would still come back and steal from us while we are still paying off his trip to "camp". I'm just not willing to bleed myself dry anymore. I have my own life to lead and needs too.</p><p> </p><p>What do you guys think?</p><p> </p><p>My only other idea before researching the link in the thread is boystown. </p><p> </p><p>I'm so burnt out. Yet another battle upcoming with the powers that be...this is the LAST one. I'm done. I have nothing left to give.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/whiteflag.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whiteflag:" title="whiteflag :whiteflag:" data-shortname=":whiteflag:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 382092, member: 8617"] I really think difficult child needs an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I think we need it as a family as well. It took me a long time to get over guilt, sorrow and then allowing myself to give up in a way that isn't actually walking away but seeking other options that seemed to painful at first. Letting go isn't easy but it is what is best, I finally see that and it isn't in a wishy washy "he's doing better for now" way. I kept concentrating on his good side and making excuses for his bad side. The danger level is simply too high to ignore anymore. I know I am in the fight for my life to get him into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My only ally is his regular psychiatrist. Regular psychiatrist- already very on board with a local childrens home referal for short term, she is easy to work with and just an awesome person. She recognizes and acknowledges the situation for what it is. Long term care isn't something we broached yet. Even though she is well known and respected in our area she is the rare gem that both values and respects my parental input and research/opinions. She actually listens. psychiatrist at psychiatric hospital-Seems to be one of those busy important types who may or may not be on board but was VERY reluctant to admit difficult child in spite of dcfs referal because difficult child was calm at emergency room. Um, hellllooooo...he has a cyclic mood disorder and odd. Calming down don't mean squat after an assault at home. :sick: School-Fo'get about it! Even IF they saw a need they would still cost us more in legal fees than actual Residential Treatment Center (RTC) cost. Plus, difficult child has good grades so there is no way they will see it as their problem. The outbursts are at home. In spite of some academic needs he is a perfect sweet little angel in their eyes. Unless I'm missing something I don't think they are technically responsible in our case. DCFS-May or may not be in our lives voluntarily. They also hold very close to the theory that I need counseling, I need classes and some anger managment for difficult child will be the cure all. No matter what I suggest difficult child needs they counter it with what I "should be doing". It's just another wall to talk to. On top of that they do not want to foot the bill either. I have already been clued in that odds are I will HAVE to take him home or my only other alternative is a "lock out" and eventual having to sign him over to them or have them take him. I either tolerate his garbage with minimal help on their end or they yank him and presumably continue to have nothing much to offer and I lose custody along with potential issues with other kids in house. We will get past the "incident" unscathed but they will punish me legally with their authority if I insist on REAL HELP. DCFS also would rather dump him on family instead of help him. IF they get custody they will just send him back to his abusive birth father, the unmedicated schizo who messed difficult child up in the first place. The ex is manipulative and can play normal long enough to get difficult child and then difficult child is lost forever to a perpetual adolescent Dad who will give him no rules, boundaries or mental health support. He'd have better odds trying to run across a highway. Our finances-Going to mess us up at every turn. On paper we look comfortable but we have limited resources in reality. A couple to a few hundred a month is possible but it would create a rather large hardship. The thousand or more Residential Treatment Center (RTC) requires is absolutely beyond our means. Although loans and second mortgages are suggested I just can't see 30 years of financial hardship in order to help difficult child. I know that sounds cold but we have been through a lot already. Throwing ourselves and our OTHER CHILDREN into lifelong financial hardship is just more than we can deal with anymore. If I knew it would "cure" him or had a 100% chance of rehabilitating him, maybe. It's also likely adding 20, 30 or even 100 thousand in debt won't add up to much in his life and he would still come back and steal from us while we are still paying off his trip to "camp". I'm just not willing to bleed myself dry anymore. I have my own life to lead and needs too. What do you guys think? My only other idea before researching the link in the thread is boystown. I'm so burnt out. Yet another battle upcoming with the powers that be...this is the LAST one. I'm done. I have nothing left to give.:whiteflag: [/QUOTE]
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