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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 195600" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p> </p><p>Negotiation or duelling solutions usually takes place when concerns are not being addressed, meaning examing concerns , putting them on the table and then brainstorming for solutions . The difference between concerns and solutions is crucial in CPS</p><p>Most of the work must be done oput of the moment. it needs practice and also a paradigm shift in the kid that his needs will be served in a win-win situation. It means spending one on one time connecting , chatting , perspective taking , reflecting. </p><p>You can talk about ' timing' , what is a good time or a bad time to discuss things or get things done , if he is worried that his needs will not be adddressed , what does that mean to him , is he worried that you will forget , these are the type of questions you can explore with him and come up with a plan for eg writing it done on the planner. I would rather work with my kid this way than try and manipulate him with incentives , consequences etc </p><p>time outs , withdrawing priveleges - a sure way to world war 3</p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 195600, member: 10"] Hi, Negotiation or duelling solutions usually takes place when concerns are not being addressed, meaning examing concerns , putting them on the table and then brainstorming for solutions . The difference between concerns and solutions is crucial in CPS Most of the work must be done oput of the moment. it needs practice and also a paradigm shift in the kid that his needs will be served in a win-win situation. It means spending one on one time connecting , chatting , perspective taking , reflecting. You can talk about ' timing' , what is a good time or a bad time to discuss things or get things done , if he is worried that his needs will not be adddressed , what does that mean to him , is he worried that you will forget , these are the type of questions you can explore with him and come up with a plan for eg writing it done on the planner. I would rather work with my kid this way than try and manipulate him with incentives , consequences etc time outs , withdrawing priveleges - a sure way to world war 3 Allan [/QUOTE]
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