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<blockquote data-quote="TiredSoul" data-source="post: 196039" data-attributes="member: 3930"><p>Thank you Jen!</p><p>I made the same connection about activity that you did. He does really well when he is busy busy busy. We are on a break from swimming lessons right now too - he usually goes Tues/Thurs, then has Scouts on Wed, Roller Hockey on Sat eve. He LOVES to be busy. He would love to be involved in something every single evening. Right there that goes against what husband and I like. We like low key, peace & quiet, sitting around doing nothing - and that does NOT work with our difficult child. I try to remember that and keep him in things that keeps him busy and he likes to do. I just wish there was a way to get what we all want.</p><p></p><p>I tell him several times daily that I love him and remind him that I will always love him on the good days as well as the bad days.</p><p></p><p>I think you are right saying to "stop opposing" him. It is probably naturally what husband and I do. husband is VERY oppositional by nature. I think that is where the CPS model works - you have to stop and think and deal with things in a different way. </p><p></p><p>Allan,</p><p>I always follow thru with what I tell difficult child we will do. For some reason he has this fear that he won't get what he wants or get to do what he wants unless we do it RIGHT NOW. I think it is an anxiety or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thing - he used to never want to use his paper, pens, glue or whatever because he didn't want to run out for fear he would not get more. I have no idea how he came to be this way because I always get him more. He never has to go without. I think it is a feeling of being out of control for him. I try to get him to tell me what he is afraid will happen if we don't do it now - I sometimes think he feels like he might forget if we don't do it now. Maybe we should write it down on the calendar or something when we plan to do it - so he doesn't have to worry about it.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. I really appreciate it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TiredSoul, post: 196039, member: 3930"] Thank you Jen! I made the same connection about activity that you did. He does really well when he is busy busy busy. We are on a break from swimming lessons right now too - he usually goes Tues/Thurs, then has Scouts on Wed, Roller Hockey on Sat eve. He LOVES to be busy. He would love to be involved in something every single evening. Right there that goes against what husband and I like. We like low key, peace & quiet, sitting around doing nothing - and that does NOT work with our difficult child. I try to remember that and keep him in things that keeps him busy and he likes to do. I just wish there was a way to get what we all want. I tell him several times daily that I love him and remind him that I will always love him on the good days as well as the bad days. I think you are right saying to "stop opposing" him. It is probably naturally what husband and I do. husband is VERY oppositional by nature. I think that is where the CPS model works - you have to stop and think and deal with things in a different way. Allan, I always follow thru with what I tell difficult child we will do. For some reason he has this fear that he won't get what he wants or get to do what he wants unless we do it RIGHT NOW. I think it is an anxiety or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thing - he used to never want to use his paper, pens, glue or whatever because he didn't want to run out for fear he would not get more. I have no idea how he came to be this way because I always get him more. He never has to go without. I think it is a feeling of being out of control for him. I try to get him to tell me what he is afraid will happen if we don't do it now - I sometimes think he feels like he might forget if we don't do it now. Maybe we should write it down on the calendar or something when we plan to do it - so he doesn't have to worry about it. Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. I really appreciate it. [/QUOTE]
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