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PO issue
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 207135" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Although I think I understand the situation and sympathize with you, I am not so sure that you should go on the offensive with the PO. With many years experience parenting I have never found a positive result from an action that could harm someone's career or standing. Most of the time there is a basic need to retaliate, to negate the validity of the "attacker"</p><p>(yes, I know it is not an attack but it can easily be seen as one by a defensive government employee).</p><p> </p><p>in my humble opinion you have every right to express your concerns. I just suggest that you do so in a less assertive way. "The system" is VERY imperfect and children/teens frequently are negatively impacted when a loser employee</p><p>gets involved. </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps you can share your feelings in a more subtle way. Off the top of my head I would think it best to write something like "following our meeting the other day at my home I was uncomfortable that difficult child might</p><p>believe that your role and my role might be blended" "although, for example, I respect your choice to allow your sons M rated games and cell phone use I have made choices for my son that I also believe to be right</p><p>for our family" "Your deligence in helping difficult child successfully complete the</p><p>terms of his probation really is appreciated. I do hope that he is able to respect you for your position as a representative of the Court without feeling that his Mother is in a diminished capacity for guiding him toward</p><p>adulthood"</p><p> </p><p>Something along that line I think would be of help to you, difficult child and also</p><p>make it subtely clear that you are the Mom. Perhaps others don't agree</p><p>but in the CD family we all share what we think is best...even if it isn't the most popular choice. LOL</p><p> </p><p>Sending hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 207135, member: 35"] Although I think I understand the situation and sympathize with you, I am not so sure that you should go on the offensive with the PO. With many years experience parenting I have never found a positive result from an action that could harm someone's career or standing. Most of the time there is a basic need to retaliate, to negate the validity of the "attacker" (yes, I know it is not an attack but it can easily be seen as one by a defensive government employee). in my humble opinion you have every right to express your concerns. I just suggest that you do so in a less assertive way. "The system" is VERY imperfect and children/teens frequently are negatively impacted when a loser employee gets involved. Perhaps you can share your feelings in a more subtle way. Off the top of my head I would think it best to write something like "following our meeting the other day at my home I was uncomfortable that difficult child might believe that your role and my role might be blended" "although, for example, I respect your choice to allow your sons M rated games and cell phone use I have made choices for my son that I also believe to be right for our family" "Your deligence in helping difficult child successfully complete the terms of his probation really is appreciated. I do hope that he is able to respect you for your position as a representative of the Court without feeling that his Mother is in a diminished capacity for guiding him toward adulthood" Something along that line I think would be of help to you, difficult child and also make it subtely clear that you are the Mom. Perhaps others don't agree but in the CD family we all share what we think is best...even if it isn't the most popular choice. LOL Sending hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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