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Poetry from Jail...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 450652" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi Toughlovin, </p><p></p><p>Yes, It was definitely the stress of seeing my oldest difficult child in Jail and then Prison 4 to 5 yrs ago that sent me over the edge. Now, I was Bipolar all my life and didn't know it. I was manic for about 2 weeks prior to my psychotic breakdown. </p><p></p><p>Those who know me from the board say 5 yrs ago and before would probibly tell you that they can see a difference in my posts. I used to be very passionate and emotionally driven. Could write for hours on end about everything. I was very intense. The medications have definitely "dulled" my emotions. </p><p>I think for alot of creative people who get on these mood stabilizers they lose their passionate and creative side. My husband says that I am not the same "vibrant" woman he married. </p><p>It's sad that part of me...is gone, but I have tried a couple of times to go off the medication and the anxiety and depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't believe I lived most of my life like that. It is a relief to not be so intense anymore...though I know I'm not nearly as "interesting" as I used to be. </p><p>But the trade off is that I am sane now. </p><p></p><p>The doctors don't really discuss the stressors in my life. They mostly just want to know if I'm having delusional thoughts. Now, a Psychologist would likely discuss the stressors and pain involved in my life. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I hope that kind of answers your questions. </p><p>I sometimes really miss the "old me" as I was also very OCDish and a perfectionist. I don't clean my house religiously anymore or am a fanatic about keeping finances in perfect order now. I helped my husband quite a bit years ago with our company and I don't do that now either. </p><p>It is definitely a trade off but I am relieved emotionally now. </p><p></p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 450652, member: 3305"] Hi Toughlovin, Yes, It was definitely the stress of seeing my oldest difficult child in Jail and then Prison 4 to 5 yrs ago that sent me over the edge. Now, I was Bipolar all my life and didn't know it. I was manic for about 2 weeks prior to my psychotic breakdown. Those who know me from the board say 5 yrs ago and before would probibly tell you that they can see a difference in my posts. I used to be very passionate and emotionally driven. Could write for hours on end about everything. I was very intense. The medications have definitely "dulled" my emotions. I think for alot of creative people who get on these mood stabilizers they lose their passionate and creative side. My husband says that I am not the same "vibrant" woman he married. It's sad that part of me...is gone, but I have tried a couple of times to go off the medication and the anxiety and depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't believe I lived most of my life like that. It is a relief to not be so intense anymore...though I know I'm not nearly as "interesting" as I used to be. But the trade off is that I am sane now. The doctors don't really discuss the stressors in my life. They mostly just want to know if I'm having delusional thoughts. Now, a Psychologist would likely discuss the stressors and pain involved in my life. Anyway, I hope that kind of answers your questions. I sometimes really miss the "old me" as I was also very OCDish and a perfectionist. I don't clean my house religiously anymore or am a fanatic about keeping finances in perfect order now. I helped my husband quite a bit years ago with our company and I don't do that now either. It is definitely a trade off but I am relieved emotionally now. LMS [/QUOTE]
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