Pole Dancing

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Mar 2, 2008.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    easy child was cleaning her room today and found a yellow folder filled with-clippings of women from her magazines, and several pps printed off of YouTube, incl. Double Sensual Pole Dance Song--with-photos. She wanted to know where it came from.
    Obviously, the pics were cut from her mags, but the ragged scissors marks on one clearly indicated a difficult child venture. What got us both was how well organized it was in the folder--and this from a kid who is flunking math and lacks organizational skills!
    Getting him to fess up will be nearly impossible, since it was printed out last August, but I'll see what we can come up with.
    I want to know how he knows to go onto those websites. His friends? Something on TV? Must be his friends ... that's how most YouTube info gets around.
    easy child and I have to lock our doors. I'll have to add a new door lock for her to my ongoing Mr. Handyman list.
    We also have to figure out how to lock our computers ... we both have passwords but he somehow gets around them and creates his own. He's way too clever for me sometimes.
    Luckily, I have a good friend who can help me figure out something.
    difficult child doesn't have an Internet connection on his own computer so he sneaks into easy child's rm to use hers. We had kept the Internet computer in the kitchen but it was too much of a flashpoint/bone of contention between the kids, and easy child had and still has so much homework, it wasn't fair to her.

    It's actually kind of funny ... but the problem is, once you get onto these websites, it's only one click away from major league closeups of body parts, aka hard porn.
     
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    ok that is kinda funny in a way yet alarming. i know what you mean older difficult child same thing with computer. she bypasses every block known to man.

    nwo she has one in her room complete disaster altogether.

    it's amazing what they can actually organize when they want to, huh...??

    i actually have a drawer in my rm. for anything i want kept away from older difficult child it can be peppridge farm cookies, biore strips you name it. seh goes thru my stuff constnatly have to go into her rm every morning to gegt my make up that she touches.

    wow i'm rambling about me sorry in pity mode today. yuo sound soo calm and under control with it all good for you!!!! :)

    i was calm a few days ago that's done for me now.......lol

    door locks are great thing i need one for our room so we can only get in with key to protect our stuff they even steal our change
     
  3. AprilH

    AprilH Guest

    I wish I only had to put locks on my doors because my son was stealing! I have to put locks on my (and my daughter's door) to keep him from hurting us while we sleep when my husband is away.
     
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Terry, difficult child 1 had a similar folder at about the same age. We didn't have the net, then, but his consisted of underwear models from the penny's catalog, etc. When I found his, because of location, I know it had been over a year since he'd touched it and I didn't make an issue of it.

    If it makes you feel any better, this isn't atypical in the land of difficult child-dom! lol I'm not so sure its atypical in pre-pubescent boys, either, except the internet part adds a new, and very scarey, dimension to it.

    Welcome to pre-teen-hood.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks. It's relatively harmless, except for the next keystroke. And I don't want him interested in the violent stuff. So far, I think he "gets it."
     
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I tend to think that you need to have a talk with him, and know in your heart that it's been a long time past. He's going to say "I don't do that anymore" or "it was my friend"! You can honestly look him in the eye and say "We don't approve, and we will be watching you."

    I had to laugh when I read this post. You know how there are always Amazon Resources links listed on the side of the page related to whatever the topic of the post is? The side of this one is "Exotic dance poles for sale" "Exotic pole dancing lessons" "Pole Dancing - Your Momma Can't Dance".

    :rofl:
     
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I agree with Witz - I think you can have a non-confrontational discussion with him about what's okay and what's not okay. He's beyond that pre-teen curiosity in my opinion, and this is the time to step in and make sure it doesn't become something he's fixated on, even if he hasn't touched THAT folder in a year...he may not need the folder anymore because the images are in his head OR he has access to stuff like that elsewhere. Let's admit it, our difficult children can be very resourceful when they are interested in something.

    Know what bugs the crud out of me? My difficult child and some of her difficult child girlfriends think it's cool to pole dance for their boyfriends together?? WTF? Ugh, makes me sick to see how far backwards our women's movement has gone.:faint:
     
  8. dcwsaranac

    dcwsaranac I hear music...

    OK, I can't offer a professional opion on the behavior, but ....oh, yes, I remember those days of the JC Penny catalog....:nostalgic:

    Ahem - sorry, got a little sidetracked there.:redface:


    Anyway, I can offer a professional opinion on the computer issue.

    First of all, Vista may be getting a bad rap by a lot of people, but the parental controls are great. I gave over the better of my computers to the kids just so I could employ them.

    Another option that can be employed if the young man is just to good at cracking passwords is this: Use a wireless router. Purchase usb 802.11g wireless NICS. Configure the MAC address filtering on the router to block all but those NICs. When you leave the computer, put the NIC in your pocket. With no access to the router, there's no access to the internet. If the boy is crafty enough to get his own USB wireless NIC, he is wasting his time because the MAC address filtering will block it.
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Okay - I swear.....dont' mean to scare you but Dude did the same thing to my magazines - and while I literally took a magic marker and wrote A+ on his project - (he was not amused) he was using it for a um...er...ahh...visual aid.

    So I had to lock up all my magazines - or my scrapbooking sources were ravaged. WHO EVER thinks they have to lock up a Smithsonian magazine? But there are women in there - argh.

    As far as the computers - and him getting in? Check to see if he has logged on as a guest account. If there is an administrator account if it was ever left open (FROM NOT LOGGING OFF EACH TIME) then he could go in and create a guest account for himself.

    In order to do this - you must have forgotten to LOG OFF. Or you think if you put a password on your computer then you don't have to LOG OFF each time - (wwwwrrrrong) I found out the hard way - I figured once the screen saver started he couldn't get in.....wwwwrong. You MUST LOG OFF each time - or he has access to your computer and any subsequent accounts - like your daughter -

    If she is a guest under you being the administrator tell her to get in the habit of LOGGING OFF not just switch user - or if she is the administrator on her OWN computer - then tell her she must LOG OFF each time she leaves the computer in order for the password protected page to pop up.

    I have beat my head trying to figure out how Dude would get on - and my computer was set to screen saver 5 minutes - thinking - that gives me plenty of time to shut my stuff off - and then viola - but the viola never came.....and I thought "Well he must be shutting it off and turning it on a ton to get it to reset" - nope - just me not LOGGING OFF every time.

    Hope this helps -

    Oh and FYI - As far as her knowing when difficult child is in easy child's room? Get used to putting a piece of tape at the bottom of the door taping the jam and the door together ....a small insignificant piece and if it's broken when she gets to the door - he's been in there. Lock or not - also if her room is on the first floor- tell her to make SURE her windows are locked. I now have all my doors key lock entry......when I sell this place I'm sure it will be a bonus..lol.

    ARGH....

    hugs
    Star
     
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Oh.....my nasty little afterthought??

    You ARE a mural artist - couldn't you get something painted on his wall??? LOL....snort......spanking and sending myself to the corner.

    Sorry - :tongue:
     
  11. dcwsaranac

    dcwsaranac I hear music...

    or the ceiling....

    OK, move over, my turn in the corner.
     
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