difficult child has been doing well at home. A few weeks ago, I posted that he had won his division at the karate tournament. He has been dealing better with easy child. We even went away for a weekend trip and he was great! Yesterday, I was at work little more than a few minutes when the collaborative day program called and said I needed to come. I immediately headed out on the 45-minute trip. About 10 minutes later, my cell rang - I pulled over to answer it - and they were asking my permission to call for an e.r. escort. I asked them to wait for me - they asked what time I could be there - said they would call for them to be there about 10 minutes after I arrived. I think we were all trying to avoid me showing up with police cars blocking the driveway again - lights flashing and sirens blaring. I got there in record time. Same situation, different day. difficult child calmed for me in under 2 minutes. Went with the officers willingly. We sat in the e.r. from 10:30 a.m. until 7:45 p.m. Then a 1 hour intake meeting. I left difficult child about 8:50 p.m. He cried and I have to admit that I did too. Not in front of him, though. I told him things would be alright and not to give up. Problem is, I just feel very sad and very numb right now, for the most part. I am fairly certain the staff feels that I am thisclose to snapping my darn self. It's just that I have felt lately that nothing ever changes, except we all keep getting older. We have been riding the diagnosis/medication roller coaster for around 7 years now. At a recent evaluation. by a new psychiatrist called in for a consult, we were told he doesn't think difficult child fits the BiPolar (BP) criterion. He said maybe aspergers with odd and hyperactivity. Well, funny doctor, but that's what the initial doctor said who evaluated difficult child when he was 4. It's like we've come full circle. He even said that he feels we are reaching the end of the available medications to try. I am a positive, dust-yourself-off kind of person usually, but not for the past few weeks, certainly not yesterday and not today. I feel horrible for feeling this way when I am telling difficult child not to give up - that we'll figure it out, but I guess I thought that's what he needed to hear. I am just one sad warrier today. Please keep us in your thoughts.