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Pondering Dude
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 177419" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Thanks everyone.....</p><p> </p><p>FIRST - Here are some things that are going on in his life - </p><p> </p><p>also....</p><p> </p><p>He is STILL looking at court before November upstate that wants to charge him with 15 years in prison for a bogus charge and a Public Defender that has had since March to "gather" mental health info and hasnt called one person. I've decided to call her and ask WTH? I also think it may be worth a drive up there to talk with the man that is pressing charges and try to explain what is going on - see if he's the one that pressed the charges - if so will he consider MORE supervised community service (of his choice) instead of 15 years and a 2nd felony strike for a charge he can't and no one can prove. </p><p> </p><p>I think this is gnawing at Dude - I know it gnaws at me. And in all fairness? Dude has stayed OUT of all trouble, gone to school, faithfully goes to church (whatever that means to him) and in his own mind HAS looked for a job - but has no way to get there. </p><p> </p><p>His biggest problem seems to be keeping a job. He's had "odd" jobs - but like a 12 year old - spends the money he gets when he gets it - NO ONE says _ here let me hold that. Like they were SUPPOSED to do - teach finance - get back account, help with cooking, living on own - none of that has been done - once again - the woman runs a daycare M-F 7-6PM and the man works double shifts and has since Dude's been there. So no - no one is "taking him" and "doing what they should" but again - GIVE ME THE MONEY - and I'd have stuff done. ARGH. </p><p> </p><p>DF thinks - I want to PAY his fines......NO NO NO.....I do not want to do that - I don't even think I can do that.....financially. But I guess I don't know whether to say "Okay people look - the kid is manic depressive and going down quick - he CAN NOT keep a job, he CAN NOT pay these fines I don't know what can be done, but WHAT CAN WE DO?" </p><p> </p><p>Then on the other side - some are saying - HE is USING this ploy to get me to pay his fines and bail him out - and if I do - this will be a never ending situation for me. I can't live like my xmil did - I WON'T. She died trying to help x- and look what it got her - nothing has changed with him and he's 52. </p><p> </p><p>Part of me wants to just go to the courthouse, and talk to the judge that set these fines and see if he would take into consideration that his atty NEVER mentioned that Dude has problems - NEVER NEVER - jerk didn't even show up in court and met him the day BEFORE court. (all bow to the PD) insert barf. </p><p> </p><p>The other part of me listend to my son in choked up tears about Puppy chow he couldn't afford, and telling me in a monotone voice that he doesn't give a SH90 about life anymore, doens't care if he goes to jail, doesn't care if he gets a job - and figures at this point without an education, no job, no money, going to jail for fines he can't pay and possibly going longer for crimes he didn't do, - he's just going to end up a bum on the street sleeping under a bridge with a box for a winter home. And he didn't say it for sympathy - he meant it. </p><p> </p><p>And I just sit back and think - If I help -what will happen. If I don't help, what will happen? I'm now back on Prilosec. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 177419, member: 4964"] Thanks everyone..... FIRST - Here are some things that are going on in his life - also.... He is STILL looking at court before November upstate that wants to charge him with 15 years in prison for a bogus charge and a Public Defender that has had since March to "gather" mental health info and hasnt called one person. I've decided to call her and ask WTH? I also think it may be worth a drive up there to talk with the man that is pressing charges and try to explain what is going on - see if he's the one that pressed the charges - if so will he consider MORE supervised community service (of his choice) instead of 15 years and a 2nd felony strike for a charge he can't and no one can prove. I think this is gnawing at Dude - I know it gnaws at me. And in all fairness? Dude has stayed OUT of all trouble, gone to school, faithfully goes to church (whatever that means to him) and in his own mind HAS looked for a job - but has no way to get there. His biggest problem seems to be keeping a job. He's had "odd" jobs - but like a 12 year old - spends the money he gets when he gets it - NO ONE says _ here let me hold that. Like they were SUPPOSED to do - teach finance - get back account, help with cooking, living on own - none of that has been done - once again - the woman runs a daycare M-F 7-6PM and the man works double shifts and has since Dude's been there. So no - no one is "taking him" and "doing what they should" but again - GIVE ME THE MONEY - and I'd have stuff done. ARGH. DF thinks - I want to PAY his fines......NO NO NO.....I do not want to do that - I don't even think I can do that.....financially. But I guess I don't know whether to say "Okay people look - the kid is manic depressive and going down quick - he CAN NOT keep a job, he CAN NOT pay these fines I don't know what can be done, but WHAT CAN WE DO?" Then on the other side - some are saying - HE is USING this ploy to get me to pay his fines and bail him out - and if I do - this will be a never ending situation for me. I can't live like my xmil did - I WON'T. She died trying to help x- and look what it got her - nothing has changed with him and he's 52. Part of me wants to just go to the courthouse, and talk to the judge that set these fines and see if he would take into consideration that his atty NEVER mentioned that Dude has problems - NEVER NEVER - jerk didn't even show up in court and met him the day BEFORE court. (all bow to the PD) insert barf. The other part of me listend to my son in choked up tears about Puppy chow he couldn't afford, and telling me in a monotone voice that he doesn't give a SH90 about life anymore, doens't care if he goes to jail, doesn't care if he gets a job - and figures at this point without an education, no job, no money, going to jail for fines he can't pay and possibly going longer for crimes he didn't do, - he's just going to end up a bum on the street sleeping under a bridge with a box for a winter home. And he didn't say it for sympathy - he meant it. And I just sit back and think - If I help -what will happen. If I don't help, what will happen? I'm now back on Prilosec. :sick: [/QUOTE]
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