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General Parenting
Pop Quiz # 3 A Mother's Choice
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 121564" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well tell this poor Mom 1st she needs to come here for support. Is she getting any at all? </p><p></p><p>I am going through the exact same thing currently with my 17 year old son- although no threats to kill or set fire - he's a very unstable person at times. </p><p></p><p>Sending him out of state - ISN'T this care all about reunification with family? </p><p></p><p>Sending him home - Didn't he threaten to kill his family and set fire? DIdn't the mom sign him over so her family could be safe? </p><p></p><p>Sending him to a new Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - WHY OH WHY OH WHY does this happen everywhere. I'm getting ready to attend a conference next month to discuss how to improve the system and the VERY FIRST NUMBER ONE THING ON MY LIST - LEAVE THE KIDS WHERE THEY ARE, stop freaking moving them around and around - it's not a good thing - my son is living proof. 18 months isn't long enough to help you do more than get over acne. And I don't have a masters in child psychology - HUGE INFLATED GINORMOUS DUH.....</p><p></p><p>So none of the above are options. Telling the state team that evaluated him what could potentially happen if he's moved to A, B or option C may go a long way to keeping him where he is. </p><p></p><p>Simplified mathematics: ask them = </p><p></p><p>Do you want him to continue making progress? Yes - keep him where he is at. </p><p></p><p>OR </p><p></p><p>Do you want him to murder a foster family in their sleep and burn down a house? NO? Okay foster care is out. Oh that doesn't bother you? Ask the foster family he's going to live with first if that would bother them? Maybe it will end that venture. </p><p></p><p>DO you want him to murder his own family in their sleep and burn down their house? No? Okay - moving back home is out. This you should know as the criteria for a mother to sign her son over to the state shouldn't allow that child to come home until full rehabilitation for YEAR is done. If they don't think that's a bad idea - then THEY need therapy. HOLY MOSES IN A REED BASKET. Id' tell the state the first sibling to hit the ground dead and in flames - wins????? HONEST TO PETE ARE THEY FOR REAL????? </p><p></p><p>Do you want him to START ALL OVER AGAIN at some new Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where he can't and won't build bonds of trust with a therapist or psychiatrist for at least 18 months and then move him again - mean while he has NO FREAKING support of his family - OH sure - that sounds best to you - well NOT TO ME. </p><p></p><p>This system is just stupid - no one wants to make a commitment with kids like mine because - because mostly because while we say My son is capable and has done x,y,z - professional people look at the parent like "Well he does x,y,z, because you have done a,g,1,and maybe. f. Then they get the kid into the system, start talking to him, learning about him and figure out that THEY THEMSELVES GODS OF THE CHILDRENS PSYCHE graduating to save the bleeping world - can't do a damn thing with these kids either - there is no science, so they lump him into psychotic with the future of a career criminal and just try to PUSH HIM THROUGH THE SYSTEM so they can "get ahold" of the next child who (as I've been told a dozen times) REALLY WANTS THEIR HELP. </p><p></p><p>In other words PW - they are looking for the EASY way out ,and need a child that they can cure and feel like they have a success story with - to feel better about themselves because college couldn't have cost this much for this long - and not yielded any results with children. AS IF ANY OF THEM HAD A STINKING CLUE - </p><p></p><p>BECAUSE if they HAD A CLUE - they wouldn't move that child from where he is starting to see success from in the first place. </p><p></p><p>AND that my brother is the truth! </p><p></p><p>LIVED IT, STILL LIVING THE DREAM and didn't even get a lousy Tshirt. </p><p></p><p>So tell your friend - she's not alone - and that there are no good answers or options because the option that makes sense isn't on the table and they won't put it there - so tell her to LET THEM CHOOSE. And when people are dead or in flames - she looses a son and they just go "Gosh we were wrong about that one, live and learn." </p><p></p><p>Done preaching - the choir may be excused to go to bible class. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 121564, member: 4964"] Well tell this poor Mom 1st she needs to come here for support. Is she getting any at all? I am going through the exact same thing currently with my 17 year old son- although no threats to kill or set fire - he's a very unstable person at times. Sending him out of state - ISN'T this care all about reunification with family? Sending him home - Didn't he threaten to kill his family and set fire? DIdn't the mom sign him over so her family could be safe? Sending him to a new Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - WHY OH WHY OH WHY does this happen everywhere. I'm getting ready to attend a conference next month to discuss how to improve the system and the VERY FIRST NUMBER ONE THING ON MY LIST - LEAVE THE KIDS WHERE THEY ARE, stop freaking moving them around and around - it's not a good thing - my son is living proof. 18 months isn't long enough to help you do more than get over acne. And I don't have a masters in child psychology - HUGE INFLATED GINORMOUS DUH..... So none of the above are options. Telling the state team that evaluated him what could potentially happen if he's moved to A, B or option C may go a long way to keeping him where he is. Simplified mathematics: ask them = Do you want him to continue making progress? Yes - keep him where he is at. OR Do you want him to murder a foster family in their sleep and burn down a house? NO? Okay foster care is out. Oh that doesn't bother you? Ask the foster family he's going to live with first if that would bother them? Maybe it will end that venture. DO you want him to murder his own family in their sleep and burn down their house? No? Okay - moving back home is out. This you should know as the criteria for a mother to sign her son over to the state shouldn't allow that child to come home until full rehabilitation for YEAR is done. If they don't think that's a bad idea - then THEY need therapy. HOLY MOSES IN A REED BASKET. Id' tell the state the first sibling to hit the ground dead and in flames - wins????? HONEST TO PETE ARE THEY FOR REAL????? Do you want him to START ALL OVER AGAIN at some new Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where he can't and won't build bonds of trust with a therapist or psychiatrist for at least 18 months and then move him again - mean while he has NO FREAKING support of his family - OH sure - that sounds best to you - well NOT TO ME. This system is just stupid - no one wants to make a commitment with kids like mine because - because mostly because while we say My son is capable and has done x,y,z - professional people look at the parent like "Well he does x,y,z, because you have done a,g,1,and maybe. f. Then they get the kid into the system, start talking to him, learning about him and figure out that THEY THEMSELVES GODS OF THE CHILDRENS PSYCHE graduating to save the bleeping world - can't do a damn thing with these kids either - there is no science, so they lump him into psychotic with the future of a career criminal and just try to PUSH HIM THROUGH THE SYSTEM so they can "get ahold" of the next child who (as I've been told a dozen times) REALLY WANTS THEIR HELP. In other words PW - they are looking for the EASY way out ,and need a child that they can cure and feel like they have a success story with - to feel better about themselves because college couldn't have cost this much for this long - and not yielded any results with children. AS IF ANY OF THEM HAD A STINKING CLUE - BECAUSE if they HAD A CLUE - they wouldn't move that child from where he is starting to see success from in the first place. AND that my brother is the truth! LIVED IT, STILL LIVING THE DREAM and didn't even get a lousy Tshirt. So tell your friend - she's not alone - and that there are no good answers or options because the option that makes sense isn't on the table and they won't put it there - so tell her to LET THEM CHOOSE. And when people are dead or in flames - she looses a son and they just go "Gosh we were wrong about that one, live and learn." Done preaching - the choir may be excused to go to bible class. Star [/QUOTE]
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