Pornography - the new drug

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by HopeFilledMama, Jul 27, 2016.

  1. HopeFilledMama

    HopeFilledMama New Member

    Found a website with excellent support for those who have an addiction to pornography. I find it honest, open and well done.

    There are video testimonies of how porn affected the lives of individuals, porn stars and producers.

    They also have 52 lessons (including a less than 10 minute video and some diary/thinking work) available free for ages 20 and under, and $30 for those over 20. I called and asked if I could preview it, since I wanted to suggest my son's counselor use it with him. And they gave me the ability to preview it. So far it is excellent.

    Here is the website if you are interested:
  2. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Yeah, Ted Bundy blamed his actions on an addiction to pornography.

    Though, that is obviously complete horse :censored2: from a coward desperately trying to shake blame and save face.

    Pornography is addicting the same way just about ANYTHING can be addictive. Working out becomes addictive. Defining addictive as a behavior that becomes habit, and persists even in the face of clear negative consequences. However, I have viewed as much pornography (and associated actions) as any other guy, and I am not yet blind, so.....
  3. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Yes, and a certain political party has defined pornography as the greatest health threat facing America today.

    (Gun violence, anyone?)
  4. HopeFilledMama

    HopeFilledMama New Member

    I am living this reality. My son is addicted to porn. He becomes angry and defiant because of it. When it is blocked, he then goes through all the bargaining and negotiating someone with a drug addiction does. Then he becomes aggressive and assaultive. This website has very helpful information for those who want help. Perhaps there are people who don't...that is their choice. But pornography is not good or healthy. It changes chemicals in the brain just like drugs. It ruins relationships and sets people up for things they can never have. It belittles women, and creates a lonely void. So I am glad to share that there is a way to find healing for those who want it.
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    So kind of you to share your knowledge! I don't have that going on with my son but enough of everything else to make me insane.
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I don't think porn is good or healthy. If nothing else, the bulk of "performers" in the porn industry are exploited and often trafficked.

    But, I do think that looking at "porn" that isn't violent isn't as dangerous as certain drugs.

    My personal objection to porn is that it objectifies people and acts, and very definitely can affect intimate behavior in users...especially males.

    That said, I still think gun violence is much more immediate and dangerous a health issue than porn is. Perhaps the ranking should be equally between gun violence and human trafficking.

    Eliminating human trafficking would eliminate a vast amount of hard porn available, as well as cutting down on sex tourism.

    I'm not for the elimination of guns, or against gun ownership, by the way.
  7. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Lol is a huge problem in our Country. It tears apart families and can halt employment.

    I don't have that with our son either...but we knew other highs schoolers who dappled a bit too much. Yes, it's an addiction..does it kill...not directly. It certainly doesn't help the growth of a person.
  8. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Darkwing, I love having you around here!

    Hope, thanks for sharing the info. It does sound like it is detrimental to your son's daily life and relationships. I hope that resource helps him.

    There was a movie a few years back called "Don Jon" you might want to check out too. It was about a man with a porn problem.
  9. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Also, excessive use of seriously "hardcore" porn is tied to the use of certain drugs. Usually stimulants. The one I've heard about the most is methamphetamine which apparently triggers the libido. Some of the research chemical stims have the same effect.

    That doesnt mean that using hardcore porn is going to make your child a meth user at all. It does mean that if your child is a chronic meth user, they are more likely to use porn. (and engage in unsafe sex).
  10. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    I don't really disagree with you. I think there is such a thing as too much porn, but you're making it sound like ANY is strictly a bad thing. Which is an archaic, outdated belief. Do you know why child molestation and rape is so rampant in the church? Human beings (whether created, or evolved) are sexual creatures naturally. We reproduce sexually. To aid in that, sex is gratifying. Celibacy is NOT normal. It is NOT how we are wired.

    The way you make it sound is that ANYBODY who gratifies themselves while viewing pornography is being inherently immoral, and that is a load of dog :censored2:. For a VAST majority of people who view porn regularly, it has absolutely NO negative effect on themselves, or their sexuality. It doesn't turn straight men gay, and it doesn't turn them into womanizing drunks, and child abusers. I watch porn, and that does not make me a sicko. That is the unhealthy view on sexuality.

    That being said, sure, it can be a problem. As I acknowledged in my original post. When i said that ANYTHING can be addictive, when we define addiction as persistent actions despite negative consequences. Working out too much is the same way. Healthy and beneficial when done correctly, in moderate amounts, but physically, mentally, and emotionally dangerous in too high doses. I wasn't trying to belittle what you clearly believe is a problem. Is your son into violent pornography? BDSM type stuff? That can be a red flag. Though, there are far more people into that stuff than you might thing, and most of them don't turn into serial killers, either. Still, violent pornography raises a flag slightly darker in hue than other forms of porn. Show me a man who doesn't like to view lesbian porn, for example, and I will show you a liar.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    ITA with you, Darkwing.

    My late husband was into BDSM (no sex involved) and I was not able to provide that sort of intimacy to him. He watched films online, viewed images, and did utilize outside services. I met with his um...providers.

    My husband was not sick, or a pervert. He was a good man who had a "kink" and had found a safe way to satisfy that urge.

    too much information possibly, but his dom was the best man at our wedding.
  12. HopeFilledMama

    HopeFilledMama New Member

    I don't think all men watch porn at all. Or lesbian porn, specifically.

    My son was sexually assaulted by a peer when he was 12. He has been watching not only violent porn, but very deviant porn. It has showed self-harming is the key to higher ecstasy. My son also has autism, so this stuff loops in his head, over and over.

    Perhaps you might want to check out some of the testimonial videos on the website I shared, Dark. Just a thought...
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I seriously don't think watching porn is that awful unless it is an addiction. All addictions are bad but they dont all cause harm. I would say that a man who is looking at deviant porn sites does so because that is what he finds sexually exciting. therefore if he is a sexual predator, he is more apt to do something that excites him, even if it is not the norm. But that is if he is a ptedator to begin with.

    I disagree that watching porn makes anyone into a predator. I think predators may seek out porn of the type they enjoy, not the other way around.

    I very respectfully understand that porn is seen as evil in some belief systems but most young boys visit girlie mags or sites at some point in time. Girls do too sometimes. I personally think boys and girls watching porn is normal unless it is to an excess. And I dont think watching porn causes a normal person to rape somebody.

    No offense meant.

    I can certainly imagine people doing drugs then watching porn to "enhance" the experience.

    My girl was assaulted and porn wasnt a part of it. Drinking was. She was just a child...

    I think most testimonials would be from religions I dont believe in.

    Last edited: Jul 27, 2016
  14. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Again, I am NOT disagreeing with you. I am merely showing the other side of it, and criticizing those with very archaic beliefs when it comes to sex. Sexual repression can bear negative consequences, as can hyper sexuality. The idea is a balance. But we can not truly reach that balance if we're too repressed to change our minds when new information is provided. Throughout history, sexual repression has been mostly a religious thing. The church telling people what is and is not normal, an acceptable when it comes to sex based on absolutely NOTHING but faith. That is NOT the way we progress and gain a better understanding. That is why most of the world has become much less repressed, and that trend continues today. People used to actually believe masturbation would make them blind, and send them to Hell. Very few believe that now, I'd hope. Many of the supposed harms of sex and porn has been debunked entirely as nonsense, with no basis in reality.

    And most men do watch porn, by the way. Admitting it is something else entirely, but sex is a base instinct. It is necessary for our species to survive. This is why it is gratifying. Sexual deviancy is not the guaranteed end result of viewing pornography. I am no deviant, and I viewed porn last night. Does this make me a sicko? No. It'd be more troubling if I NEVER watched porn, or sought gratification. That would mean that something is wrong with me physically, and/or emotionally, and/or mentally. I have a healthy view towards sex, and a healthy desire for it. As do most men.
  15. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    And most women, Darkwing, though women are often less visual than men are.

    At your age, if you didn't have a healthy drive and the interest in satisfying that drive, as you said, there'd be something wrong with you.

    And, as a note to older men, or those who love older men, if ED rears (or doesn't) its head, please see a good physician before rushing out for a prescription. ED can be a symptom of many dangerous systemic disorders, such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, vitamin deficiencies, and neurological disorders.

    The ED medications might still help with the ED, but you owe it to yourself or your partner, to get thoroughly checked over if ED becomes an issue.
  16. HopeFilledMama

    HopeFilledMama New Member

    Just FYI - this site that I gave a link to is 100% non-religious.

    I did not really desire to have a discourse on the OK or not OK of watching porn. I believe it is all harmful, and not at all what sex is about. That is my opinion.

    I am very impressed with this website and feel it may help out those who struggle with addiction. If you do not feel porn is a problem for you (or your spouse or teen or child) then the website link I posted is not for you.