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Parent Emeritus
Positive thoughts about difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 427110"><p>I think what Allan says makes sense with younger children and even adult kids who make general mistakes. However it is a very slippery slope when you are talking about an adult kid who is outright breaking the law, being very verbally or physically abusive to you and/or who has a serious drug problem.</p><p> </p><p>In that case as a parent you have to get past the making excuses, giving them the benefit of the doubt, looking only at the positive motivation because those things will enable the kid to keep on doing what they are doing!!! One of the key things in a situation like this is to get very realistic and get past the natural tendancy as a parent to rescue and enable the kid. It can be a fine line.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe your kids have not manipulated you... but I can tell you my son has learned the art of manipulation well and it is important for me to recognize it for what it is otherwise i fall into its trap. </p><p> </p><p>I am very willing to support and help my son out BUT I have to be very careful to not enable him, because that will just send him into further and worse drug use.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 427110"] I think what Allan says makes sense with younger children and even adult kids who make general mistakes. However it is a very slippery slope when you are talking about an adult kid who is outright breaking the law, being very verbally or physically abusive to you and/or who has a serious drug problem. In that case as a parent you have to get past the making excuses, giving them the benefit of the doubt, looking only at the positive motivation because those things will enable the kid to keep on doing what they are doing!!! One of the key things in a situation like this is to get very realistic and get past the natural tendancy as a parent to rescue and enable the kid. It can be a fine line. Maybe your kids have not manipulated you... but I can tell you my son has learned the art of manipulation well and it is important for me to recognize it for what it is otherwise i fall into its trap. I am very willing to support and help my son out BUT I have to be very careful to not enable him, because that will just send him into further and worse drug use. [/QUOTE]
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